


The Twin Paradox

by unlmtdsky



Series: The Twin Paradox [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Family Drama, Flirting, Guilt, Humor, Kissing, Mass Effect 1, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ruthless (Mass Effect), Scars, Shepard Twins (Mass Effect), Sibling Bonding, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), Spacer (Mass Effect), Survivor Guilt, Trust, War Hero (Mass Effect), plays around with canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 82,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26040982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unlmtdsky/pseuds/unlmtdsky
Summary: How will Shepard twins, set on separate paths, be changed by their differing experiences and relationships? Can they still work together to save the galaxy?This series features twins John and Sera. John Shepard follows the more standard in-game main story path, while Sera Shepard weaves in and out of John’s arc as she progresses through particular side missions/plot points. Eventually the story will span all three ME games and perhaps beyond. It will remain generally within the realm of being canon-compliant, but will diverge when and where the characters demand it!Tip: Read the prologue if you want background/setup info; skip to chapter 2 if you want to dive straight into the narrative.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Series: The Twin Paradox [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890322
Comments: 21
Kudos: 10





	1. Prologue: Two Spectre Candidates

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This story lovingly borrows characters, situations, lore, settings, etc from the world and creators of Mass Effect. I do not own these characters or the world they inhabit. This work is intended for entertainment purposes only.
> 
> Tags will be updated as the story progresses so as to not reveal spoilers in advance, though I’m throwing a ‘Mature’ rating on it already because I’m aiming to keep the overall piece in the realm of M (though it’s possible the rating gets upped to E later if that’s where things end up once we get rolling).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ambassador Udina contacts Admiral Hackett with a request. Emails are exchanged as decisions are made, and candidate dossiers are compiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This prologue is relevant to the story, but not narratively required reading (so you can skip ahead if you’d like). The dossiers can get a bit dense, so consider this a background reference and a sneak preview for what's to come. Typical chapters will be a more standard narrative. 
> 
> PS - Astute readers may be able to draw some interesting conclusions about background information or make some fun inferences or predictions about certain characters, relationships, and events using details buried in these emails and dossiers. Happy reading/skimming!

* * *

**  
From: Amb. Donnel Udina <donnel.udina@sysalliance.gov>  
** **To: Adm. Steven Hackett <steven.hackett@sysalliance.nav.mil>, Dir. Jill Pearson <jillian.pearson@sysalliance.intel.mil>  
** **Cc: Capt. David Anderson <david.anderson@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **Sent: 09 JUN 2183 at 1047:23  
** **Subject: Spectre Candidate Recommendation**

  
Hackett and Pearson,

I have negotiated an opportunity for the Alliance to present a Spectre candidate for consideration to the Council. They were receptive to the idea with minimal concessions on the Alliance’s part, and I have even managed to get a turian Spectre on board. I believe this is the right time to strike. You both know this would be a huge win for humanity, particularly after our last attempt to get a human into the Spectres failed so spectacularly.

We only get one shot at this. I need an exceptional soldier with an outstanding service record and a spotless reputation. Someone who can stand up to intense scrutiny and who has demonstrated unshakable loyalty to the Alliance. Someone who WILL NOT FAIL. Please tell me you have someone in mind. I need his name within a week if I’m going to move on this.

Ambassador Udina

*******************************************************

**From: Adm. Steven Hackett <steven.hackett@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **To: Dir. Jill Pearson <jillian.pearson@sysalliance.intel.mil>  
** **Sent: 09 JUN 2183 at 1303:59  
** **Subject: Fwd: Spectre Candidate Recommendation**

  
Jill,

I assume you’ve seen Udina’s email by now (that misogynist bastard). I know he’s asking for one candidate, but I want to recommend two: the Shepard siblings. If you’re in agreement, can you have Intelligence start putting together clssfd dossiers on the entire Shepard family? Quietly reach out to both of their COs (Anderson and Kahoku), and I’ll convince Udina to make two candidates work with the Council.

Hackett

*******************************************************

**From: Dir. Jill Pearson <jillian.pearson@sysalliance.intel.mil>  
** **To: Adm. Steven Hackett <steven.hackett@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **Sent: 09 JUN 2183 at 1421:04  
** **Subject: Re: Fwd: Spectre Candidate Recommendation**

  
I think they’re a perfect choice. There’s a reason the Alliance has them plastered all over its recruitment posters. I’ll have a team start working on those dossiers. We’ll have them to you by the end of the week.

Jill

*******************************************************

**From: Adm. Steven Hackett <steven.hackett@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **To: Amb. Donnel Udina <donnel.udina@sysalliance.gov>  
** **Sent: 09 JUN 2183 at 1652:01  
** **Subject: Re: Spectre Candidate RecommendationS**

  
Udina,

I don’t need a week—I’ve already got your name. Well, names. Serafina Shepard and Jonathan Shepard. I’m telling you, you want them both. Make it happen.

Hackett  
  


PS - Don’t think I didn’t notice that you cc’d Anderson before. Leave him the fuck alone. _  
_

*******************************************************

**From: Adm. Steven Hackett <steven.hackett@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **To: Cmdr. Hannah Shepard <hannah.shepard@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **Sent: 09 JUN 2183 at 2201:33  
** **Subject: courtesy heads up**

  
Hannah,

Udina has asked me to submit candidate names for Spectre consideration, and I have recommended both John and Sera. Assuming he agrees, Alliance Intelligence, the Council, and the media (once this becomes public) will be mucking around in your family’s history. This has to remain between us for now, but I thought you deserved a heads up.

Steven _  
_

*******************************************************

**From: Cmdr. Hannah Shepard <hannah.shepard@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **To: Adm. Steven Hackett <steven.hackett@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **Sent: 10 JUN 2183 at 0447:51  
** **Subject: Re: courtesy heads up**

  
Thank you, Steven.

—Hannah

*******************************************************

**From: Amb. Donnel Udina <donnel.udina@sysalliance.gov>  
** **To: Adm. Steven Hackett <steven.hackett@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **Sent: 10 JUN 2183 at 0839:14  
** **Subject: Re: Re: Spectre Candidate RecommendationS**

  
The Heroes of Elysium? Hmm. The Council will likely ask for more concessions if we want to put forward two candidates, but… you might be right. Get me their military records. I’ll make the call.

Udina

  
PS - Understood.

*******************************************************

**From: Adm. Steven Hackett <steven.hackett@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **To: Amb. Donnel Udina <donnel.udina@sysalliance.gov>  
** **Cc: Dir. Jill Pearson <jillian.pearson@sysalliance.intel.mil>, Capt. David Anderson <david.anderson@sysalliance.nav.mil>, Rear Adm. Akamai Kahoku <akamai.kahoku@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **Bcc: Cmdr. Hannah Shepard <hannah.shepard@alliance.nav.mil>  
** **Sent: 16 JUN 2183 at 0920:50  
** **Subject: [classified] Requested Alliance Dossiers for Spectre Candidates**

  
Ambassador Udina,

I have attached classified dossiers compiled by Alliance Intelligence on Spectre candidates Lt. Cmdr. Jonathan Shepard and Lt. Cmdr. Serafina Shepard. Secondary background dossiers on their parents are also included since they are/were Alliance, and the whole family has been in the public eye for quite some time. I have consulted with Director Jillian Pearson of the Alliance Intelligence Service, Captain David Anderson, and Rear Admiral Akamai Kahoku about the suitability of the Shepards as candidates, and we are all in agreement that they would both make excellent Spectres. 

The Admiralty Board would like me to inform you that they officially acknowledge it is in the Alliance’s interest for humanity to gain entrance to the Spectres, and they have therefore approved your request to have Council Spectre Nihlus Kryik accompany each of the candidates on one or more missions in an evaluatory capacity. As a representative of the Council, Spectre Kryik will be granted temporary high-level access to related classified Alliance mission intelligence (in addition to copies of the enclosed dossiers) pending receipt of a signed agreement with the Council affirming their intent to consider both Spectre candidates Lt. Cmdr. Jonathan Shepard and Lt. Cmdr. Serafina Shepard for induction.

Regards,

Admiral Steven Hackett

Alliance Navy

*******************************************************

* * *

**Systems Alliance Military Personnel Records Database**

**[Classified: TOP SECRET]**

::connection ESTABLISHED::

::secure connection CONFIRMED::

* * *

**CANDIDATE DOSSIER #1:**

**PERSONNEL PROFILE:**

**Name:** Jonathan Thomas Shepard  
**Date of Birth:** 11 APR 2154 [ **Current Age:** 29]  
**Date of Enlistment:** 12 APR 2172 [ **Years of Service:** 11]  
**Service No.** 5923-AC-2826  
**Status:** Active

**  
CURRENT POSTING: **

[2183 - current] Assigned to the SSV Normandy, serving as XO under Capt. D. Anderson. Will oversee ground operations for the top secret upcoming priority Council joint-mission on Eden Prime. Under evaluation as a Spectre candidate.

**  
MILITARY CLASSIFICATIONS: **

**Rank:** Lieutenant Commander, Navy  
**Special Designation:** N7 Special Forces  
**Class:** Soldier, combat specialist  
**Weapons/Skills/Training:** pistols, shotguns, assault rifles, heavy weapons, close-quarter combatives, advanced survival, advanced assault and fitness training, operational design, command and control leadership training, advanced tactical analysis, unconventional warfare  
**Notable Commendations:** Commendation Medal, Combat Action Ribbon, Silver Star, Star of Terra, N7 designation, Distinguished Service Commendation, Alliance Navy Distinguished Service Medal, Council Spectre candidate

**  
SUMMATION OF PRE-SERVICE AND SERVICE HISTORY: **

Born to Alliance military personnel Thomas Shepard and Hannah Shepard in an Alliance military hospital on the Alliance’s NYC Base in 2154. Educated at Alliance institutions until enlistment at age 18. Advanced quickly through the standard Alliance Soldier Recruit Training Program, including basic combat and fitness training, survival training, weapons specialization training, zero-gravity combat certification, and hostile environment assault training. Hand-selected for specialized combat/leadership training and identified as a candidate for the Alliance officer school.

Present on Elysium (off-duty) in 2176 during the Skyllian Blitz and played an integral role (along with Serafina Shepard) in ensuring the survival of the colony by rallying colonists and defending a fortified position until the arrival of Alliance reinforcements. Awarded the Star of Terra for distinguished service in defending the colony. Recommended for Interplanetary Combatives Training in 2176. Graduated N-School with N7 designation in 2177. While serving under Major Kyle Johnson, J. Shepard took command of a unit at Torfan in 2178; the mission resulted in 75% personnel loss but was officially deemed an operational success.

From 2178-2183, J. Shepard held postings on several Alliance cruisers and was largely assigned to missions relating to the defense of Alliance colonies from slaver and pirate attack due to his leadership skills and combat expertise. Most recently, Captain David Anderson formally requested J. Shepard’s transfer to the SSV Normandy to assist in leading several joint-operations designed to improve Alliance-Council relations, including the upcoming Eden Prime mission.

**  
DISCIPLINARY RECORD: **

**17 SEP 2180: Admonition for Off-Duty Misconduct**

  * Incident Summary: At around 2300 hours on 16 SEP 2180, Lt. Jonathan Shepard was involved in an off-duty altercation with three batarians in The Terminus Bar in the Citadel’s Zakera ward. Review of the C-Sec official report and of the establishment’s security footage confirms that Lt. Shepard became inebriated, verbally provoked the batarians, then defended himself when physically confronted by the batarians. The altercation caused minimal damage to the establishment and resulted in two of the batarians needing moderate medical attention. Lt. Shepard suffered only minor, superficial injuries. C-Sec officers arrived at the scene, intervened, then took Lt. Shepard into custody for questioning. When delivered to the Alliance’s Citadel Office for disciplinary action, Lt. Shepard offered no defense or explanation for his behavior. 
    * Action: [case _reviewed_ 17 SEP 2180 by Capt. C. Myers]  
  

  * Evaluation [17 SEP 2180 by Capt. C. Myers] _:_ “After reviewing the incident report and consulting with Lt. S. Shepard (service no. 5923-AF-0165), I have made the determination that this particular incident can be attributed to distress associated with the specific date of the incident and is not part of a larger pattern of negative behaviors warranting further disciplinary action at this time." 
    * Action: [verbal reprimand AND written Letter of Admonishment _filed_ 17 SEP 2180 by Capt. C. Myers]
    * Action: [psych referral offered 17 SEP 2180; _declined_ ]



**  
MEDICAL RECORD (Major Injury): **

None

**  
**PERSONNEL FILE NOTES: **

**12 APR 2172: Enlistment In-Processing Paperwork** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _processed_ 12 APR 2172 by Maj. E. Davenport]
  * Action: [ _approved_ 13 APR 2172 by Maj. E. Davenport]



**20 OCT 2174: Recommendation for Navy Officer Development Program** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 20 OCT 2174 by Capt. M. Vadola]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _approved_ 24 OCT 2174 by Rear Adm. W. Statkiewicz] 



**18 FEB 2176: Mission Debriefing Report (Elysium)** [ _filed_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 19 FEB 2176 by Capt. S. Hackett]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _accepted_ 20 FEB 2176 by Adm. T. Gray]



**28 FEB 2176: Official Commendation and Conferral of Star of Terra** [ _filed_ ]

 **03 MAR 2176: Conferral of Officer Commission (rank: Junior Lieutenant)** [ _filed_ ]

 **10 MAR 2176: Recommendation of Candidacy for ICT** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 10 MAR 2176 by Rear Adm. S. Hackett]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ ~~date redacted~~ by ~~name redacted~~ ]
  * Action: [ _approved_ ~~date redacted~~ by ~~name redacted~~ ]



**30 OCT 2177: Recognition of N7 Special Forces Designation** [ _filed_ ]

 **10 FEB 2178: Mission Debriefing Report (Torfan)** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 10 FEB 2178 by Maj. K. Johnson]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _rejected_ 13 FEB 2178 by Rear Adm. S. Hackett]
  * Action: [ _resubmitted_ 16 FEB 2178 by Maj. K. Johnson]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _accepted_ 16 FEB 2178 by Rear Adm. S. Hackett]



**02 MAR 2179: Record of Commissioned Officer Promotion (rank: Lieutenant)** [ _filed_ ]

 **17 SEP 2180: Letter of Admonition for Off-Duty Misconduct** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 17 SEP 2180 by Capt. C. Myers]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ 19 SEP 2180 by Adm. S. Hackett]



**19 APR 2183: Record of Commissioned Officer Promotion (rank: Lieutenant Commander)** [ _filed_ ]

 **10 JUN 2183: Recommendation for Council Spectre candidacy** [ _filed_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 10 JUN 2183 by Adm. S. Hackett]



* * *

**CANDIDATE DOSSIER #2:**

**PERSONNEL PROFILE:**

**Name:** Serafina Rose Shepard  
**Date of Birth:** 11 APR 2154 [ **Current Age:** 29]  
**Date of Enlistment:** 11 APR 2172 [ **Years of Service:** 11]  
**Service No.** 5923-AF-0165  
**Status:** Active

**  
CURRENT POSTING: **

[2182 - current] Stationed at the Alliance’s Citadel Office, reporting directly to Rear Admiral A. Kahoku. Dispatched as needed for highly classified reconnaissance and spec ops missions, specifically aiding in the investigation and pursuit of rogue military assets. Under evaluation as a Spectre candidate.

**  
MILITARY CLASSIFICATIONS: **

**Rank:** Lieutenant Commander, Navy  
**Special Designation:** N7 Special Forces  
**Class:** Infiltrator, expert marksman and tech specialist  
**Weapons/Skills/Training:** pistols, sniper rifles, decryption, systems hacking, cyberwarfare tactics, advanced survival, advanced tactical and fitness training, advanced tech ops, special reconnaissance, stealth and infiltration, SERE training  
**Notable Commendations:** Commendation Medal, Expert Marksmanship Medal, Combat Action Ribbon, Silver Star, Star of Terra, N7 designation, Navy Medal for Non-Combat Heroism, Cross of Valor, Spectre candidate

**  
SUMMATION OF PRE-SERVICE AND SERVICE HISTORY: **

Born to Alliance military personnel Thomas Shepard and Hannah Shepard in an Alliance military hospital on the Alliance’s NYC Base in 2154. Educated at Alliance institutions until enlistment at age 18. Alliance instructors reported that S. Shepard showed an early aptitude for tech/hacking skills, and she was heavily recruited for direct enlistment into the Alliance infiltrator program. Excelled in the Alliance Infiltrator Recruit Training Program, including basic combat training, weapons specialization training, zero-gravity combat certification, advanced camouflage and concealment techniques, and tactical battlefield terrain utilization training. Distinguished herself from other recruits in marksmanship and finished the Advanced Alliance Sniper Course at the top of her class. Hand-selected for specialized infiltration/reconnaissance/tech ops training and recommended for Alliance officer training.

Present on Elysium (off-duty) in 2176 during the Skyllian Blitz and played an integral role (along with Jonathan Shepard) in ensuring the survival of the colony by helping to establish and hold a fortified position through the use of reconnaissance and stealth action until the arrival of Alliance reinforcements in 2176. Awarded the Star of Terra for distinguished service in defending the colony. Recommended for Interplanetary Combatives Training in 2176. Graduated N-School with N7 designation in 2177. Assigned to accompany an Alliance marine unit sent to investigate the disappearance of a colonial research team on Akuze in 2177; the entire marine unit was killed in what was later determined to have been a thresher maw attack, and S. Shepard was determined to be the sole survivor of the incident. 

From 2178-2182, S. Shepard led various covert spec ops missions [ ~~specific operational details redacted~~ ]. In 2182, in recognition of her status as one of the Alliance’s top infiltration and reconnaissance experts, S. Shepard was reassigned to the Alliance’s Citadel Office to assist Rear Adm. Kahoku’s team with a series of highly classified, top secret spec ops missions involving the investigation, pursuit, and [ ~~redacted~~ ] of rogue military assets.

 **  
DISCIPLINARY RECORD:**

None

**MEDICAL RECORD (Major Injury):**

**15 NOV 2177: Form 5100 - Major Injury Sustained in Line of Duty Report**

  * Incident Summary: Jr. Lt. Serafina Shepard was assigned to accompany a marine unit to the colony on Akuze on 13 NOV 2177 to investigate the disappearance of a pioneer science team. Contact with Shepard and the marine unit was lost around 0300 on 14 NOV 2177. Repeated attempts to make contact with Shepard were unsuccessful, and a secondary extraction team was sent in to investigate. The shuttle arrived at the extraction point at 1115 and found Jr. Lt. Shepard unconscious with severe injuries at the landing zone. She appears to have been the only survivor. She was recovered and brought back to the SSV Perugia for medical attention. As of the time of writing, Jr. Lt. Shepard remains unconscious and unable to report on what happened to her or the marine unit on Akuze. An initial brief survey by the secondary extraction team discovered that the colony's habitation structures and temporary research facilities appeared to be intact, though the location of the science team was not clear. A secondary site where the marine unit set up a temporary camp appears to have been the scene of a large-scale attack. No obvious enemy combatants (injured or deceased) were identified in the initial sweep of the site. An Alliance recovery and investigation team has been dispatched to recover our deceased marines and make a more thorough assessment of the incident.  

    * Action: [ _submitted_ 14 NOV 2177 by Capt. R. Norelli]
  * Initial Medical Evaluation [14 NOV 2177 by Capt. M. Choa, MD]: Jr. Lt. Serafina Shepard was recovered from Akuze and brought to the SSV Perugia's med bay at around 1145 on 14 NOV 2177. The patient was unconscious at the time of recovery and the extraction team's medic documented several significant traumas, including a cerebral laceration, several broken ribs, fractures to the right radius and ulna and to the left femur, and apparent acid burns covering an area localized to the patient's right shoulder. None of the injuries appear to be caused by weapons (blades, bullets, explosives, etc). The cerebral laceration appears to be the result of a high-impact blow from an unknown source. The laceration is relatively minor and treatable, and a slight swelling of the brain is likely the cause of the patient’s prolonged unconsciousness. The possibility of lasting traumatic brain injury may become a concern the longer the patient remains unconscious. Arm and leg bone fractures have been set and splinted. The patient will require physical therapy to regain full range of motion, but full recovery is likely. The patient's acid burns are fairly severe, if localized, and of an unidentifiable source. The burns are unlike anything we've seen but resemble damage observed on a much smaller scale from insect or reptile venom. While I believe we can successfully treat the burns with sufficient applications of medigel, there will likely be scarring and a possible loss of nerve sensation in the dermis. Soon after the patient regains consciousness, I am requesting that a psych evaluation will be performed.  
  

  * Addendum [15 NOV 2177 by Capt. M. Choa, MD]: The patient has regained consciousness and continues to be monitored aboard the Perugia as we make our way back to Arcturus Station. It is still too soon to perform a mission debrief and psych evaluation, but her physical condition has improved over the past 24 hours. I am recommending 6 months mandatory medical leave to allow the patient to recover and requesting that she complete physical therapy and pass a psych eval before returning to active duty. 
    * Action: [ _submitted_ 15 NOV 2177 by Capt. M. Choa, MD]
    * Action: [Form 5150 Mandatory Recovery Leave Order (Medical) _submitted_ on 16 NOV 2177 by Capt. M. Choa, MD]



****PERSONNEL FILE NOTES:**

**11 APR 2172: Enlistment In-Processing Paperwork** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _processed_ and _approved_ 11 APR 2172 by Capt. J. Gilliard]



**01 MAY 2174: Completion of Advanced Alliance Sniper Course and Conferral of Expert Marksmanship Medal** [ _filed_ ]

 **06 MAY 2174: Recommendation for Navy Officer Development Program** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 06 MAY 2174 by Capt. A. Kahoku]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _approved_ 08 OCT 2174 by Rear Adm. W. Statkiewicz]



**18 FEB 2176: Mission Debriefing Report (Elysium)** [ _filed_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 19 FEB 2176 by Capt. S. Hackett]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _accepted_ 20 FEB 2176 by Adm. T. Gray]



**28 FEB 2176: Official Commendation and Conferral of Star of Terra** [ _filed_ ]

 **03 MAR 2176: Conferral of Officer Commission (rank: Junior Lieutenant)** [ _filed_ ]

 **10 MAR 2176: Recommendation of Candidacy for ICT** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 10 MAR 2176 by Rear Adm. S. Hackett]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ ~~date redacted~~ by ~~name redacted~~ ]
  * Action: [ _approved_ ~~date redacted~~ by ~~name redacted~~ ]



**30 OCT 2177: Recognition of N7 Special Forces Designation** [ _filed_ ]

 **14 NOV 2177: Mission Debriefing Report (Akuze)** [ _filed_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 14 NOV 2177 by Capt. R Norelli]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _accepted_ 15 NOV 2177 by Rear Adm. S. Hackett]



**15 NOV 2177: Form 5100 - Major Injury Sustained in Line of Duty Report** [ _filed_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 15 NOV 2177 by Capt. R. Norelli and Capt. M. Choa, MD]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ 16 NOV 2177 by Rear Adm. S. Hackett]



**16 NOV 2177: Form 5150 - Mandatory Recovery Leave Order (Medical)** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 16 NOV 2177 by Capt. M. Choa, MD]
  * Action: [ **6 months leave** _approved_ 17 NOV 2177 by Rear Adm. S. Hackett]



**10 MAR 2178: Form 5900a - Request Early Return to Duty (Medical)** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 10 MAR 2178 by Jr. Lt. S. Shepard]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _rejected_ 13 MAR 2178 by Rear Adm. S. Hackett]
  * Action: [ _resubmitted_ 24 MAR 2178 by Jr. Lt. S. Shepard]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _approved_ 25 MAR 2178 by Rear Adm. S. Hackett]



**24 MAR 2178: Form 5600 - Return-to-Work Readiness Psychiatric Evaluation** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 24 MAR 2178 by Capt. B. Smith, Psy D]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _approved_ 25 MAR 2178 by Rear Adm. S. Hackett]



**04 JUL 2178: Record of Commissioned Officer Promotion (rank: Lieutenant)** [ _filed_ ]

 **23 DEC 2182: Record of Commissioned Officer Promotion (rank: Lieutenant Commander)** [ _filed_ ]

 **10 JUN 2183: Recommendation for Council Spectre candidacy** [ _filed_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 10 JUN 2183 by Adm. S. Hackett]



* * *

**BACKGROUND DOSSIER #1:**

**PERSONNEL PROFILE:**

**Name:** Thomas Alan Shepard  
**Date of Birth:** 06 APR 2133 [ **Current Age** **:** n/a]  
**Date of Enlistment:** 17 JUN 2151 [ **Years of Service:** 19]  
**Service No.** 2702-AC-4902  
**Status:** _Killed in Action_

 **  
CURRENT POSTING:**

n/a

**  
MILITARY CLASSIFICATIONS: **

**Rank:** Junior Lieutenant, Navy  
**Special Designation:** None  
**Class:** Soldier, infantry  
**Weapons/Skills Training:** pistols, assault rifles  
**Notable Commendations:** Legion of Merit, Star of Sacrifice

**  
SUMMATION OF PRE-SERVICE AND SERVICE HISTORY:**

Enlistment at age 18, London Base. Notable postings include the SSV Iwo Jima (2158-2162), the SSV Geneva (2164-2165), and the SSV Einstein (2166-2170). Killed in action during Alliance attempted defense of Mindoir Colony from a batarian slaver attack in 2170 and posthumously awarded the Legion of Merit and the Star of Sacrifice.

  
**DISCIPLINARY RECORD:**

None

 **  
**PERSONNEL FILE NOTES: **

**17 JUN 2151: Enlistment In-Processing Paperwork** [ _received_ ]

 **12 MAR 2153: Form 3350b - Military Personnel Marriage Dispensation Request** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _approved_ 17 MAR 2153 by Adm. J. Hawkins]



**25 APR 2153: Marriage Certificate for Thomas Alan Shepard and Hannah Marie Dawson** [ _filed_ ]

 **10 APR 2154: Form 5550 - Parental/Child Leave** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _reviewed_ 11 APR 1254 by Maj. P. Livanos]
  * Action: [ **6 months leave** _approved_ 15 APR 2154 by Capt. G. Gerard]



**11 APR 2154: Jonathan Thomas Shepard Certificate of Live Birth** [ _filed_ ]

 **11 APR 2154: Serafina Rose Shepard Certificate of Live Birth** [ _filed_ ]

 **13 APR 2154: Form 3360 - Declaration of Dependent** [ _filed_ ]

 **13 APR 2154: Form 3360 - Declaration of Dependent** [ _filed_ ]

 **10 DEC 2162: Conferral of Officer Commission (rank: Ensign)** [ _filed_ ]

 **04 APR 2166: Record of Commissioned Officer Promotion (rank: Junior Lieutenant)** [ _filed_ ]

 **16 SEP 2170: Mission Debriefing Report (Mindoir)** [ _filed_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 16 NOV 2170 by Capt. T. Gray]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _accepted_ 17 SEP 2170 by Rear Adm. N. Singh]



**16 SEP 2170: Form 8400 - Record of Active Military Death** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 16 SEP 2170 by Capt. T. Gray]
  * action: [ _reviewed_ and _accepted_ 16 SEP 2170 by Rear Adm. N. Singh]



* * *

**BACKGROUND DOSSIER #2:**

**PERSONNEL PROFILE:**

**Name:** Hannah Marie Shepard (née Dawson)  
**Date of Birth:** 01 July 2132 [ **Current Age:** 50]  
**Date of Enlistment:** 22 July 2150 [ **Years of Service:** 32]  
**Service No.** 4301-AG-3930  
**Status:** Active

**  
CURRENT POSTING: **

[2180 - current] Assigned to SSV Kilimanjaro, serving as XO under Captain Ines Lindholm.

**  
MILITARY CLASSIFICATIONS: **

**Rank:** Commander, Navy  
**Designation:** None  
**Class:** Engineer, light combat and tech specialist  
**Weapons/Skills Training:** pistols, submachine guns, decryption, cyberwarfare  
**Notable Commendations:** Commendation Medal, Meritorious Service Medal

**  
SUMMATION OF PRE-SERVICE AND SERVICE HISTORY: **

Enlistment at age 18, NYC Base. Recruitment and training in Alliance Engineer program. Notable postings include the SSV Geneva (2162-2164), SSV Hastings (2164-2166), SSV Einstein (2169-2170), and SSV Tokyo (2172-2177). Stationed on Arcturus, serving under Adm. S. Hackett between 2178-2180. Promoted to Commander in 2180 and assigned to serve as XO and technical expert aboard the SSV Kilimanjaro.

**  
**PERSONNEL FILE NOTES:**

**22 JUL 2150: Enlistment In-Processing Paperwork** [ _received_ ]

 **12 MAR 2153: Form 3350b - Military Personnel Marriage Dispensation Request** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _approved_ 17 MAR 2153 by Capt. J. Hawkins]



**25 APR 2153: Marriage Certificate for Thomas Alan Shepard and Hannah Marie Dawson** [ _filed_ ]

 **27 MAR 2154: Form 5300 - Maternity/Child Leave (12 mo.)** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 27 MAR 1254 by Capt. D. Mutter, Ob/Gyn]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _approved_ 28 MAR by Cmdr. R. Mayernick]



**11 APR 2154: Jonathan Thomas Shepard Certificate of Live Birth** [ _filed_ ]

 **11 APR 2154: Serafina Rose Shepard Certificate of Live Birth** [ _filed_ ]

 **13 APR 2154: Form 3360 - Declaration of Dependent** [ _filed_ ]

 **13 APR 2154: Form 3360 - Declaration of Dependent** [ _filed_ ]

 **31 OCT 2160: Conferral of Officer Commission (rank: Ensign)** [ _filed_ ]

 **10 JAN 2165: Record of Commissioned Officer Promotion (rank: Junior Lieutenant)** [ _filed_ ]

 **16 SEP 2170: Mission Debriefing Report (Mindoir)** [ _filed_ ]

  * Action: [ _submitted_ 16 NOV 2170 by Capt. T. Gray]
  * Action: [ _reviewed_ and _accepted_ 17 SEP 2170 by Rear Adm. N. Singh]



**19 SEP 2170: Form 5675 - Temporary Leave Request (Psych)** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _reviewed_ 20 SEP 2170 by Lt. C. Rojas, PsyD]
  * Action: [ **4 months leave** _approved_ 22 SEP 2170 by Rear Adm. N. Singh]



**09 AUG 2173: Record of Commissioned Officer Promotion (rank: Lieutenant)** [ _filed_ ]

 **15 NOV 2177: Form 5520-1a - Temporary Family Leave Request** [ _received_ ]

  * Action: [ _reviewed_ 16 NOV 2177 by Capt. J. Anderson]
  * Action: [2 months family leave _approved_ 17 NOV 2177 by Rear Adm. S. Hackett]



**23 FEB 2178: Record of Commissioned Officer Promotion (rank: Lieutenant Commander)** [ _filed_ ]

 **10 SEP 2180: Record of Commissioned Officer Promotion (rank: Commander)** [ _filed_ ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please forgive anything that doesn’t make sense on these faux military dossiers. I know extremely little about the actual military and certainly even less about the inner-workings of this fictional future military, though I did make some attempts at research while putting this together. If I included something on a dossier and it seems out of place, just assume it's probably there because I wanted to highlight something or provide a particular background tidbit. Just roll with it :)


	2. The Shepard Twins Against the Galaxy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the narrative actually begins. There will be no chapter summaries going forward other than perhaps prologues/epilogues.

“The mission went well, Commander. Your admiral will be pleased,” Spectre Kryik said somewhat dryly. Though his words were indeed praise, Sera thought his flanging tone could’ve sounded a bit more... friendly? Pleasant? He had accompanied her on her past two missions, spent weeks on a ship with her, and yet he sounded almost… bored.

Sera crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned against the side of Kahoku’s desk before responding. “‘My admiral’ would probably be more pleased if we had managed to bring Banes in alive, Spectre. That _was_ our primary objective, after all,” she huffed. 

Sera hated feeling like she had failed any part of a mission, even when the mission’s outcome had ultimately been beyond her control. Their intel had been vague, only suggesting that Dr. Banes could be found somewhere in Artemis Tau’s Sparta System. When Sera and the small marine unit she’d been assigned had arrived, she had been forced to do her own recon throughout the system and track down the ship, which they’d eventually, after much searching, discovered orbiting one of Ontamalca’s hundreds of moons. Dr. Banes had been long dead when they’d managed to board the derelict vessel where they’d found his corpse. There wasn’t anything they could’ve done to bring him in alive, save acquiring their lead on his location much sooner than they had.

“Actually,” he said seriously, leaning down so that he could look her in the eye, a difficult task since Sera was about 40 centimeters shorter than he was, “I read the same mission specs you did, and your primary objective was to _recover_ Banes. Which you did.” Sera narrowed her eyes as she studied the Spectre carefully. Before she could respond, he added, “And please, Commander, call me Nihlus.”

His mandibles flared subtly as they looked at each other, both of them seemingly sizing the other up. Sera wished, not for the first time, that she were better at reading turian body language and subvocals—she felt distinctly at a disadvantage with Nihlus because of it. She wasn’t sure what angle Nihlus was working—had _been_ working—ever since Kahoku told her that he would be joining her on her last two missions. Nihlus hadn’t done much other than ‘tag along.’ He had acted as more of an observer than a participant most of the time, only chiming in here and there when she’d explicitly asked him for his opinion. He was the real Spectre deal, of course—he had more than held his own during a short firefight when he’d accompanied her on a foray down to an asteroid in Sparta’s belt to recover a data cache that turned out to be Prothean in origin. Overall, though, she wasn’t really sure what he had been doing there. But when a Rear Admiral tells you a Council Spectre is going to accompany you on a mission or two, you don’t argue.

She was about to say something about calling her Shepard instead of Commander when the office door behind them suddenly swung open. Neither Sera nor Nihlus started in surprise, trained soldiers as they were, but Sera let her eyes dart away from Nihlus’s face to see who was entering and Nihlus straightened back to his full height. When Sera confirmed that the figure entering the room was indeed her commanding officer, she quickly turned to face him, throwing her arm up in a crisp salute.

“Admiral Kahoku, sir,” she said. She could see Nihlus out of the corner of her eye, and she almost thought she could detect a smirk, or whatever the turian equivalent was, on his face. Smug bastard.

“At ease, Shepard,” Kahoku said. Then he nodded at the Spectre. “Good to see you, Nihlus.”

“Likewise, Akamai,” Nihlus replied, dipping his head in a polite greeting. Sera was intrigued to learn that the two seemed to know each other well enough to be on a first name basis, though Kahoku had been stationed at the Alliance’s Citadel Office for a few years now, so it wasn’t unreasonable to think he’d come in contact with a few Council Spectres during that time.

Sera turned to face Kahoku, who had moved past them to stand behind his desk. She clasped her hands behind her back, standing in a resting military pose as she waited for the admiral to begin the mission debrief. She had been working with Kahoku for about seven months, and she had done enough of these debriefs by now that she knew just how this debriefing was going to go.

“I think it’s time we filled Commander Shepard in on what’s going on here. Don’t you, Nihlus?” Kahoku said finally, gesturing for Nihlus to speak. Sera’s eyebrows shot up as she failed to hide her surprise. Admiral Kahoku apparently withholding information from her and now turning the debriefing over to Nihlus was definitely _not_ how she had expected this debrief to go. She turned and looked at Nihlus expectantly.

“Of course, Admiral,” he began. “Commander, you have probably been wondering why a Council Spectre was tagging along on your last couple of missions.” Sera briefly wondered if turians could read minds, though she knew, of course, that they could not.

“It might have crossed my mind,” she allowed. “I didn’t see the obvious investment the Council had in the outcome of these particular missions, but I also trusted that if Admiral Kahoku hadn’t briefed me on it, there must have been a reason and he would inform me when it was time for me to know.” 

“I can see you have a healthy respect for the chain of command,” Nihlus said. “But by observing you over the past month, I have also seen that you have a great capacity for independent and critical thinking, strategic operational design, and adaptability in the field. I see why the Alliance trusts you to handle some of its most sensitive spec ops missions.”

Sera couldn’t help but feel a flush of pleasure at the Spectre’s compliments. She was a generally modest person, and it was one thing to believe in your own mind that you were good at your job; it was another thing altogether to hear your praises from the mouth of one of the Council’s most talented Spectres.

“Thank you, Spe—er, Nihlus,” she said, catching herself at the last second. His mandibles twitched, and she thought he was barely holding back a grin. She barely held back an eye roll.

“It’s just the truth, Commander,” he continued. “I speak not to flatter but to evaluate.” Nihlus clasped his own hands behind his back, mirroring Sera’s pose. “I am here to observe and evaluate you for possible induction as a Council Spectre.”

There was a long pause as Nihlus’s words sunk in. “A Spectre? M—Me?” Still reeling at the revelation, Sera could only look to her commanding officer for confirmation.

Kahoku chuckled. “Yes, Shepard. The Council has agreed to consider two humans for induction into the Spectres, and you were selected to be one of those candidates. Nihlus has been assigned to evaluate the two candidates and make his recommendation to the Council.

“Not that I’m ungrateful, sir, but why me? Surely there are older, more—”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Commander,” Nihlus interrupted, drawing her attention once again. “I’ve seen your dossier, and your record is exemplary. I’ve also seen you in action, and you are immensely capable. Your sibling may have claimed slightly more of the glory for his more visible role at Elysium, but I know better than most how important your recon and stealth work was in ensuring the successful defense of that colony. And not many could have survived what you went through on Akuze. You have shown a remarkable will to survive—a particularly useful talent for a Spectre.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest in a pose that seemed to dare her—or anyone—to argue with his assessment.

“You honor me,” she admitted, flattered by his words. “So what does this mean? What happens next?” She wasn’t sure to whom she was directing her question, but it was the Spectre who answered.

“You are one of two candidates being considered,” Nihlus explained, giving the turian equivalent of a one-shouldered shrug. “I will file my evaluation of you with the Council this evening. Then I am heading out tomorrow to accompany the second candidate on several missions and file another evaluation upon my return. You will be informed of the Council’s decision after that.”

He turned to Kahoku, dipping his head again, this time in farewell. “Thank you for allowing me to accompany your commander on these missions, Admiral. It was… enlightening.” Kahoku nodded his head in return.

Nihlus then uncrossed his arms and reached out a taloned hand toward Sera. “It was a pleasure working with you, Commander Shepard,” he said as she clasped his forearm. “I hope our paths cross again soon.”

“Likewise,” she agreed, wincing inwardly as she immediately realized she was repeating exactly what Nihlus had said to Kahoku earlier. She could have sworn he winked at her before he released her arm and walked out of the room.

Sera felt her whole body abuzz with excitement. _She_ was being considered for the Spectres? It was a tremendous honor. Wait until she told her mother. And John! He would freak—

“Commander, consider news of your Spectre candidacy privileged information for the time being. It needs to remain classified until the Council makes its final determination.” It seemed Kahoku could read minds as well. “Think of it like N-School,” he continued, looking at her thoughtfully. “You only get to brag about it if you successfully make it out the other side.”

“Of course, sir,” she replied, tamping down her excitement.

His expression softened, and he held out his hand for hers. Surprised, she reached out and took it. “You _should_ be proud, though. It’s a great honor even to have been considered, Sera,” he said as they shook hands. If she had been surprised before, it didn’t compare to how she felt hearing him use her first name. It was as if he were declaring her his equal in status, if not in rank.

“I am, sir,” she said. “Proud, that is. Thank you.”

“Alright then,” he said, clearing his throat as he shifted back into a more professional mode. “As for your most recent mission to the Sparta System to recover Dr. Banes, I read through the mission report you filed, and while obviously I had hoped for a more positive outcome regarding our Alliance asset, I am pleased with the intel you did manage to recover. For now, I am releasing you for a short period of shore leave while Intelligence combs through the details in your report. Report back in 72 hours and we’ll begin discussing plans for your next mission. Keep an eye on your messages.”

“Yes, sir.” Sera saluted once again, and Kahoku dismissed her with a wave of his hand. She turned and walked out of the Admiral’s office with a spring in her step.  
  


*****  
  


Sera was slightly disappointed that she couldn’t share her news with her brother right away, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy herself going out with him tonight. They hadn’t seen each other in person in about nine months, and since John was shipping out on his new posting aboard the SSV Normandy tomorrow, they’d agreed to meet up tonight at 2000 hours. After Kahoku had dismissed her, she’d had enough time to head back to her small apartment in the Zakera Ward’s mid-district, grab a quick shower and a bite to eat, then change before heading back out to meet her brother at Flux.

Officially released for three days of leave and heading out to a nightclub, Sera had decided to dress more casually than she typically would. Alliance soldiers, especially recognizable ones like Sera and her brother, were always ‘on the clock’ insofar as they were always acting as representatives of the Alliance and of humanity, so she tended to wear an Alliance-issued crew uniform around the Citadel most days, even when technically off-duty.

Tonight, however, she wore a black sleeveless top and a red midi skirt with a slit that extended up to her mid-thigh. She had deliberated about whether or not to go with something sleeveless—she wasn’t embarrassed about the scarred skin on her right shoulder, exactly, but she was a little self-conscious about it. But since she was just meeting with John, who knew more about what she had gone through at Akuze than probably anyone except maybe their mother, she figured why the hell not. Complete with a pair of strappy heels and a stylish, messy up-do that took a little more effort than her usual tight, military-style bun, Sera thought she looked appropriately dressed for a celebratory night out, even if no one besides her would really know she was celebrating anything.

As she made her way from the skycar transit stop toward Flux, Sera surveyed the people around her, ever wary of her surroundings. She could never fully turn off her recon training and tendencies, even when not on an official mission. The crowd consisted of humans, mostly, though there were a few turians and asari here and there. Most of the C-Sec officers scattered about were turians. Emily Wong, that investigative reporter from FCC News, was hovering on the edge of the crowd, and Sera was grateful that her small stature and casual clothing choice tonight was helping her blend into the crowd more easily. The last thing she needed was to be caught by a nosy journalist looking for a soundbite from one of the Heroes of Elysium. She hoped John had been able to sneak past without catching her notice, though she almost broke into a grin imagining how John might’ve reacted to being waylaid by a reporter for an off-the-cuff interview.

Sera nodded at a C-Sec officer she knew as she turned down the corridor toward the staircase leading up to Flux. She wasn’t running late, but John had arrived on the Citadel earlier that morning whereas she’d only gotten in later in the afternoon, so she figured he’d already be waiting for her at the club. Hopefully he hadn’t started drinking too early in the evening. She wanted to be able to enjoy his company for a few hours since they hadn’t seen each other in a while.

Hurrying up the stairs, Sera entered the club after letting the bouncer scan her omni-tool. She scanned the crowded lower level, hoping John had managed to snag them a table before the club had gotten too busy. Just as she was thinking about heading up to the mezzanine to look for him there, she spotted John waving at her from the far side of the bar area, holding up a bottle of something to try and get her attention. She smiled widely and waved back, then pushed her way through the crowd and made her way over to the high table where he was sitting on one of two stools.

When she approached, he stood and greeted her, embracing her in a brief hug.

“It’s so great to see you, John,” Sera said warmly, releasing John to lean back and get a good look at him. They weren’t young anymore, almost thirty years old now, but she had to admit that John looked good: well-rested, healthy, and strong. It made her happy to see. She worried about him when they weren’t together. “You look good,” she told him plainly.

“Ha, well you look pretty good yourself, Sis,” he said, raising an eyebrow at her outfit. She rolled her eyes as she slid onto the bar stool opposite the one John had been sitting on. “What’s with the sexy getup? You should know that I’m flattered, but I’m not interested,” he said wryly, his lips quirking into a small smile.

“Shut up!” she said, reaching over and punching him in the bicep. He rubbed at his arm, wincing in mock pain as he laughed at her.

“Alright, fine,” he said, holding out a beer for her in apology. When she reached for it, he pulled it back slightly, holding it just out of her reach. “Seriously, though, what’s the occasion?”

She scoffed and lunged forward a little, quickly snatching the bottle from him before he could react and pull it away. She unscrewed the top and took a drink, giving herself a moment to consider how to reply. Of course he was suspicious of her outfit choice. She should’ve anticipated he was going to question her about it.

Sera decided she’d rather not lie to her twin, so she gave John the finger instead. He held up his hands in surrender, chuckling, and Sera was grateful he was going to let the matter drop for now.

They chatted for a while, things settling into place easily between them as they always did even after they’d been apart for months and months. Though she and John had enlisted together—well, one day apart—their diverging military careers had separated them more than it brought them together over the years. Sera had been working out of Kahoku’s Citadel office for about seven months now, and John had only been on the Citadel twice during all that time—and both times occurred when she had been off-station on missions. This was their first time together on the Citadel, and their time only overlapped for less than 24 hours.

“I’m glad you could make some time for me before I ship out tomorrow,” John said a little later during a lull in their catching up, drawing Sera out of her thoughts by kicking her playfully underneath the table.

“Oww!” she exclaimed, grinning as she aimed a swift kick with her heeled foot at John’s shin. He twisted on his stool, and she just managed to graze his leg. “You’re lucky my mission debrief wrapped up when it did,” Sera replied with a sigh, taking a final swig from her nearly empty bottle and setting it on the edge of their table. “Kahoku can be a pain in the ass when it comes to mission debriefs. I was afraid he might try to keep me there all night.”

“You were gone for almost a month, you said? Must’ve been an important mission,” John said nonchalantly, keeping pace with Sera and finishing off his own bottle. He picked at the label absently for a moment, then slid his empty bottle next to hers. “How come your debrief went quicker than you expected?”

Sera leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. John was fishing for details, though he knew that her work was all classified and she couldn’t share anything with him. Of course he didn’t know she was also hiding bigger Spectre-related news.

“You know I can’t talk about my missions with you, John.” He gave her a slightly disappointed look, so she continued, “I would tell you about it if I could. You _know_ that.”

“Yeah,” he said after a long pause, “I know you would.”

Sera felt a slight pang of guilt. She and John had never really been in competition with each other, even though they had both followed career paths with the military. She was proud to have fought at Elysium by his side, and she didn’t even mind much that he had won a little more glory for his flashier defense of the colony than she had for her covert actions; both she and John knew that neither of them probably would have survived Elysium if they hadn’t happened to have been there on shore leave together. And though they hadn’t usually been promoted at precisely the same time, they had generally progressed through the ranks at a similar pace—they were even both currently lieutenant commanders. But if Sera were selected to be the first human to join the Spectres? That... was a big deal. She was certain John would be happy for her as they had never had any sort of rivalry between them, but she thought he might be a little put out by the news, as well—not because she’d been chosen, but because he hadn’t. He’d be disappointed in himself.

“Can I bring you two another round?” came a sweet-sounding voice, breaking the slightly awkward silence that had descended over their table. Sera glanced up and saw an asari waitress reaching to clear away their empties.

“Yeah, two more of those, please,” Sera said, gesturing at the beer bottles.

“Can you also bring us two shots of something strong?” John asked, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’d like to get my sister here drunk,” he added.

“Sure thing,” the waitress said with a pleasant laugh. As the asari walked away, Sera narrowed her eyes at John.

“Why do you want to get me drunk?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“You never have any fun, Sera. Live a little,” he said, gesturing vaguely at the crowded bar around them.

“Yeah, well, maybe you have _too_ much fun,” she said, giving him a knowing look. She could think of at least a couple of times when he’d had too much to drink and gotten himself into some trouble.

He shrugged, then slipped off of his stool. “I’ll be right back. Think you’ll survive without me for a few minutes?” he teased.

“I think I’ll manage,” Sera replied, rolling her eyes at him. Left by herself, Sera took a moment to look around the club. She had a clear view of the bar from where she sat, and she noticed a small group of Alliance soldiers gathered near the bar. She didn’t recognize any of them, though that didn’t surprise her in the least. She had spent most of the past few years working solo or with small units of marines she was temporarily assigned to, so her military contacts were fairly narrow in scope. Sera thought, not for the first time, that though she liked her spec ops work with Kahoku and the infiltrator career path she had chosen, it meant she lived a fairly solitary life. Here she was, almost thirty years old, and she hadn’t been in a serious relationship yet. She couldn’t even remember exactly the last time she’d even been on a proper date. She sighed and looked down at her hands, picking absently at a fingernail.

“Excuse me?”

Sera jerked her head up in surprise, startled to find a young Alliance soldier standing beside her. He flinched away at her sudden movement, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw the group of soldiers by the bar burst into laughter.

“I’m so sorry,” she said apologetically to the young man. “I was lost in my own thoughts. You startled me, is all.” She smiled at him, trying to be polite. Sera wasn’t recognized as often as John was for her role in saving Elysium, but the Alliance had used their images on enough recruitment posters over the years since that she was recognized from time to time. She honestly hated it, but she tried not to take out her discomfort on strangers who were usually just trying to thank her for her service. “Can I help you?”

“Uh, my friend over there by the bar—” Sera glanced over in the direction the young man was pointing, “wants to buy you a drink.” She noticed that while three of the soldiers were still keeled over, laughing, the fourth had turned beet red and was trying to hide his face by taking a drink of beer.

The man looked to be about her age and had short, black hair, a strong jawline, and a ghost of stubble along his jaw. He lowered his drink and chanced a look in her direction, their eyes meeting briefly. She could see even from this distance that they were a warm honey brown color, and she wasn’t sure what exactly made her think so, but she thought that she saw kindness there. She couldn’t help but smile as he held her gaze, and she felt a warmth flutter in her chest when he smiled back.

Suddenly, one of the other soldiers, a youthful-looking man wearing a baseball cap and a scruffier beard than the Alliance typically allowed, clasped the man on his shoulder and leaned in to whisper something in his ear. He looked away from her and turned toward his friend, a mortified expression blooming on his face as his friend burst into laughter.

Sera turned her attention back to the young man who had approached her. “Um, tell your friend that I’m flattered, but I’m already here with someone,” she said regretfully, gesturing at the empty stool across from her. Of course, it was highly unlikely she’d ever cross paths with this random Alliance soldier again—not that she should be fraternizing with a fellow soldier anyway. And that was a shame because, she had to admit, the man was attractive as hell and she _had_ just been lamenting her lack of a personal life.

The waitress returned with beers and shots right then, and she peered curiously at Sera as she set the drinks down on the table. She nodded at Sera, a slight smirk on her lips, then left them alone.

“Alright, thanks anyway,” the soldier said, giving her a small smile before turning to leave. Sera felt a sudden urge to reach out and grab him, to give him her contact info to pass along to the cute soldier at the bar. But she knew she probably shouldn’t, so she let him go.

“Please tell him I’m sorry. Really,” she called after the young man just as he started to walk away. He glanced over his shoulder back at her.

“I will,” he assured her, then walked back toward the group at the bar.

Sera picked up one of the beer bottles and could hear the soldiers greet the young man with jeers and laughter as she opened it and took a sip. “What’d she say, Jenkins?” the one with the baseball cap asked loudly as he returned, but his reply and the rest of their conversation was drowned out by the noise of the club.

She didn’t have to wait much longer until John returned, slipping onto his barstool and reaching for the shot glasses, sliding one in front of each of them. He opened his mouth to say something, then frowned at her when he noticed she was staring in the direction of the bar.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, glancing in the direction she was looking. He probably noted the group of Alliance soldiers, but if he recognized any of them, he didn’t say anything.

Sera answered quickly, looking away from the bar and focusing her attention on John. “Nothing’s wrong. One of those guys wanted to buy me a drink is all,” she muttered.

John’s expression brightened with interest, and he turned more fully to look at the group by the bar. “Why the hell are you still sitting here with me then?” he asked as he watched the soldiers. Sera figured he was probably trying to guess which one had been the one to hit on her. Luckily, they seemed engrossed enough in their own drinks and conversation that they didn’t notice Sera and John openly staring at them.

“John,” she hissed, trying to draw his attention before they were spotted.

“What?” he asked, feigning innocence as he turned back toward her. “When’s the last time you went on a date, anyway? You should go over there. I don’t mind.”

“I’m sure he wasn’t that interested in me anyway. You just left me alone. I must have looked bored without you here,” she said dryly.

“Of course you did. I’m way more exciting than you are,” John replied, winking at her. She rolled her eyes at him. She did that a lot.

“Shut up,” she said, grabbing her drink and holding it up, examining it closely. “What do you think this is?” she asked.

“Hell if I know,” John replied, picking up his own shot. “I just hope it’s strong.”

Sera held up the glass as if making a formal toast. “To you and your exciting new post on the Normandy,” she said, gesturing at John carefully so as to not slosh any of the alcohol out of the shot glass.

He imitated her, holding up his own glass. “To us—the Shepard twins against the galaxy.”

“The way it should be,” she replied automatically. They threw back their shots simultaneously and slammed the empty glasses upside down on the table. Sera couldn’t help but wince as the alcohol burned down her throat. “Oof, that stuff _was_ strong. You got your wish.”

“Yeah, yeah. It was _alright_ ,” he said with a grin. Sera just shook her head and reached for her beer.

They spent the next couple of hours drinking a few more beers apiece and reminiscing. Each knew the other well enough to avoid certain topics—things that random strangers seemed to like to bring up without considering that they might not be happy topics to just spring on someone: Mindoir, Akuze, and Torfan, to name a few. Sera didn’t even like talking about Elysium much if she could help it, but being known throughout the Alliance as one of the Heroes of Elysium meant she was forced to talk about it more than she’d like. Though not with John, thankfully.

Sera suddenly remembered one thing she did need to bring up with John, even though she knew this _was_ one of those topics he would likely rather avoid.

“So... have you talked to Mom lately?” she asked casually before taking a sip of beer. It was her fourth bottle and definitely her last one. She had been sipping at it slowly for the past half hour.

John reacted predictably, his expression suddenly hardening in response to her question.

“I’m guessing you already know the answer to that, if you’re asking,” he said shortly, taking a swig of his own beer, his fifth or sixth, Sera wasn’t quite sure. But he was the one who had to report for duty tomorrow, so she had better try to wrap up their night sooner than later. Before he got... carried away.

“Mom might have mentioned to me that you hadn’t been returning her calls,” Sera replied cautiously. “She just worries about you, you know.”

“I talk to you, don’t I?” he asked, his tone cold. Sera frowned. She knew John and her mother had grown distant these past few years in particular, but it seemed like things were worse than she had realized.

“Yeah, you do,” she said. “And you better not stop, either. You know I’d be able to track you down anywhere if you do.”

He glanced at her, unable to keep a small smirk from his lips. “Even when I’m aboard the Alliance’s newest stealth-class frigate?”

“Oh, definitely,” Sera said, grinning back at him. “I have access to vast Intelligence resources. And I’m good at what I do,” she added with a shrug.

John barked out a laugh. “Well, you don’t have to worry. I’ll always talk to you.”

Sera reached over and took John’s hand in hers. “Good,” she said, squeezing his hand.

He squeezed back, then released her hand, sighing. “Fine. I’ll call her, okay?”

“Okay,” Sera said, finishing off the last few gulps of her beer. “Maybe call her soon, though, yeah? I get tired of her pestering me for updates about you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” John finished his own beer, then glanced at his omni-tool and groaned. “Shit, it’s late. I have to report for duty at 0700.”

Sera slipped off her barstool and straightened, reaching for John’s hand to pull him off his stool. “Come on then. Let’s get you to a transit.” As John got to his own feet, Sera looped her arm through his, leaning against his shoulder as they walked through the club. They stopped for a moment at the bar to pay their tab, then headed out toward the market area, walking arm-in-arm for the nearest transit stop.

When they reached the stop, Sera wrapped her arms around her brother in a hug. “Can you make it back to your room alright?” she asked. “You could always sleep on the pull-out couch at my apartment instead of at the Alliance dorms. I know what they’re like—even the officers’ rooms."

“I don’t want to put you out. I’ll be fine,” he replied, squeezing her and leaning backward so he could lift her feet off the ground the way he used to do when they were younger.

“Okay! Fine, just put me down!” she squealed with laughter, perhaps a little too loudly for how late it was. She was admittedly feeling slightly inebriated. He lowered her to the ground and stepped back from her, grinning as he ran a hand over his buzzed head and turned toward the sound of an approaching skycar.

“You’re going to see me off in the morning?” he asked, pulling up his omni-tool to pay the driver.

“Yep. You said 0700, right? Which dock was it again?”

“Dock 422. It’s near the C-Sec offices,” he answered as he stepped toward his ride. “I’ll see you in the morning, then.”

“Night, John,” Sera said.

“Good night.” John waved, then disappeared into the skycar.

Sera waited until the taxi had disappeared from sight, then stifled a yawn and turned to walk the few hundred meters to the transit station on the other side of the corridor, where she could hail a skycar back to her own apartment. The night had been an overall pleasant one, and Sera was glad she’d been able to spend at least a little time with John before their paths diverged once again into an uncertain future.  
  


*****  
  


Sera had to admit that the SSV Normandy was a beautiful ship. Admiral Kahoku had told her a little bit about it when she’d mentioned that her brother was going to be joining the crew for its shakedown run. The Normandy SR-1 was a prototype scout frigate of human and turian design, equipped with state-of-the-art stealth technology. She liked her work with Kahoku, but she’d be tempted to give it up for a chance to fly this stunning ship around the galaxy. A ship like that would sure would make some of her recon missions easier.

She glanced at the chron on her omni-tool and saw that John only had about 15 minutes before he was officially late reporting for duty. Maybe she could take his place if he didn’t show up, she thought jokingly, then immediately regretted it, frowning slightly. Perhaps there was a reason he was running late. What if he hadn’t made it back to his room last night? What if he was still sleeping off the effects of last night’s alcoholic overindulgence? John was a grown man, an Alliance officer and an N7 soldier, so she resisted the temptation to immediately message his omni-tool to find out where he was, deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt. For now. If he didn’t show in the next 10 minutes, though, she may be forced to take drastic measures.

For now, Sera just crossed her arms and leaned against the wall near the elevator while she waited for John to arrive. She watched as the dock crew finished stocking the Normandy with various crates full of provisions and likely the crew’s armor, gear, and weapons. Several Alliance soldiers who she guessed to be members of the Normandy’s crew—they had bulky duffle bags slung over their shoulders or lying at their feet—stood gathered on the dock near the Normandy’s boarding platform. Though their backs were to her, she could tell that John wasn’t among them, and she huffed impatiently as she pulled up her chron again. Five more minutes and she’d call him. If he got mad, she’d claim it was her sisterly prerogative.

Suddenly, Sera noticed the Normandy’s crew members’ casual stances shift to professional military poses as they threw their arms up in identical salutes. A high-ranking officer disembarked the Normandy and approached the group. Even from this distance, Sera recognized the man, though she had never met him. Captain David Anderson. Their mother had served with him for six years or so on the SSV Tokyo back in the 70s; he had been her CO until her mother had left the Tokyo to be with Sera while she recovered after Akuze. Not only that, Anderson was a legend within the Alliance. He was the first N7 soldier ever, and Sera had idolized him and studied his accomplishments back in N-School. He seemed to be giving the crew some instructions, but he paused when he glanced in her direction. Shit. Had he noticed her? Maybe she wasn’t supposed to be here?

Sera was suddenly very glad she’d decided to throw on an Alliance uniform before heading out this morning instead of wearing a pair of jeans and her favorite N7 hoodie, which is what she would be wearing around her apartment when she got home. Anderson was heading in her direction, and she could see the crew he’d left behind looking at her curiously.

As he approached, Sera straightened, giving the captain a crisp salute. “Captain Anderson,” she said.

“At ease, Shepard,” he replied. Shit, he knew who she was. Her mind was buzzing at the implication.

She relaxed only slightly, clasping her hands behind her back. He gave her a bemused look.

“I said, ‘at ease,’” he repeated, holding out his hand to her in greeting. She raised her eyebrows slightly, but she reached out and took his hand in hers, shaking it. She sure was shaking a lot of superior officers’ hands these days. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sera. I’ve heard a lot about you. I know your mother well,” he said.

“The pleasure’s all mine, sir,” she replied, trying to hide her nervous excitement. It wasn’t every day you got to meet one of your idols, and it was an even rarer occasion for that idol to know who you were. “It’s an honor to meet you.”

“You know, you aren’t the Commander Shepard I was expecting to meet me here this morning,” he said wryly. Sera crossed her arms over her chest.

“Uh, yes. About that. I’m sure my brother will be here momentarily,” she said, trying to cover for John and secretly thinking she was going to have to kill him later for putting her in this awkward position with the captain.

“Oh, I’m sure he will. I sent him a message earlier this morning asking him to pick up a guest in the embassy and escort them here.” Well that explained why John was running late, at least. He could have shown Sera the courtesy of messaging her so she didn’t worry, but she could give him a hard time about that later. “Actually it looks like they’re here now,” Anderson said, winking at her as he turned to greet a pair of figures stepping off of the elevator.

Sera was unable to follow Anderson for a moment, frozen in shock. Did Anderson— _the_ Captain David Anderson—just _wink_ at her? Why was everyone winking at her lately? What in the galaxy was going on?

She turned to greet her brother, when she had a second shock in the span of a few seconds: the tall figure standing next to John, the ‘guest’ he had apparently been sent to escort, was someone Sera recognized.

“Ah, Commander Shepard. Good morning. Nice to see you again,” came a familiar flanging voice. The Spectre’s eyes twinkled mischievously and his mandibles twitched in a manner that Sera distinctly interpreted to be the turian version of a shit-eating grin. That sneaky bastard knew he was going to see her today when he had left her yesterday evening.

“Good morning, Nihlus,” she replied, trying to hide her confusion while at least having enough of her wits about her to remember that he had asked her to call him Nihlus during their previous meeting. What was Nihlus even doing here? She thought he was supposed to be heading out to evaluate the other Spectre candidate... Wait. No, it couldn’t be… Could it?

Sera glanced quickly at John who was looking at her with a surprised expression of his own. He was obviously caught unaware by the fact that she and Nihlus apparently seemed to know each other, and it was clear that he knew even less about what was going on here than she did. If there were any moment she had ever wished for twin telepathy to be a real thing, she couldn’t think of one.

Anderson cleared his throat, immediately drawing John and Sera’s attention. “Well, now that Nihlus and the commander have arrived, let’s get moving, shall we? Commander Shepard,” he said, nodding his head in Sera’s direction. By now, Sera and John were used to the slight confusion that came at having two Shepards of the same rank in the same room. “It was wonderful to meet you. Let’s talk sometime when we’re both on the Citadel again, shall we?”

“Yes, sir,” she replied, saluting him in farewell. He returned the salute. “Commander, I’ll see you on board momentarily?” he asked, looking at John questioningly.

“Of course, sir. I’ll just be a minute,” John replied, recovering from his surprise and saluting his captain.

“Very good. Follow me, Nihlus. I’ll show you to your quarters then introduce you to the rest of the crew,” Anderson said, turning and walking towards the Normandy.

“See you again soon, Shepard,” Nihlus said as he gave Sera a brief wave and followed behind the captain. Sera couldn’t detect turian subvocals, but she was certain his must be full of mirth, if the glimmer in his eyes was any indication. He was enjoying messing with her way too much. His new, almost playful attitude was so different than he had been during the month or so he’d spent with her team out in Artemis Tau. The man—er, turian—was baffling.

She stared after the pair as they headed back to the ship. Sera could see the crew gathering up their gear to board and pretending as if they hadn’t been trying to watch the entire exchange between their famous captain, a turian Spectre, and two commanders. What a strange group they must have made, particularly if any of the crew had recognized her or John.

“So, uh, good morning,” John said, crossing his arms in a pose Sera recognized. It was the same pose she assumed when she was about to grill someone for information.

“Good morning, indeed. It’s been an interesting one, anyway,” Sera said with a laugh, running her fingers through her ponytail. It was a nervous habit of hers, and one of the reasons she often wore a bun instead.

“Care to explain what that was all about?” John asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

“I wouldn’t even if I could,” she replied cryptically. “I enjoy seeing you thrown off your game too much to ruin it with an explanation.”

“Uh-huh,” he said with a huff. “I need to get going, but thank you for coming. It was really great to see you.”

“You, too,” Sera said, flinging her arms around her brother. She wasn’t sure how long it might be until she saw him again, though based on Nihlus’s presence here this morning, it might actually end up being sooner than either of them had been expecting. After only a short pause, Sera felt John’s arms tighten around her, and they embraced for a long moment.

“You be safe, okay?” he said quietly, and Sera squeezed him in response.

“I will. You be safe out there, too,” she said. “And, John,” she paused, wanting to say so much to him in that moment but knowing that she could not.

“Yeah?” he asked, pulling back from their hug and looking at her with a slightly puzzled expression when she had remained silent too long.

“Just… Good luck, alright? You’re going to be great,” she said, knowing that he’d likely remember this moment later and realize she’d known more than she’d let on.

“Um, thanks?” he replied, adding, “Weirdo.” He grinned at her and she grinned back.

He picked up the duffel bag he’d dropped at his feet, slinging it over his shoulder, then gave her one last quick side hug and turned toward the Normandy. Sera crossed her arms again and stood, watching him approach the few crew members who were still hanging around on the docking platform. They saluted John as he approached—he was the Normandy’s XO, after all—and they followed him onto the gangway.

Just before he passed out of view, John looked back over his shoulder and gave Sera a quick wave. She waved back. Then he disappeared into the ship’s airlock.

So apparently John was the second human candidate being considered for the Spectres. She wondered if they hadn’t been told about the circumstances up front because the Alliance higher-ups had been worried that pitting Sera and John against each other could create some friction between them. Whoever had made that decision obviously didn’t know her and John very well. Being twins and experiencing what they had together made them as close as two people—as two siblings—could be. There would be no rivalry between them. While she had of course been excited at being considered to join the Spectres, she would be equally excited if John were chosen instead. Truly. And he’d feel the same if she were chosen.

No matter what happened, it was the Shepard twins against the galaxy. The way it should be. The way it always would be.


	3. Prime Candidate

“I hate that guy,” said Joker sardonically.

“Nihlus gave you a compliment… so you hate him?” Lieutenant Alenko replied.

John stood behind the Normandy’s pilot and his staff lieutenant, listening to them bicker back and forth about the Spectre aboard the ship, who had just paid Joker an apparently inadequate compliment. The Normandy had left the Citadel about a week ago, but he hadn’t gotten to know his new crew particularly well yet. Captain Anderson had kept John busy familiarizing him with the ins and outs of their new state-of-the-art stealth ship and mentoring him in his new role as an XO aboard an Alliance vessel.

Alenko said something to Joker about the Council probably sending a Spectre along on the Normandy’s shakedown run to “keep an eye on their investment,” given that the Council had helped to fund the Normandy project. But something about that didn’t quite add up. John had gotten the distinct sense over the past week that Spectre Kryik was on board the Normandy to observe… well… _him_. Kryik was often lurking nearby, and he had spoken to John briefly here and there, asking him pointed questions that seemed intended to discern John’s ability to analyze information, make command decisions, and exercise good judgment. Joker seemed to share John’s suspicions of the reasons behind the Spectre’s presence, but before John could ask Joker why _he_ thought the Spectre might be here, Captain Anderson’s voice broke in over the comm asking for a status report and requesting that John meet him for a mission briefing. Anderson sounded more than a little annoyed by the end of his exchange with Joker because _of course he did_.

“Great, you pissed the captain off, and now I’m going to pay for it, Joker,” John said, only partly in jest. He needed to do better about trying to build rapport with the crew, but that didn’t mean he wanted them pissing off the captain in the process.

“Eh, the captain always sounds like that when talking to me,” the pilot replied, glancing up at John with half a grin. He seemed uncertain as to whether John had been joking or not and appeared to be checking his reaction.

Alenko just scoffed from his seat beside the pilot. “Can’t imagine why,” he muttered.

John just shook his head. He wasn’t sure where Flight Lieutenant Jeff “Joker” Moreau had gotten his nickname, but it sure seemed to be an appropriate one. The man couldn’t be serious for more than two seconds; hopefully he was the type who could flip a switch into a more professional mode when it counted. Anderson _had_ said Moreau was the best pilot in the Alliance, and John knew Anderson was no fool.

“Hey, Commander,” Alenko ventured tentatively after a long moment of silence, interrupting John’s thoughts. Though he did glance briefly at Joker, he hadn’t turned to look at John when he spoke, keeping his focus on the panel in front of him. John gathered that Alenko was either nervous or embarrassed about whatever it was he was about to say.

“Yes, Lieutenant?” John replied, looking at the man with curiosity. He hadn’t interacted with Alenko enough for him to have anything to be nervous or embarrassed about.

“I just wanted to say that, uh, you’re a lucky man,” Alenko said after a hesitant pause.

John wasn’t sure what the lieutenant was getting at. “I feel like I should be telling you that you’re out of line, Lieutenant. But I haven’t the first clue what you’re talking about,” he said honestly. This was the first non-work-related comment he’d received from Alenko, and of course it had to be a cryptic one. Maybe he was jealous of John’s role as executive officer aboard the Alliance’s prize new frigate? John’s service record was such that he had encountered soldiers before for whom resentment of John was a major issue. He wouldn’t have pegged the lieutenant as the type, though. And anyway, jealousy of John’s command was sort of a moot point—Alenko wasn’t a high enough ranking officer nor had he received the training John had to qualify him for such a posting.

Before Alenko could respond, Joker chimed in, a big grin plastered across his face now. “Oh, he’s talking about your _girl_ , Commander,” he said, apparently happy at an opportunity to tease the Alenko, who was now looking absolutely mortified.

“My girl?” John asked, truly confused. It had been quite some time since John had been in a relationship serious enough to merit calling someone ‘his girl.’ He knew Captain Anderson was going to be waiting for him in the comm room, but John decided he needed to decipher this puzzling conversation before he walked away.

“Yeah,” Joker said, eager to explain even as Alenko was shaking his head at the pilot, clearly trying to get him to shut up. “Some of the crew were at Flux last week for one last hurrah before the Normandy left dock. And we saw you there—well, we didn’t realize who you were at first and we didn’t know we’d be serving on the Normandy under you, of course—but we saw you there having drinks with your girl.” Joker’s words tumbled out in a joyous rush as he gleefully told his story. “She’s super hot, by the way. You thought so, too—right, Kaidan?” he added with a smirk in Alenko’s direction.

John crossed his arms and frowned at Joker. He should probably reprimand the pilot for his comments, but his mind wandered as he thought back to that night when he’d met Sera for drinks at Flux. Did they think that he and Sera were…?

“Don’t worry, Commander, she turned me down,” Alenko interjected quickly, shooting Joker a sharp look.

“Turned you down?” John repeated, as he finally worked out who the lieutenant was. “Oh! You were the guy from the bar who hit on her!” he exclaimed, remembering that Sera had seemed distracted when he’d returned from hitting the head and had told him that a soldier at the bar wanted to buy her a drink.

“Sir,” Alenko stiffened, his face ablaze with embarrassment. He had an earnestly apologetic expression as he finally turned to face John. “I apologize for stepping out of line. If I had known she was with you, I _never_ would have—honestly, I didn’t even… It was Jenkins, sir, he—”

John waved his hand dismissively. “It’s fine, Alenko.”

“Sir?” Alenko asked, clearly thrown off by John’s casual response. It seemed he had been expecting his commander’s ire and wasn’t sure what to do with this unexpected reaction.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I told her she should have let you buy her that drink—well, I didn’t know it was _you_ , specifically, Lieutenant,” John added.

“Um, I don’t understand, sir,” Alenko replied, confused. John almost laughed out loud; he was enjoying the lieutenant’s discomfiture far too much.

“The woman I was with? She’s not ‘my girl,’” John said, waiting for the realization to sink in. When it didn’t appear to, he added, “She’s my family.”

“So wait… That was…” Alenko began weakly.

“That—” Joker interrupted, taking over where Alenko had trailed off, “was Commander Sera Shepard? Your _sister_?” He broke down in a fit of laughter, and John looked at Alenko who just stared back, eyes wide.

“If you’re still interested in buying Sera that drink, Alenko, I promise I’ll introduce you the next time we’re on the Citadel, okay? Beyond that, you’re on your own.” He clapped a friendly hand on the lieutenant’s shoulder before turning to leave the cockpit.

“Oh, _shit_ , Kaidan,” he could hear Joker saying as he walked away from the two men, “the look on your face, ha ha!” John shook his head as passed out of earshot and descended the few steps that led down to the CIC.

He paused for a quick chat with the Normandy’s navigator, Pressly, whom he had overheard speaking over a comm with Chief Engineer Adams about Spectre Kryik. After only a few minutes of conversation, John determined that Pressly was wary of the Spectre specifically and turians in general, a sentiment John could understand even if he didn’t necessarily agree with it. Not all of it anyway. He didn’t have any particular reason to dislike Nihlus or turians—they hadn’t wronged him personally in any way. But he could see where the older man was coming from; his views on turians weren’t necessarily uncommon in the Alliance’s ranks, especially among older soldiers or soldiers whose relatives had been involved in the First Contact War. John assured Pressly that he would find out what he could about the Spectre’s purpose here from the captain, then continued toward the comm room

John was stopped _again_ before he could make it through the doors to the comm room when he encountered Corporal Jenkins and the Normandy’s chief medical officer, who were also engaging in a lively discussion about the Spectre’s presence aboard the ship. The corporal was an enthusiastic young soldier whom John found to be a bit too keen on seeing action; he apparently had gotten most of his ideas about military service from none-too-realistic action vids. John had seen his fair share of fighting, more than most his age had, but he didn’t go looking for fights. With rare exceptions. He gently but firmly admonished the young corporal in a way that would hopefully temper his eagerness for battle, at least for the near future.

Out of politeness, John also asked a few questions of Dr. Chakwas; she was an experienced Alliance physician who had been posted on many warships, including the Tokyo where she had served with Captain Anderson and John’s mother for several years. He hadn’t met the doctor prior to this posting, but he knew of her from his mother and respected her experience and pragmatism. When soldiers like Jenkins risked themselves in search of action and glory, Dr. Chakwas was there to pick up the pieces. She had certainly cared for and lost many soldiers throughout her long career, and though John was grateful to have her on the Normandy, he hoped they wouldn’t have much need of her expertise on this shakedown run. He wasn't expecting that they would encounter any trouble.

As soon as he could extract himself from the discussion, he bid the pair farewell and continued on to the comm room, where Anderson was waiting for him. But when he entered the room, John was surprised to find Spectre Kryik waiting alone inside. John approached the Spectre hesitantly, though he wasn’t exactly sure why. This was more his ship than it was Kryik’s; he was the ship's XO and Kryik was the guest here, not the other way around.

Kryik turned at John’s approach and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Commander Shepard, I was hoping you’d get here first. It will give us a chance to talk,” he said conversationally.

“Captain Anderson requested to meet me here,” John replied pointedly, failing to hide his displeasure at finding the Spectre instead of his captain.

Kryik’s mandibles twitched in an expression John couldn’t read. “He’s on his way,” he said, dropping his arms to his sides as he began to pace the room. “I’m interested in this world we’re going to,” he began. “I’d like to know more about Eden Prime.”

John explained that he hadn’t ever been there, but that Corporal Jenkins had grown up there and was standing just outside if Kryik wanted to speak to someone with firsthand knowledge of the colony. Kryik dismissed the idea, seemingly wanting to talk more about what the colony represented rather than the colony itself. John grew frustrated at the implied threat underlying the Spectre’s words when he asked whether humanity really had the capacity to protect its colonies from the dangers of the galaxy.

“Your people are still newcomers, Shepard. Is the Alliance truly ready for this?” he asked, pausing to look at John, holding his gaze. John felt himself bristle at the challenge in the turian’s tone, but he also sensed that this was a test of some kind, that the Spectre wanted to see if he could goad John into some sort of reaction. He was about to reply, when he heard the sound of the doors whooshing open and shut behind him. John turned and saw the captain approaching; he shifted to the side and saluted Anderson.

“At ease, Shepard,” Anderson said, then gestured at Kryik. “We’ve just about reached Eden Prime. I think we should tell the commander what’s going on here, Nihlus.”

John assumed parade rest position and after a curious glance at his captain, looked to Kryik.

“This mission is far more than a simple shakedown run, Commander,” the Spectre began.

John scoffed. “That’s obvious. Most of the crew has figured that out by now.”

“True enough,” Anderson said. He went on to explain that the Normandy had been tasked by the Alliance and the Citadel with the mission of covertly picking up a Prothean beacon that had recently been unearthed by a human research team on Eden Prime. John didn’t know much about Prothean technology other than that a similar discovery back in the '40s had essentially given humanity the mass effect technology that allowed them to travel the stars. Humans would still be stuck in the Sol System without it. The discovery of new Prothean technology could be monumental.

“This goes beyond mere human interests,” Kryik cut in. “This discovery could affect every species in Council space.”

“So this is why you’re here then, Spectre?” John asked. “To protect the Council’s interests and oversee recovery of the Prothean beacon?”

“Not quite, Commander,” Kryik replied as he looked to Anderson, who nodded at him. Now John’s curiosity was truly piqued. “I’m not just here for the beacon. I’m also here to observe and evaluate you.”

John raised an eyebrow. “To evaluate me... for what?”

It was Captain Anderson who answered his question. “The Alliance has been pushing for this for a long time. Humanity wants a larger role in shaping interstellar policy. We want more say with the Citadel Council. The Spectres represent the Council’s power and authority. If they accept a human into their ranks, it shows how far the Alliance has come.”

John was silent as understanding hit him—he was being considered to join the Spectres?

"You held off an enemy assault during the Blitz with only your sister by your side. You showed not only courage that day, but also incredible skill. And I was impressed when I studied the reports from Torfan,” Kryik added. “It was a grim business… but you got the job done. That’s why I agreed that you were an excellent choice for one of the human Spectre candidates.”

“One of the human candidates?” John repeated. “There are others?”

Kryik huffed, his mandibles twitching and this time forming an expression John interpreted as amusement. “Just one,” he said.

“Who is the other?” John asked, looking to his captain. He wanted to know who his competition was before he decided how good his chances of being chosen were.

“Actually—”

“Captain! We’ve got a problem.” Joker’s voice cut in over the comm, interrupting Anderson’s reply.

“What’s wrong, Joker?” Anderson asked.

“We’ve received a transmission from Eden Prime, sir. You better see this,” Joker replied. All sense of levity he had displayed earlier was gone and he had shifted into serious mode. Apparently he did have a professional side.

At Anderson’s direction, Joker brought up the video transmission on the comm room’s screen. The three of them watched in silence as a squad of Alliance soldiers were besieged by off-camera enemy combatants in a vicious firefight. A man’s voice called for help, requesting assistance and evacuation. Just before the transmission cut out a few seconds later, a large unfamiliar machine of some kind (or was it some sort of ship?) appeared to be reaching down out of the sky as bolts of red electricity sparked along its hull. John had never seen anything like it. Neither, apparently, had Kryik or Anderson, given their silence and the growing sense of unease filling the room.

Joker concluded by reporting that there were no other Alliance ships in the area, which meant that the Normandy’s crew was on its own in responding to the distress call. In spite of the misgivings he may have felt about the Spectre, it occurred to John that it was particularly fortunate that he happened to be present given these new developments.

They quickly devised a plan with the limited information they had. John was to lead a small strike squad on the ground, consisting of Lieutenant Alenko and Corporal Jenkins, while Kryik scouted ahead through the colony, reporting back to John and his team. Their primary objective was the recovery of the beacon itself; helping survivors was secondary.

It had been Alenko who had asked about aiding the surviving colonists. John felt a slight twinge of guilt that he hadn’t been the one to ask. Given what had happened to his own father on Mindoir and his sister on Akuze, as well as what he knew from his own experiences defending Alliance colonies from slaver and pirate attacks over the past few years, John knew how bad conditions on the ground were likely to be and how unlikely they were to find many survivors—if the footage they’d received was any indication. But it was still something he should have asked about. Instead, he had been too focused on the beacon and the fact that Spectre Kryik was observing him on this mission that had now just become far more complicated than a simple pickup. He looked at the lieutenant with a newfound sense of admiration. Alenko seemed to be a good man who truly cared about helping people, and given his interest in Sera, John found that he was pleased to have arrived at that conclusion.

They skirted the edge of the colony and found a deserted location to drop off Spectre Kryik so that he could begin scouting ahead. As Joker brought the Normandy around to a second drop location, an open stretch of ground a little further out from the main colony given the lack of structures, Anderson gave final instructions that they should maintain radio silence on the ground, save for Kryik’s scouting reports. Then, he turned command of the ground mission over to John.

“The mission’s yours now, Shepard. Good luck.”

”Ready and able, sir.” And he was. This sort of command is what John was trained for, what he thrived on. And the knowledge that how he managed this mission was going to factor into his consideration for Spectre was all the motivation he needed.

John saluted the captain, then led Alenko and Jenkins down the shuttle bay ramp and out onto the colony of Eden Prime.  
  
  
*****

  
Less than an hour later, Corporal Jenkins and Spectre Kryik were both dead. And John was pissed.

With Jenkins, there hadn’t been anything he could do. The inexperienced marine had stepped out into the open, and before John could even yell at him to get his ass behind cover, the drones had gotten him in their sights and torn through his shields. It was over in the blink of an eye. John and Alenko had quickly taken down the drones, but it had been too late to save Jenkins.

Whatever had happened with the Spectre had also been out of John’s control; they had discovered the turian’s body on a platform near the tram that led to the colony’s spaceport. He appeared to have received a single gunshot to the back of the head, execution-style. A craven dockworker/smuggler, who had apparently been hiding nearby and observed the whole thing, claimed that Kryik had been killed by another turian named Saren. He wasn’t a very reliable witness, though, so John had no way of knowing whether that was what had actually happened or what it even meant.

John had finally gotten through to the Normandy on his comms and was pacing the platform where they had at last tracked down the Prothean beacon they’d been sent down to Eden Prime to retrieve in the first place. He had no regrets about any decisions he’d made; he’d done the best he could with the information they’d been given, and their mission _had_ been accomplished. They had found the Prothean beacon. But the cost of the beacon’s recovery had been high. He hoped it would prove to be worth it.

As soon as he’d been able to get ahold of Joker, John had requested immediate extraction for his ground team and the beacon. Secondary recovery teams would follow to pick up the bodies of Jenkins, Kyrik, and the dead colonists and to assist the colony in getting back on its feet. It was a shame about Jenkins and Kyrik, but these weren't the first soldiers John had lost under his command. Casualties were the cost of war. Granted, they weren’t currently _at_ war as far as John knew, but all the same. They had encountered waves of geth— _geth outside the Veil?_ —and very few colonists seemed to have survived the initial assault on the colony. The whole situation was frankly a shitshow, and it was a miracle that anyone at all had survived.

John paused on the platform, watching Alenko talk quietly with Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, a marine they’d picked up soon after having lost Jenkins. This had been his first ground mission with any of the Normandy crew, and he had to admit that Lieutenant Alenko had performed admirably. He had handled himself well in the field, even after Jenkins had been killed right in front of them mere minutes after they’d hit the ground. And he was an even more talented biotic than John had gathered by reading the man’s military file: combined with his tech skills and medic training, Alenko made for a formidable sentinel and valuable soldier to have on a ground squad. John wasn’t exactly the overbearing type—he knew better than anyone how tough Sera was and what she could handle—but he once again found himself thinking that Alenko seemed like he might be a good match for her. He’d have to make sure he followed through on the promise he’d made to Alenko earlier today to introduce them.

 _Shit_. He couldn’t believe that conversation in the cockpit had been just that morning. It felt like ages ago. He rubbed his hand over his face, trying to clear the traces of exhaustion that were starting to creep in.

Needing something to occupy himself while waiting for their pickup, he decided to sort out what he was going to do about his new squad member. “Williams!” he called suddenly, gesturing to get her attention. She’d fallen in seamlessly behind his command, and with her unit having been wiped out by the geth attack on the colony, he thought she might want to join the Normandy’s crew. He couldn’t exactly leave her behind by herself, and he was short a soldier now anyway. John was practical in his command decisions, if not particularly sentimental.

Williams punched Alenko on the shoulder amicably as she walked away from him, and John frowned slightly to himself. She was very friendly with Alenko awfully fast. “You wanted to talk to me, Commander?” she asked as she approached John, coming to a stop just in front of him. The way she raised her eyebrow questioningly at him and stood with her arms crossed and hips cocked to one side drew his notice. For a marine, she displayed an unusual mix of casual friendliness and confident professionalism.

“Right, yes. I was wondering if you had given any thought to what you might do next. Since the rest of your unit has been killed,” he added. He briefly regretted his blunt words when Williams visibly flinched and dropped her arms to her sides, but other than that, she didn’t appear to be affected by what he had said. Not outwardly, anyway. He realized that while she seemed tough and had fought well beside them, she was also fairly young, though perhaps not as young as Jenkins had been. He didn’t know how much battle she had seen before today.

“Well, sir, I—”

All of a sudden, John could see in his peripheral vision that something was happening with the beacon. He shoved Williams unceremoniously aside as he took several quick strides toward where Lieutenant Alenko was hunched over and was being slowly dragged towards the beacon itself, apparently caught in some sort of an invisible tractor beam.

He wrapped his arms around Alenko just enough to grab him and throw him to the side, wrenching him out of the beacon’s pull. However, that meant that John himself was now within the range of the beacon, and he doubled over in pain as he felt a wave of energy wash through him. His skin buzzed, as if crackling with electricity, and a sharp pain began radiating through his skull as he felt himself being dragged across the platform towards the beacon. He couldn’t pull away, couldn’t stop, couldn’t—

And then John felt himself lifted up into the air. His arms flung wide of their own accord, and he clenched his teeth as a jolt of electricity surged through his body. The pain, as sharp as if someone were taking a knife to his brain, ratcheted up, throbbing, stabbing, piercing until—

“Shepard!”

He heard Williams calling out his name, but he was powerless to react to it. A series of disturbing images paired with horrendous sounds began to flash in John’s mind. He couldn’t keep the images out, no matter how tightly he closed his eyes against the onslaught. Flashes of pain, suffering, violence, death—all awash in red blood. With each flash came a screech that seemed to drive the image further into his brain, etching the images there so that he wouldn’t, couldn’t ever forget them. He didn’t understand what he was seeing, couldn’t make any sense of it. He just tried to cling to his whatever sense of self he still had until the last dredges of his consciousness faded away to black.

  
*****

  
John slowly opened his eyes and found himself staring at the ceiling of the Normandy’s med bay. How had he gotten here?

He winced as a loud voice nearby began to urgently call for the doctor. “Doctor? Doctor Chakwas? I think he’s waking up.” It was Ashley Williams.

John carefully sat up and shifted so that he was sitting with his legs hanging off the side of the exam table where he had woken up. His whole body ached and his head throbbed; he rubbed at his temples, trying to soothe the pain while he gathered his thoughts. He had apparently been knocked unconscious by whatever had transpired down on the colony. How long had he been out?

The sound of footsteps approaching forced him to look up, and he found Doctor Chakwas narrowing her eyes at him, studying him carefully.

“You had us worried there, Shepard. How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Not great,” John replied honestly. “Like the morning after shore leave.”

He heard a bark of laughter behind him and turned his head to see Williams covering her mouth trying to stifle a laugh while Alenko stood beside her looking slightly uncomfortable by the joke.

Chakwas laughed good-naturedly, then proceeded to explain that John had been unconscious for 15 hours and that the beacon down on Eden Prime had apparently done something to his brain activity. She gave him a brief examination and proclaimed him to be physically fine. He asked what had happened down there, and Chakwas glanced at the marines standing behind him.

Alenko cleared his throat and spoke up. “It’s my fault, sir. I must have triggered some kind of security field when I approached the beacon. You shoved me out of the way.”

“You had no way of knowing what would happen, Alenko. I’m just glad neither of us was seriously hurt.” John thought he saw a flash of gratitude cross the lieutenant’s face. He had meant what he'd said. John didn’t enjoy seeing soldiers injured or killed under his command, and it would’ve been a shame if Alenko had been hurt before he could even make good on the promise he had made him.

Williams chimed in next. “The beacon… did something to you. And then it exploded. A system overload, maybe? Anyway, the blast knocked you out cold. The LT and I carried you to the shuttle and got you back to the Normandy.”

“I appreciate it, Williams. Alenko.” John nodded his head in thanks at both of them.

The door to the med bay opened, and Captain Anderson entered, causing all three soldiers to straighten. John slipped off the table and was relieved to find that he was fairly steady on his feet.

“How’s our XO holding up, Doctor?” Anderson asked.

“All readings look normal,” she answered. “I’d say the commander’s going to be fine.”

“Glad to hear it. Now if I could have the room, please. I need to speak to the commander in private.”

“Of course, sir,” Alenko replied quickly. “We’ll be in the mess.” He practically dragged Williams out of the med bay, and Doctor Chakwas walked closely behind them, a small smile on her lips as she followed the pair out the door.

Once they had left, Anderson turned back to John. “Seems like that beacon hit you pretty hard, Commander. You’ve been out for over half a day. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’ll live,” John said. “I’m pissed about the geth, though. Intel dropped the ball. We had no idea what we were walking into down there, sir.”

Anderson crossed his arms. “I know. But nobody could have predicted this.” He walked away from John as if taking a moment to gather his thoughts, then he turned back to face him. “I won’t lie to you, Shepard. Things look bad. Nihlus is dead. The beacon is destroyed. Geth are invading.” He paused, then added, “The Council will want answers.”

“What?” John asked, unable to keep the anger he was feeling from creeping into his voice. “But the geth would have wiped out the whole colony and recovered the beacon if I hadn’t stopped them!”

“I know, Shepard. I’ll stand behind you and your report. You’re a damned hero in my books.”

Anderson proceeded to bring up the topic he had been dancing around ever since he’d asked to speak with John privately: the beacon and the turian named Saren. Though Anderson didn’t come right out and say it, John gathered that he knew the turian personally. He spoke of the apparent Spectre-gone-rogue with an animosity that surprised John. Whatever had happened between Anderson and Saren had been serious.

“What I don’t understand,” Anderson concluded, “is why he allied himself with the geth. I only know it must have something to do with that beacon. You were the only person to interact with it before it was destroyed—did you see anything? Any clue that might tell us what Saren was after?”

John paused, unsure whether he should reveal the visions he saw just before he’d lost consciousness on Eden Prime. He still couldn’t quite make sense of them, and he knew that explaining that one saw visions was often considered to be a sign of psychological distress. He took in a deep breath, then looked down at his feet and exhaled before continuing.

“Just before I lost consciousness, sir, I had some kind of vision. More like a nightmare, actually. I’m not really sure what I saw. Death. Destruction. Nothing’s really clear.” He glanced up, trying to gauge Anderson’s reaction.

Anderson’s response was far more serious than John had been expecting. “We need to report this to the Council, Shepard.”

John threw up his arms in frustration. “What are we going to tell them? That I had a bad dream?”

“We don’t know what information was stored in that beacon, but whatever it was, Saren took it. I _know_ Saren. I know his reputation. He hates humans, and this was an act of war.” Anderson pounded a fist into his open palm. “Saren has the secrets from the beacon. He has an army of geth at his command. And he won’t stop until he’s wiped humanity from the face of the galaxy!”

John just stared at his captain for a minute, watching him breathe heavily as he worked himself into a rage over Saren. This was serious to have gotten Anderson so upset. “I’ll find some way to take him down, sir,” John said seriously. “I promise.”

Anderson sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I appreciate that, Shepard, but it’s not that simple. He’s still a Spectre. He can go anywhere, do almost anything. That’s why we _need_ the Council on our side.”

“If we prove Saren’s gone rogue, will the Council revoke his Spectre status?” John asked.

“I don’t know how we prove it yet, but if we can, I think they will. I’ll contact the ambassador and have Joker set a course for the Citadel.”

Anderson turned to leave, but John called out after him. “Sir?”

“Yes, Commander?”

John straightened, clasping his hands behind his back. “I know this probably isn’t the best time to ask, but it might help us in our pursuit of Saren.”

Anderson raised an eyebrow but remained silent, waiting for John to continue.

“What happens with my Spectre consideration now?”

Anderson rubbed his chin, considering the question carefully.

“Well, Nihlus is obviously unable to file his final assessment of you,” he began soberly. “That will be a challenge we’ll need to overcome. But the Council does have your military dossier, and Nihlus’s recommendation wasn’t the only thing they were going to rely upon. I’d still say your chances are fairly good, Shepard.”

John wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, but one thing still worried him. “But what about the other candidate, sir? You never told me who the other person is.”

To John’s surprise, Anderson’s face broke into a wide grin.

“What? Who is it?” John asked eagerly, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“Oh, just another one of the Alliance’s best. A helluva soldier, like you. An N7, like you. And a war hero and a survivor—just like you.” Anderson paused, then added, “Actually, I believe you know her quite well, Commander.”

John shifted in surprise. “Her—wait, the other candidate is Sera?” There was only one female N7 as far as John knew.

Anderson nodded. “She’s as decorated and capable a soldier as you are. Nihlus had just returned from accompanying her on several missions, and he filed his report on her before joining the Normandy.” Thinking back, John realized that this explained Sera’s strange comment to him when they’d parted on the dock last week, when she had wished him luck and told him he was going to be great. She must have known what the Spectre was doing there. He felt like a fool for not questioning the meaning behind her words sooner.

“So... Sera and I are competing to become the first human Spectre then,” John said. It wasn’t a question.

Despite the fact that they had gone to school together and chosen similar career paths by joining the military, he and Sera had never really been in direct competition before, where one’s success meant the other’s failure. He would never admit it to her, but John had always harbored a slight resentment towards his younger twin in that she excelled in everything she attempted and with seemingly little effort. Plus, John had always had a more difficult time than her at keeping his emotions in check; it was something that he had always struggled with, particularly since their father’s death. Even so, he had no rivalry with Sera. He wanted to be made a Spectre, but he didn't know if he wanted it if it came at Sera's expense. And the idea that the Alliance would pit him and Sera against each other for its own advantage just didn’t sit well with him.

Anderson frowned slightly as he replied, “Actually, I had been about to explain before the Eden Prime mission went to shit that you and Sera aren’t technically in competition.”

John’s eyebrows shot up. “We aren’t?”

“You are both being considered for induction independently of the other. If the Council finds you both acceptable, you will both end up being inducted. Two human Spectres.”

Anderson reached out and clasped John's shoulder, squeezing it briefly before he turned and headed for the door. Before exiting, he looked back over his shoulder and said, “Commander, take a minute to get yourself together. Have an informal debrief with Alenko and Williams. Then head to the bridge. We’ll be arriving at the Citadel before too long.” And with that, John was left alone with his thoughts.

John felt a wave of relief wash over him as he leaned back against the lab table and processed Anderson’s information. Instead of feeling apprehensive, he now felt a renewed buzz of excitement at having been selected as a Spectre candidate. He wanted to be chosen. It would be the achievement of a lifetime, and he wasn’t even thirty years old yet. And Sera might be selected as well? He couldn’t think of better news after how shitty the past 24 hours or so had been.

He thought about pulling up his omni-tool and sending Sera a message right now, but they _were_ en route to the Citadel at that very moment and he still needed to debrief his team. He would likely see her shortly anyway. And maybe this visit, they would be getting to celebrate a historic accomplishment together.


	4. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter ended up being waaay longer than I planned because it was just too much fun writing Sera and Kaidan getting to know each other better—I finally had to cut it off somewhere. So either ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘you’re welcome’, depending on how you feel about those two. I promise things will pick up speed plot-wise in a bit, but for now there’s a lot of character-establishing and relationship-developing that’s happening while Sera, John, and the crew are all hanging around the Citadel.

Sera hurriedly made her way down the hallway leading from the embassy’s lobby area towards the wing that held the Alliance’s Citadel Office. She and Admiral Kahoku had already been planning on meeting later that morning to continue poring over the intelligence she’d recovered on her last mission, but he had contacted her twenty-three minutes ago requesting her immediate presence in his office. Kahoku was a fairly level-headed man, and the urgency she sensed in his message unnerved her. If he felt that whatever intel he had couldn’t wait a few more hours until their scheduled meeting, it had to be significant.

When Sera arrived at Kahoku’s office, she greeted his assistant, Petty Officer Cohen. She had grown somewhat friendly with the young man over the past seven months—in fact, she suspected he had a bit of a crush on her, or at least the ‘her’ he imagined her to be. Sera found that younger soldiers in particular often had a very idealized version of her in their heads as they’d been seeing her on Alliance recruitment posters since they were teenagers. Cohen hadn’t gone so far as to hit on her, but she hadn’t encouraged him, either. She had just seen and experienced too much to find his sort of eager innocence and blind optimism endearing.

Despite the early hour, Cohen saluted her cheerfully and immediately picked up his phone to notify the admiral that she had arrived. She noticed that he smiled pleasantly at her as she swept past him into Kahoku’s office. Whatever was worrying the admiral apparently hadn’t reached his assistant.

She found Admiral Kahoku sitting behind his large mahogany desk that was free of clutter other than the collection of datapads scattered atop it. He glanced up from skimming something on his omni-tool when she entered his office and beckoned her closer.

“Come in. Please, sit,” he said distractedly, looking at her for only half a second before focusing his attention back on his omni-tool’s display.

Sera furrowed her brow at his lack of attention to protocol, even more concerned now than she had been on her way to his office. What could possibly be wrong? Even as she asked herself the question, she carefully made her way to the chair in front of his desk and lowered herself into it.

Neither of them spoke for several minutes, and Sera wasn’t sure what she was meant to do. So she folded her hands neatly in her lap, sat with her back ramrod straight, and waited for her commanding officer to address her again.

Finally, Kahoku sat back heavily in his chair, finished with whatever he had been reading. He looked exhausted.

“Sera…” he began, and immediately Sera tensed at the use of her first name.

“Sir?” she replied.

“I have two difficult pieces of news you need to hear,” he said seriously, and her heart leapt into her throat as he looked her directly in the eye. “The marine unit that accompanied you on your last mission... has gone missing.”

“What?” Sera exclaimed. “How? When?” Her mind was reeling as she thought of those men and women she had gotten to know over the few weeks they had spent working together. They hadn’t known each other long, but she felt responsible for them. It had been her mission, and they had been her crew.

“I sent them back out to Artemis Tau to follow up on the recon work you started during your search for Dr. Banes. I was hoping they might uncover another lead.” He paused, then said, “They only reached the cluster a couple of days ago. We lost contact with the team yesterday evening.”

“We don’t have any idea what happened to them?” Sera asked.

“I’m getting stonewalled by bureaucratic assholes. Suddenly everything’s restricted.” He banged his fist angrily on his desk, and Sera nearly jumped out of her skin. She had never seen him so angry. Kahoku was a Rear Admiral in the Systems Alliance Navy. The list of people who were powerful enough to block an investigation he was heading up could not be long.

“We’ll track them down, sir. We’ll figure out what happened to them,” she said. She wanted to promise that they would rescue them, that they would bring the marines home safely. But she knew it was dangerous to make promises one couldn’t keep. So she didn’t promise him. But she hoped.

“It’s not even been a day. I need some time to talk to the Council and work with the Alliance on next steps. And I need to figure out who’s blocking my access. But as soon as I have more intel, we’ll put together a mission, you and I. It’ll more than likely be a solo op back out to Artemis Tau, but there’s no point sending you before we have a little something more to go on.”

Sera nodded. She was more than happy to travel back out to try and locate her former team. And she was no stranger to solo work.

“In the meantime, there’s something else you need to know. A short while ago, a report came through from the SSV Normandy.” Sera moved her hands to the arms of her chair, her fingers gripping the armrests tightly as she braced herself for whatever he was about to say. That was John’s ship. “Apparently things went to hell on their shakedown run to Eden Prime. When they arrived, the colony was under attack.”

“Under attack from whom, sir?” Sera wanted nothing more than to ask about John, but she held back her question and waited for Kahoku to get to it. He knew she’d want news about her brother, if there was any, and she trusted that he’d tell her what she needed to know.

“Unclear. They are reporting the presence of _geth_ on the colony, but…”

“...But that doesn’t make any sense,” Sera finished.

“Precisely. Unfortunately, a young marine and Spectre Kryik were killed.” He paused and leaned forward, studying her carefully. She guessed that he was waiting to see whether she would ask about Nihlus or about her brother. It wasn’t even a question in her mind who to ask about first.

“And my brother, sir? Is John alright?” she asked.

Kahoku leaned back and said, “Your brother was injured. At last report, he hadn’t regained consciousness, but he survived the attack.” Sera sucked in a breath. “I don’t have any other news than that. The Normandy’s on its way back to the Citadel now to report to the Council and meet with Ambassador Udina.”

“Thank goodness he’s alive,” Sera replied quietly, feeling at least somewhat relieved. John was alive and he was on his way to the Citadel, where some of the best doctors in the galaxy were stationed. He could get whatever medical attention he might need here; she would make sure of it.

Kahoku stood suddenly, and Sera jumped to her feet, clasping her hands behind her back. “Commander, I am releasing you from _assigned_ duty for forty-eight hours.” Sera cocked her head questioningly at the unusual orders.

“Sir?” she asked, assuming he’d understand her implied request for clarification.

“You are still on duty, and you still have whatever authority being an officer of the Alliance grants you on this station. However, I am giving you the freedom to assist with duties outside of anything _I_ might happen to assign you.” He gave her a pointed look, then glanced at a monitor hanging on his wall that was displaying the time on the Citadel in Galactic Standard as well as the current time in different important locations throughout Alliance Space. “The Normandy is expected to dock at the Citadel in about ten minutes. I suggest you hurry over to Dock 422 and rendezvous with Captain Anderson. Perhaps he has need of your services over the next two days. I will notify him of my orders to you. Do you understand?”

Sera paused before answering, holding Kahoku’s gaze. He was giving her permission to see John and help Anderson deal with the aftermath of whatever had happened on their Eden Prime mission. She nodded gratefully, then replied, “I understand, sir.”

“Good. Then I’ll see you back here two days from now. If I need to speak with you sooner, I’ll be in touch. Dismissed, Commander.”

“Admiral,” she said, saluting him before turning and leaving his office, not even sparing a glance for Petty Officer Cohen as she breezed past him. Then, as quickly as she could without sprinting, she made her way to Dock 422.

  
*****

  
The Normandy was already docked when Sera arrived. She practically leapt off the elevator—gods, was there a slower elevator on the Citadel than the one that led from C-Sec up to the Normandy’s docking bay?—and she raced across the platform towards the ship. 

Sera suddenly stopped short as she approached the gangway, realizing she didn’t actually have a plan at this point. It’s not like she could walk up to the door of a spaceship and knock... could she? Maybe she could message John, but if he were unconscious... 

Luckily, she only had to stand there indecisively for a few seconds before the Normandy’s airlock door slid open on its own. Perfect timing. A small group of people inside the airlock seemed surprised to find someone already waiting for them on the dock, but one of the figures pushed through the others and made their way to the head of the group.

“Sera?” a familiar voice called, and Sera sighed with relief as she recognized her brother, who was looking as well as she remembered him looking just over a week ago when she’d seen him last.

“John!” she exclaimed, and she waited impatiently as he strode across the gangway and made his way over to her. As soon as he stepped foot on the dock platform, Sera leapt forward, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him into a fierce hug.

She felt his arms come around her after just a moment’s hesitation, returning her embrace as he asked, “Sera? What are you doing here?”

Sera released him, taking a step back and looking him over, just to make sure he was fine. When he appeared to be, she punched him in the shoulder. _Hard_.

“Ow!” he exclaimed, wincing as he grabbed his shoulder. “Shit, what was that for?”

“You could’ve sent me a message letting me know you were alright, you jerk,” she replied, the anger in her voice only half-feigned. “I had to find out from Admiral Kahoku that you were attacked on Eden Prime? He told me you were injured! I showed up here ready to drag your unconscious ass to the hospital.” Now that her thoughts and emotions had caught up with her, she realized she was feeling a bit frantic and her voice was pitched slightly higher than normal.

John stared at her, then glanced back at his crew members, including Captain Anderson, who had hung back out of politeness. Sera felt her cheeks flush pink with embarrassment as she realized that her outburst had an audience.

She cleared her throat. “Sorry. I—uh, I’m glad that you’re okay,” she said finally. “Just promise me I won’t ever have to hear news like that about you from someone else again, alright? _Promise_ me.”

“You mean the way I had to hear about Akuze from Mom?” he asked, giving her a pointed look.

Sera glared at her brother. He damn well knew this wasn’t the same thing.

“Okay, fine, I promise,” he acquiesced, dropping his hand from his shoulder and turning to gesture to the others waiting in the airlock, waving to let them know it was alright for them to approach. Captain Anderson led the group the rest of the way to the docking platform, a mixed look of concern and amusement on his face.

Sera tried to recover her pride by formally saluting the senior officer. “Nice to see you again, Captain Anderson, sir,” she said.

“Likewise, Commander,” he replied. “Shepard—” Anderson glanced between the pair of siblings, then clarified, “uh, John, I need to talk with Ambassador Udina before we see the Council. You have a few minutes, but then bring Alenko and Williams with you and meet me in the Citadel Tower.” He paused, looking at Sera intently as if considering something. “I just received an interesting communication from Admiral Kahoku. Sera, I’d appreciate the extra help if you would come along, too. John can brief you on the details from the mission. Sound good, Commander?”

“Yes, sir,” Sera and John responded at the same time, causing Anderson to bark out a laugh. He gestured at several other crew members standing behind him to follow, and Sera watched as they walked over and boarded the elevator, leaving her alone on the platform with John and two marines she didn’t know.

She heard John clear his throat, and she looked back at him, feeling slightly sheepish. “I really am sorry about all that before. Kahoku told me he had a report from the Normandy—but all he said was that there had been an attack and that you had been hurt. I thought I’d show up at the Normandy and find you half-dead. I was just worried about you,” she finished quickly.

“Speaking of, what was your plan exactly? Were you going to walk up to the Normandy and knock?” John asked, crossing his arms and smirking at her knowingly.

“Uh, no, of course not. Don’t be stupid,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Uh huh,” John replied, reaching out and gripping her shoulder comfortingly. “Look, I really am sorry I didn’t message you. I only woke up a little while ago, and we’d nearly arrived already. I just figured I’d see you when I got here. I didn't know you’d literally be waiting on the dock when we arrived.” He smiled at her, then said placatingly, “Hey, let me introduce you to my ground team. This is Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams—we picked her up on Eden Prime. Williams, this is my sister, Sera Shepard.” He gestured at a pretty but tough-looking marine standing beside him. Sera held out her hand and Williams took it, shaking it vigorously.

“Wow, Commander Sera Shepard. It’s a real honor to meet you,” she said. “You know, I enlisted shortly after the Blitz, and all us women in basic really looked up to you.” Sera felt herself blush; she was never really quite sure how to respond to people when they said things like that.

“Uh, right. Thanks, Williams,” was all Sera could come up with, and she released Williams’ hand after what she thought was an appropriate amount of time for a polite handshake. Williams seemed pleased enough by the exchange.

“And _this_ ,” John said, drawing her attention to the man standing just behind Williams, “is Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. He’s our resident sentinel aboard the Normandy.” Sera turned her head to look at the officer who stepped forward, and her eyes widened in recognition—she had seen him before. He was the soldier who had wanted to buy her a drink at Flux last week. She’d recognize those kind, honey-brown eyes anywhere. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about them.

Alenko had obviously made the connection as well, if the flush on his cheeks was any indication.

“Nice to meet you, Lieutenant Alenko,” she said politely, holding out her hand to him. He grasped it firmly, but didn’t shake it quite as vigorously as Williams had, thankfully. In fact, though his grip was firm, he shook her hand rather gently, maintaining eye contact with her the entire time.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, too, ma’am,” he said. Sera felt a light fluttering in her stomach when he spoke. His voice had a slight husk to it that she found… alluring.

She barked out a laugh to cover her reaction. “Ma’am?” she said. “Please. I’m not your commanding officer. You don’t need to kiss _my_ ass—just my brother’s. Call me Shepard. Or Sera.”

“Of course, uh, Shepard,” he stammered. Alenko continued shaking her hand, much longer than was appropriate for a polite handshake.

“Ahem.” John cleared his throat, and Alenko dropped Sera’s hand almost as if he had been scalded by it. Sera almost laughed again, but she turned to her brother instead. His eyes were sparkling with mischief as he looked at her.

She rolled her eyes at him again and gestured in the direction of the elevator. “Should we start making our way to the Tower? We can take the scenic route.” Sera was trying to distract her brother from his obvious amusement at her expense. John nodded, mirth still evident on his face, though he thankfully didn’t say anything about her interaction with Alenko.

The group set off, Sera and John walking side-by-side while John’s squad followed quietly behind. The interminable elevator ride down to C-Sec was only slightly awkward as John filled Sera in on what had happened during their mission on Eden Prime. Sera thought she could sense Alenko’s eyes on her as she tried to make sense of what her brother was saying. Something about a massive spaceship, a Spectre-gone-rogue named Saren who had apparently murdered Nihlus, a now-destroyed Prothean beacon—oh, and loads of geth.

“So there really were geth down on the colony?” she asked John after they had stepped off the elevator and were headed down a side corridor. The route they were following would take them to another quicker elevator that led to a less-busy transit center Sera knew about in the upper wards.

“Yeah. It’s crazy, I know,” John replied.

“Hmm,” was all Sera said as she continued leading the group up a set of stairs. She knew a bit about geth; she had certainly learned about them during her Academy training. But the geth hadn’t been seen beyond the Perseus Veil in several centuries, so not much was known about them. The thought of geth being found in Alliance Space both unsettled and intrigued her.

A few minutes later, they had just emerged onto a large, wide-open corridor in the upper wards not too far from the entrance to Flux, when all of a sudden Williams let out a gasp of surprise and rushed across the corridor to lean over a railing in front of a large glass window. The observation area gave a stunning view of one of the Citadel’s long arms, the glittering lights of residential and office buildings of the ward on full display, stretching out for kilometers. Sera inferred from her excitement that this must be the woman’s first visit to the Citadel, so she slowed to let the group take in the view. She followed Williams’ lead and leaned against the railing, looking out over Tayseri Ward.

“Big place,” Alenko said matter-of-factly, causing everyone to turn and look in the lieutenant’s direction.

“That your… professional opinion, sir?” Williams replied, a teasing snark evident in her tone as she elbowed the lieutenant, who was leaning against the railing beside her. Sera wondered at the relationship between Williams and Alenko. They appeared rather friendly. Maybe she had been misreading him.

“This isn’t a station so much as a city,” Sera explained. “Each of the arms is a ward, and each of the wards contains millions of residents. This is Tayseri Ward, and I live over there,” she pointed up and to the right at one of the other long arms, “in Zakera Ward.”

John crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the railing. He had been to the Citadel numerous times before and was looking at Sera as she spoke rather than taking in the view. “With so many residents and all the visitors besides, it can’t be possible to track everyone coming and going,” he said thoughtfully. While Williams and Alenko had been taken in by the view, of course her brother had been pondering the security situation.

“You’re right. It is difficult,” Sera said, shrugging, “but C-Sec is pretty good at their job. Between manned patrols, security mechs, cameras, and DNA scanners, they keep pretty close tabs on things. I’d say security’s definitely tighter on the Presidium than out in the wards, though.”

“Well, I think this place makes Jump Zero look like a port-a-john,” Williams chimed in, giving her own assessment of the Citadel. John let out a laugh that caused Sera to narrow her eyes at him. Was her brother _charmed_ by this female marine? That was interesting. And unexpected.

“Jump Zero is big,” Alenko said, agreeing with Williams, “but this is a whole other scale. The Council represents more races than I thought. No wonder they’re cautious with newcomers. It must be hard keeping all these cultures working together.”

Before Sera could reply, Williams said harshly, “Or maybe they just don’t like humans.” 

Sera raised her eyebrows at the young woman. Maybe it was due to the fact that Sera had been living on the station for nearly a year or perhaps it was because she often found herself in close contact with alien races during her recon work, but Sera bristled slightly at the xenophobic tone of the comment. She was finding herself on the verge of potentially disliking Williams.

“I think you’re wrong about that, Williams,” Sera said. “Why wouldn’t they like humans? We’ve got oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love—according to the old vids, we have everything they want.” As she spoke, she shifted so that she was resting with her back against the railing, hands gripping the rail on either side of her hips.

“When you put it that way, there’s no reason they wouldn’t like you,” Alenko said quietly. When Sera quickly turned her head to look at him, she found that he had been staring directly at her as he spoke. His cheeks turned a slight shade of pink. “—I mean no reason they wouldn’t like us. Humans. Ma’am,” he spluttered, trying to cover for his slip. Sera just smiled at him. His nervousness around her was endearing.

Sera wondered what it was exactly about the lieutenant that intrigued her. It didn’t hurt that he was attractive, but she knew that wasn’t the only thing. Just this morning she had been dismissive of Petty Officer Cohen’s potential interest in her, and now, here she was, finding herself captivated by this lieutenant from her brother’s crew. While he appeared nervous, he certainly didn’t seem blindingly innocent or naive. He just seemed like a good, kind person. He was an experienced Alliance soldier, too; her brother had described him as extremely capable on the ground during the Eden Prime mission. And as a sentinel, he was into tech, like she was. She hoped she would have a chance to ask him about his background and training to see what else they might have in common.

“You don’t take much shore leave, do you, LT?” Williams was asking when Sera withdrew from her thoughts, that snarky tone back in the marine's voice. Sera nearly laughed aloud at the way Williams was ribbing the lieutenant; it reminded her of siblings, of the way she and John teased each other. Deciding Williams wasn’t interested in Alenko in _that way_ , she revised her opinion of the woman to be more favorable.

“Alright, laugh it up, Chief,” John said, cutting off the banter. “We should get going, Sera. Anderson is probably waiting for us in the Citadel Tower by now.” He was giving her a pointed look. He had remained quiet during that entire exchange but would likely have something to say to her about it later.

“Yeah, of course. Let’s go,” she said, pushing herself off the railing. The others started to fall in behind her, Alenko just on her heels, as she stepped away from the observation area.

“I’ll walk drag, LT,” she heard Williams say brightly. Sera glanced over her shoulder to catch Alenko shooting Williams a sharp look, and she smiled to herself. She _had_ been right about Alenko being interested in her, and Williams had noticed it, too. The thought had a feeling of warmth spreading through her chest.

They continued on their way, chatting amicably and discussing the layout of the Citadel wards as they waited for a transit. Around fifteen minutes later, they found themselves being dropped off in front of the elevator at the Citadel Tower’s entrance.

“Ready?” Sera asked, gesturing vaguely upwards. John, Williams, and Alenko all tilted their heads back, their gazes taking in the tall tower before them.

“We’re going all the way up _there_?” Williams asked, sounding either skeptical or nervous, Sera couldn’t decide.

“Yeah. The Council holds session up at the top. I have to accompany Admiral Kahoku to meetings up there sometimes. That’s where Captain Anderson will be waiting for us.”

“Come on, team. We shouldn’t keep Anderson or the Council waiting,” John said, leading the way into the elevator. Now that they were nearly to their destination, Sera could detect a shift in John’s demeanor. She didn’t work with him often, but she could sense his serious side taking over as he slipped easily into his role as commander and prepared for whatever was about to happen next. Any playfulness and teasing of the last half hour they’d spent talking was gone.

Sera followed him into the elevator and found herself leaning against the wall of the lift next to Alenko and behind her brother and Williams. She let her gaze linger on the lieutenant’s profile; he stood with his hands clasped behind his back and his eyes fixed straight ahead. Alenko was taller than she was, almost as tall as John, and even in his light armor she could tell that he was muscular and well-toned. His perfectly coiffed hair was dark, nearly jet black, and he had thick, luscious eyebrows that she’d noticed were quite expressive. There was no denying that the man _was_ attractive. She once again admired the strong line of his jaw and the whisper of stubble along it, and she wondered how the scruff might feel against her skin if she were to cup his cheek with her palm—

 _Gods_ , she needed to pull herself together.

As the lift neared the top of the Tower, something John had said earlier came back to her: Alenko was a sentinel, which meant he was a biotic. Her eyes flicked to the back of his neck, and she noticed a small biotic amp plugged into the base of his skull. It was mostly hidden by his hair—that was probably the reason he left it a little longer than most soldiers, including her brother, usually did—but you could see the amp if you knew to look for it. Sera wasn’t a biotic, but she _was_ trained in tech and knew about biotic amps and implants. Given his age, she wondered what type of implant he might have. He seemed like he might be old enough to have been fitted with one of the L2s, in which case, he was likely very powerful. But she also knew about the complications of the L2 implants and how hard things could be for biotics in general. Things probably weren’t easy for him, and she wondered what his life had been like growing up.

Almost as if he could read her thoughts, Alenko turned his head to find her staring at him. She wanted to look away, embarrassed at having been caught, but his expression was interested, not accusatory. He smiled at her, so she smiled back, their gazes fixed on each other for a lingering moment, until John’s voice interrupted the silence in the elevator, breaking their connection as they both turned to look at him.

“Alright, here’s what’s going to happen. Captain Anderson and I will need to speak with the Council about the beacon and Saren. Alenko and Williams, you hang back with Sera unless we need to call you forward to testify. Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Alenko and Williams acquiesced professionally, while Sera playfully shoved past her brother, exiting the elevator first when the doors opened in front of them. She turned around to face him while she still walked slowly backwards, gave him a dramatic salute, and said, “Aye aye, Commander Shepard,” before turning on her heel and leading the way to the other end of the Council Chambers. She could hear the others’ footsteps following behind her, and if rolling your eyes at another person made a sound, she was certain she would have heard the noise from John behind her. Someone had to keep him from taking himself _too_ seriously, though; she figured it may as well be her.

She led the way up a set of stairs and paused when they came upon two turians, one a C-Sec officer and the other Sera recognized as the head of Citadel Security himself, Executor Pallin, arguing in the middle of the walkway. After a brief exchange, Pallin stalked off, leaving the disgruntled officer in his wake. The officer, apparently named Garrus, turned to greet them as they approached.

“Commander Shepard?” the turian asked. Sera wasn’t sure which one of them he meant at first, but she realized he was looking directly at John, so she remained quiet. “I’m Garrus Vakarian—please, call me Garrus. I was the officer in charge of the C-Sec investigation into Saren.”

“Who was that?” John asked, gesturing after the departing C-Sec Executor. “And what do you mean _was_ in charge of the investigation? Surely it isn’t over already?”

Sera, who had led her share of intelligence gathering ops, agreed with John’s sentiment. The events on Eden Prime had transpired not even 24 hours ago. That seemed like an awful short turnaround to both initiate and then conclude an investigation.

Garrus huffed in annoyance. “That was Executor Pallin, head of Citadel Security and my boss. He’ll be presenting my findings on Saren to the Council.”

“Let me guess,” Sera said quickly, crossing her arms. “You couldn’t find anything conclusive. Saren’s a Spectre, so you were denied access to most of his records.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Garrus said, finally shifting his gaze to look at Sera. “And you are?”

She held out her hand to him. “I’m Commander Shepard,” she said with a grin. Garrus reached out and clasped her forearm in greeting, but she detected a puzzled expression on his face as the brow plates above his cobalt blue eyes pulled together slightly. The turian glanced between the two Commander Shepards in confusion as he shook Sera’s hand.

“Meet my insufferable twin, Commander Sera Shepard,” John said by way of introduction, lightly grasping Sera by the upper arm and tugging her away from Garrus’s handshake. “We have to get going. Captain Anderson and the Council are waiting for us,” he said pointedly.

“Nice to have met you!” Sera called back, giving Garrus a quick wave with her free arm.

“Good luck. Maybe they’ll listen to you,” Garrus called, staring after them as they continued on through the Council Chambers.

Sera shrugged out of John’s grasp. “What are you doing? That guy might be helpful in going after Saren. I have some contacts in C-Sec, but he actually headed up the investigation,” she said frustratedly. “Plus, it doesn’t hurt to be friendly. Geez.”

Sera noticed that John’s squad had remained quiet throughout that entire exchange and were still following silently behind them. She glanced over her shoulder and caught Alenko’s eye. He was looking at her with a slight expression of amusement on his face, and Sera concluded happily that the lieutenant had taken her side in the exchange regarding the turian C-Sec officer.

They found Captain Anderson waiting for them at the base of the final set of stairs leading to the Council platform.

“Come on, Udina’s gone ahead and the Council session has already started,” he said urgently, gesturing for John to follow him. John glanced back at Sera, and she crossed her arms and nodded at him, letting him know she, Alenko, and Williams would wait there for him until the meeting with the Council was over.

As Anderson and John disappeared, Sera turned around and looked at the two marines shifting somewhat awkwardly beside her. She was about to open her mouth to say something, when Williams spoke up first.

“I’m going to go over there and check out that, uh, fountain,” she said, gesturing randomly at one of the pretty water displays a few meters away. “You two have fun getting acquainted.” Sera could have sworn she saw Williams smirking at Alenko as she turned and walked away, leaving him and Sera alone.

Sera sighed. “Come on, Lieutenant. Sit with me?” she said, walking over to a bench nearby and taking a seat. Alenko hesitated briefly, rubbing at the back of his neck, then he followed her over and sat down a safe distance away on the bench.

He waited only a moment before speaking. “I’m really sorry about what happened to the commander, uh, your brother, on Eden Prime. It was my fault.”

That was news to Sera. John had sort of glossed over his injuries, simply saying that the Prothean beacon had knocked him unconscious. Somehow. “How was it your fault?” she asked, curious. He looked at her intensely, his eyes—those distractingly sexy honey-brown eyes—meeting hers.

“I’m really interested in studying tech, so I approached the Prothean beacon to try and get a closer look at it. Well, apparently I got too close because it trapped me in some sort of beam and started to pull me in. I must have triggered a defense system,” he confessed. “Anyway, the commander grabbed me and threw me to the side, putting himself in harm’s way instead.” As she listened to him tell his story, she realized that he looked extremely distraught, like he was terrified of how she was going to react to hearing it.

“You can’t blame yourself for that,” she replied. “You didn’t know what would happen. John’s a good commander. I know that since Torfan he has developed a bit of a... reputation. But he really does care for the soldiers under his command. It was his duty to try and save you.”

He let out a breath and seemed to relax slightly. He ran his hand through his hair, though it didn’t seem to have any effect on his perfectly coiffed hairstyle. “Yeah, I know. It’s an honor to serve on a ship with him. But I still feel guilty,” he said.

“Well, don’t,” Sera replied. “I don’t blame you. And I’m sure John doesn’t, either.”

“I’m just glad he’s okay. After we lost Corporal Jenkins _and_ Nihlus…” he trailed off.

“Yeah, well it sounds like things were pretty rough down there,” Sera said sympathetically. “And there were geth! I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one.”

“I know, right?” Alenko agreed. “I remember learning about them in one of my basic mech hacking classes back at the Tech Academy, but I didn’t actually think I’d ever run into any.”

“Tech Academy, huh? You wouldn’t happen to have taken that course from Major Dinesh Dalal?” she asked.

“Yeah! Wait... You, too?”

“Kinda. I didn’t really take courses there with other soldiers.” Alenko gave her a puzzled look, so she elaborated. “Um, as part of my specialized advanced officer training they assigned Dalal to be my personal instructor. He taught me the tech ops courses one-on-one so I could get through them more quickly. It cut the standard 15 month program down so I completed it in about half a year.”

Alenko’s eyes widened as he seemed to remember something. “You know, now that you mention it, I think that Dalal had been on sabbatical for about 6 months before I had him. When I had his class, it was the first course he was teaching after coming back.” He turned and looked at her in astonishment. “That must have been when he was working with you.”

Sera just shrugged, looking slightly sheepish. She hadn’t meant for this conversation to turn into a boast about her educational accomplishments. She had just wanted to go to know the lieutenant a little better and maybe bond over their shared interest in tech. Now he was looking at her like she was a creature apart. She hated when people treated her like she was something special.

Luckily, the sound of voices approaching interrupted their conversation before it could turn more awkward for her. John, Captain Anderson, and Ambassador Udina appeared at the top of the staircase where they paused, deep in a heated conversation. Both Sera and Lieutenant Alenko leapt to their feet, but when the men didn’t descend the stairs, Sera gestured to Alenko and Williams to join her as she walked up the steps to meet them.

Sera listened quietly for a few minutes as they debriefed the meeting with the Council. It obviously hadn’t gone well. The Councilors had felt that the accusations against Saren were unsupported by evidence and had been dismissive of the claims made against the turian. It also turned out that Captain Anderson had some sort of complicated history with the Spectre, and Udina argued that their history had hurt their chances of succeeding with the Council.

It was decided that more evidence would need to be uncovered before they could make another move against Saren and that Captain Anderson would need to stay as uninvolved as possible to avoid it appearing as if he were simply trying to revive some old grudge against Saren.

“Alright, so Captain Anderson has to appear uninvolved in our investigation. But there still has to be some way to find evidence against Saren,” John said.

“You should talk to Barla Von over in the financial district. Rumor has it he’s an agent for the Shadow Broker,” Anderson said.

“He is,” Sera confirmed, and everyone turned to look at her in surprise. “Admiral Kahoku has had me meet with Barla Von a couple of times before, so he’s already an established Alliance contact. He’s a good sort. If he knows something and can help you out, he will. Though at what cost…” she trailed off, shrugging her shoulders.

“Well he may have a lead we can follow,” John agreed, giving Sera a nod of thanks. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Sir, what about Garrus, that C-Sec investigator?” Alenko suggested. “We saw him arguing with the executor.”

“That’s right,” Sera said. “He was asking for more time to finish his report. It seems like he might have been close to finding something on Saren.” Out of the corner of her eye, Sera noticed Alenko look in her direction and give her a small smile.

“That’s good,” Ambassador Udina said. “I have a contact in C-Sec who might be able to help track Garrus down. His name is Harkin.” Sera was about to point out that she often worked with Alliance Intelligence and had C-Sec contacts of her own, but she decided against it. She hadn't met Udina before, but the ambassador didn’t seem like the type of man who would appreciate being called out in such a way and in front of others. She guessed that he liked to feel like he was the most important and well-connected man in the room, which she supposed he generally was.

“Okay, so this Harkin,” was all she said, “do you know where we can find him?” Sera figured she may as well ask, even though it wouldn’t take much effort for her to find Harkin on her own.

This time, Captain Anderson spoke up before Udina could. “Harkin was suspended last month for drinking on the job. He’s probably getting drunk at Chora’s Den. It’s a dingy little gentleman’s club run down in the lower section of the wards.”

“Yeah, I know it,” Sera replied matter-of-factly. 

Alenko let out a choked cough, and Sera heard Williams clapping him on the back. “You alright there, LT?” Williams asked him under her breath. Sera couldn’t hear his murmured reply, but she felt her face flush red when she realized what her off-handed comment about knowing Chora’s Den must have sounded like to the others.

Captain Anderson either didn’t hear or chose to ignore what had just transpired. “John, why don’t you take Williams and talk with Barla Von. See if you can dig up any leads. Sera, take Alenko and track down Harkin. Find out if he knows where this C-Sec officer is and learn what he discovered in his investigation. I’ll be over in the ambassador’s office, and I expect regular updates from both of you. Clear, Commanders?”

“Understood, sir,” Sera said at the same time John said, “Yes, sir.” Anderson smiled to himself as he began to walk away with Ambassador Udina; it seemed he still found amusement in speaking with both Commander Shepards at the same time.

“I guess we’re splitting up then?” Williams said. Sera thought she didn’t seem terribly upset about the idea, though truthfully neither was she.

“Looks like it,” Sera replied. “Good luck with Barla Von. Drop my name if it’ll help,” she said with a wink.

“Have fun visiting _Chora’s Den_ with Alenko,” John replied, smirking. Sera rolled her eyes before turning away from her brother. “Promise me you won’t get into too much trouble.”

“Yeah, yeah. I promise,” she called back over her shoulder before turning to Alenko. “Come on, Lieutenant. Let’s get out of here.”

  
*****

  
A short while later, Sera found herself walking with Lieutenant Alenko through the lower markets leading to Chora’s Den. He had been slightly awkward around her at first, the dynamics of their working relationship a bit unclear. She technically wasn’t his commanding officer, but she was a higher rank than he was, so he was treating her rather formally. However, Sera wasn’t terribly bothered by protocol when she was on the ranking end of things, and when the lieutenant realized that, things fell into a more comfortable camaraderie between them.

While they had taken an elevator down to the lower wards, Sera had pulled up her omni-tool and requested a quick intel brief on Harkin. The file pinged back in less than 60 seconds, and she pulled it up to find a picture of the man they were after at the top. She showed it to Alenko, who had nodded as they left the elevator and began making their way through the market.

“So you’ve lived on the Citadel for a year?” Alenko asked her as they passed a particularly enthusiastic shop owner who seemed disappointed when they didn’t stop to examine his goods. Morlan, Sera thought his name was. She tried to give the salarian a sympathetic look as they continued by.

“Uh yeah, thereabouts. I’d passed through the Citadel a lot on missions before, but I’ve been stationed here and based strictly out of the Alliance offices here for a little less than a year. I take it you haven’t spent a lot of time on the Citadel?” she asked, trying to steer the conversation back to the lieutenant. Too many questions about her posting with Kahoku and she would have to shut the conversation down entirely; Alenko simply didn’t have the clearance for her to be able to talk to him about her work.

“Honestly, the couple days I spent here before the Normandy’s shakedown run was my first visit. The only time I’ve even really done anything on the station was when I let those guys drag me out that night at Flux—” he cut himself off suddenly, as if realizing that he’d inadvertantly walked right into admitting something they hadn’t actually talked about yet. “Uh, Shepard, about that night,” he began.

“Don’t worry about it, Alenko,” she said, though she wasn’t quite sure what he had been about to say. It seemed like maybe she had misinterpreted where he was going with his comment because he furrowed his brow at her before simply nodding and looking away.

Sera wanted to kick herself. She always felt like she had to try and quickly defuse potentially awkward situations, and half the time she ended up making things worse because _of course_ she did. This was one of the reasons why her brother was better in command of a crew than she was and why Sera tended to prefer working solo or with small teams.

Realizing they were nearly to their destination, she decided to refocus on the mission at hand.

“So Chora’s Den is just through that corridor. I’m going to go ahead and assume you’ve never been there,” she said, raising an eyebrow questioningly at him.

“Of course not,” he replied rather defensively. Then his eyebrows shot up. “Wait, why have _you_ been there?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she said with a wink, then she turned and stepped through the doorway into the corridor. And directly into an ambush.

“That’s them!” a flanged voice shouted, clearly the voice of a turian, though not one she recognized. The sound of several shots whizzing past her head had Sera ducking into cover against the low railing in a heartbeat.

“Shit! Get down!” she hissed at Alenko who had hurried into the corridor behind her and thus directly into the line of fire. When she glanced back in his direction, she found him already encased in a shimmering blue biotic barrier, and he rushed forward to crouch beside her.

“How many are there?” he asked, slipping his pistol from its holster. Alenko was fully armed and wearing armor at least; Sera was wearing her Alliance crew uniform today, which provided some small amount of protection, but she was in no way outfitted for a shootout outside of Chora’s Den. She readied her omni-tool, which was essentially her only weapon at the moment.

“It looked like there were just two,” she said. “Turians. Medium armor. No shields up that I could detect. Shotguns. You got right, I got left?” The last was an order more than a question. He nodded at her. Either he didn’t realize she was unarmed or he didn’t even think to question whether she needed a weapon or not, the latter of which was a compliment, she supposed.

At her signal, they rose as one from cover and took aim at their respective targets. Alenko swiftly used his biotics to Throw his opponent backward as he moved around the corner and began to advance on their enemy’s position. At the same time, Sera quickly entered a short sequence into her omni-tool and deployed a Sabotage attack, overloading her opponent’s weapon. She heard the turian swear as his weapon overheated and jammed, no longer able to fire. While he spent precious seconds fumbling with his gun, Sera took the opportunity to dart around the corner after Alenko.

She rounded the corner to find the lieutenant standing over the turian he had Thrown, shooting him several times with his pistol. The assassin remained on the ground, unmoving. Unfortunately, the second assassin, her target, seemed to be recovering his weapon from Sera’s initial Sabotage attack, and he raised his shotgun directly at Lieutenant Alenko, who hadn’t yet noticed the movement.

“Oh _fuck_ ,” she growled, lunging past Alenko and wrenching the assassin’s weapon to the side and up, so that the shotgun fired towards the ceiling. Despite the vast size difference between herself and the turian, the force of Sera’s lunge had her barreling into him, and the two of them toppled over onto the ground. Sera quickly rolled clear and crouched, ready to spring for another attack, hopefully this time disarming her opponent and claiming his weapon. However, Alenko had recovered his surprise and fired his pistol twice, leaving the assassin lying on the ground in a growing pool of blue blood. She let herself fall back onto her ass against the wall, leaning her head back, eyes closed in relief, and breathing heavily as the adrenaline rush began to leave her. 

The whole incident couldn’t have lasted more than 20 seconds.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, another cupping her cheek. Her eyes flew open to find the lieutenant crouched in front of her, his face just inches away from hers as he appeared to be examining her. “Sera! Are you alright?”

“Of course I am. Are you?” she replied after a moment. Her right arm ached, old injuries aggravated by the move she had just pulled, but otherwise she was fine. She needed to remember not to lean into lunges like that with her right side.

Alenko gave her an incredulous look. “Me?! I'm fine! You’re the one who just crashed into a 150-kg armored turian assassin without any armor on.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “I’ll be fine. Help me up,” she said, reaching out her hands as he stood in front of her. He gave her a look that said he disapproved, but he grasped her hands and tugged, pulling her to her feet. She hoped he didn’t notice that she’d winced in pain as she’d stood up.

“Here, let me see your arm. You’re hurt.” Shit, he’d noticed.

“What are you, a doctor?” she asked, resisting the urge to roll her eyes as he moved closer to her right side. He held her wrist loosely with his right hand and placed his left hand gently on her shoulder.

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Didn’t your brother tell you I’m trained as a medic?” He carefully extended her arm, moving it from side to side and then up and down, watching her carefully for any reaction to pain. She schooled her features the best she could, but she couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath when he raised her arm above her shoulder.

“Damn,” she said, letting out a breathy laugh. She pulled away from his grasp, and he released her arm. Sera winced again as she rotated her arm a little more, trying to stretch out the sore muscle. “Really, I’m fine. It’s an old injury. I must have just aggravated it.”

“Well, you should let me get some medigel to put on it. It might help with the pain, at least,” he said. Then he frowned at her. “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?” she asked, puzzled.

He gave her a look that suggested he thought she was being intentionally dense. “Why didn’t you just shoot him?”

Now it was her turn to look incredulous. “I don’t have any of my gear.” She gestured vaguely at herself. “No armor or weapons. Just my 'tool,” she said, holding up her left arm. 

“Why didn’t you say anything? I would have given you my pistol,” he said, sounding frustrated with her.

“Exactly, and then _you_ wouldn’t have had a gun—”

He cut her off, pointing at himself. “Biotic, remember? And then you got in between me and that assassin without wearing any armor. You could have been shot.”

“But I wasn’t,” she said calmly.

“But you _could_ have been,” he replied, glaring at her.

She shrugged. “I mean, sure. But you could have been shot, too. That’s why I did it. I’m an N7, Alenko. I’m trained for this sort of thing.”

“Just promise me you won’t risk yourself like that for me again,” was all he said, giving her an intense look.

“Alenko—” she began.

“No, Sera, promise me. I already had one Shepard get hurt risking themselves for me in the past 24 hours. I don’t want you getting hurt on my conscience, too." 

The look he gave her was so serious, so solemn, that she simply swallowed any argument and nodded at him. “Okay, I promise.” She knew if it truly came down to it, she _would_ risk herself again to save him. But for now, she would make him this promise.

“Alright, then,” was all he said. “Thank you.”

“Right. I, uh, should get C-Sec down here to clean up this crime scene.”

Sera pulled up her omni-tool’s display and typed out a message to one of her C-Sec contacts. She wasn’t involved in incidents on the Citadel very often, but she had been part of enough investigations with Kahoku now that she knew who in C-Sec would do a good job collecting evidence and cleaning up a scene like this. After a moment, she decided to send a second quick message to Anderson and John so they’d know what had just happened to her and Alenko. The assassins had shouted “That’s them!” like they’d been expected, so this was likely tied to the Saren investigation as opposed to some sort of random attack. When she finished, she looked up at the lieutenant, whom she realized had just been studying her quietly while she typed.

“What?” she said, suddenly self-conscious.

“Nothing. You just have something...” he trailed off, bringing his hand to his own forehead and touching his hairline to show her.

Sera brought her hand up to her own forehead, mirroring his gesture, and wiped at the wetness she felt there. When she pulled her fingers away, they were smeared in blue blood.

“Ugh, assassin juice,” she joked, and the lieutenant huffed out a laugh.

“Here, let me,” he said, pulling off his gauntlet and bringing his own hand to her forehead. He had taken a step closer to her, and she held very still as he rested his palm on her hair and swiped his thumb along her hairline. Sera couldn’t help but breathe him in, he was standing so close to her, and she thought he smelled faintly of cedarwood and eezo. She hadn’t spent a lot of time around biotics, but the few times she had, she always noticed that trace of eezo, the scent of crackling electricity and raw power. It was intoxicating.

She cleared her throat and shifted slightly, causing Alenko to remove his hand from her head and take a step back. “Uh, thanks,” she said, trying to hide the flush on her face.

He wiped his hand on his armor, then slipped his gauntlet back on. “I figured you probably wouldn’t want to talk to Harkin with blood on your face.”

“Ugh, Harkin. Right, we should go,” she said, groaning as her mind refocused on the task at hand. The ambush and Alenko’s subsequent attentions had caused her to completely forget what they were doing down here in the lower wards in the first place. “My C-Sec guy will take care of this for us. Come on.”

Sera led the way into the club and forced herself not to look back at Alenko when she heard him murmur quietly under his breath as they’d entered the bar. Scantily clad asari were dancing, well, everywhere. Turians and humans occupied most of the tables in the club, some openly ogling the asari dancing on tables within arm’s reach of where they were sitting. Everything was so out in the open here, both the dancing and the lewd leering. 

“He’s at that table in the back,” Alenko said, leaning in so he could speak into her ear. He had leaned in so close to her that she had to repress a shiver at feeling his breath on her neck. Sera looked in the direction he indicated and spotted the man they were looking for.

Harkin looked to be in his late 40s, balding, and was still wearing a slightly dirty and disheveled C-Sec uniform, despite having been suspended from duty a month ago. In addition to apparently not having laundered his clothing recently, it appeared that he hadn’t shaved in several cycles. He looked like a man who may have been attractive in his younger days, but years of alcohol and a sour attitude had given him a foul appearance. Several empty bottles littered the table where he sat alone, nursing a cheap beer.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” he said with a leer, perking up as Sera approached. “You looking for some fun? ‘Cause I gotta say that soldier getup looks real good on that bod’ of yours.” Sera sensed Alenko tense beside her, but he didn’t say anything. She put her hand on her hip and glared at him like he were something foul she'd stepped in. “Why don’t you sit your sweet little ass down beside old Harkin? Have a drink and we’ll see where this goes.”

Sera wasn’t going to put up with this creep’s shit, especially not after having just been subject to an assassination attempt mere minutes before. “I’d rather drink a cup of acid after chewing on a razor blade,” she said with mock sweetness. She heard Alenko choke back a laugh.

Harkin must have heard it, too, because he glared at Alenko before turning back to Sera. “You trying to hurt my feelings? You gotta do better than that. After twenty years with C-Sec, I’ve been called every name in the book, princess.”

Sera straightened, standing as tall as her 1.6-meter height would allow, and she let a sharp edge into her voice as she replied coolly, “The name’s Commander Shepard, not princess.”

Harkin stared at her for a minute, recognition clear on his face. Then finally, he said, “Alright, relax. What can I do for you, _Commander_?”

“I’m looking for a C-Sec officer, Garrus Vakarian. Do you know where I can find him?”

“Garrus, you say? You must be part of Anderson’s crew. Poor bastard’s still trying to bring down Saren, eh?”

“I’m not on Captain Anderson’s crew,” Sera replied quickly. “Just tell me where Garrus is, and I’ll leave you the hell alone.”

“Fine, I know where Garrus is. He was sniffing around Dr. Michel’s office. She runs the med clinic on the other side of the wards. Last I heard, he was going back there.”

“Thanks for the intel, Harkin,” Sera said snidely, giving him a mocking salute. She half-expected him to be lying to her about Garrus’s location, but she didn’t know what he’d have to gain by doing so. She’d just come back here and confront him about it.

“Yeah. Good. Go. Let me drink in peace,” he called after her, and she and Alenko turned and walked towards the exit of the club.

When they’d reached the corridor just outside, Sera felt Alenko’s hand on her arm, causing her to stop and look at him. “Don’t listen to him, Sera. Harkin’s an ass.”

Sera let out a laugh, shaking her head. “Do you think that’s the first sexist asshole I’ve ever dealt with? Clearly you have no idea what it’s like to be a woman in the military, Alenko.”

“Well, you’re right. I guess I don’t know what that’s like.” He gave her a sad look. “Sorry.”

She shrugged. “Thanks, but it’s not your fault,” was all she said. She was about to move away, but she hesitated, biting her lip. “You know, that’s the third time you’ve called me Sera,” she said quietly.

Alenko’s face turned bright red. “I’m sorry, ma’am, if I’ve stepped out of line—”

“No!” she said quickly, this time putting her hand on his arm. “It’s fine. I said you could.” She paused, then added, “It’s nice, actually.”

She smiled at him then, and after a moment, he returned it. “Then you should probably stop calling me ‘Alenko.’”

“Okay, Kaidan,” she replied. “Now let’s go find us a turian C-Sec officer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo this chapter is posting a little late and almost didn’t post at all this weekend (and there may be delays on chapters coming up) because the rural community where I teach is currently under Level 2 and Level 3 evacuations due to a wildfire threatening the town. We managed to have our first day of school (virtually) on Tuesday but then canceled classes the rest of the week. The fire is still 0% contained, so I’m not sure what this coming week looks like yet. I live 30 miles away from the fire so I am personally doing okay for now (other than being choked by intense smoke), but a lot of my colleagues and students who live out in that community have been/are being affected. Reading/writing is a good distraction, but this is a chaotic and uncertain time. It has been a rough week for Oregon and the entire West Coast, so please keep everyone dealing with wildfires in your thoughts!


	5. Chasing Leads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of quick notes. I am probably taking some liberties with what Kaidan can do with his barrier, but I wanted Kaidan to be really talented with his barrier but not have any sort of biotic sphere-type ability: so he can hold a barrier over himself and one other person. (I also have a particular reason for doing this that's not combat-related.) Also, I'm reasoning that while general info about what happened on Akuze is something that might be public knowledge (or at least searchable on the extranet), the Alliance would probably have kept the identity of the sole survivor under wraps as much as possible. It always felt weird when someone would randomly bring up a traumatic piece of Shepard's past like it's nothing. (They'd basically be like: "Oh yeah, you were at Akuze!" or "Right, you lost your whole family on Mindoir." Um, yeah. Thank you for reminding me about that right now.)
> 
> Anyway, I know it's been a little while, but here's another chapter. Enjoy!

“I can’t believe the Council ignored all our evidence against Saren,” Williams complained as she and John waited for their slowly descending elevator to reach the main level of the Presidium. Sera and Alenko had gone their own way and grabbed a rapid transit to the lower wards since they had further to travel.

“Saren’s one of their best operatives. He and Anderson have a history. We don’t exactly have compelling evidence,” John replied, holding up a hand and raising fingers as he ticked off the factors working against them. “They were bound to side with him.” He frowned slightly as he listened to a news report about the attack on Eden Prime playing quietly from the elevator’s speakers in the background.

“What, so now we just chase leads while that smug turian—”

“That’s politics, Williams,” John said abruptly, cutting her off. John didn’t like the situation any better than Williams, but he knew complaining about it wouldn’t help them any.

“I hate politics,” she grumbled.

“Same here, Chief,” he replied. John thought he saw a look of gratitude flit across her face when he glanced in her direction.

The elevator door slid open, depositing them on the main level of the Presidium.

“Which way?” Williams said, eyes wide as she took in the expansive view. When they had passed through earlier, Sera had been hastily ushering them, at John’s insistence, directly to the Tower. Now that they had a minute to look around, John had to admit that the Presidium was an impressive if somewhat ostentatious piece of construction.

“Let’s ask,” John replied, shrugging his shoulders. He had been to the Citadel before, but it was a large place, and most of the time he’d been here with others, like Sera, who had known where they were going. He wasn't above asking for directions if he needed them, and a few meters ahead, a holographic asari VI waited to provide directions to Citadel visitors.

They approached, and the VI began to speak in a melodious female voice: “Greetings, and welcome to the Presidium.”

“She seems… friendly,” Williams said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

“My name is Avina, and I am pleased to be your virtual guide throughout this level of the space station,” the VI-named-Avina continued.

“Fine,” John said, interrupting. “I need directions to the Financial District.”

There was a slight pause while Avina processed his request. “The Financial District is where a number of businesses offer various goods and services to their exclusive clientele.”

“That doesn’t help us, you stupid computer,” Williams grumbled.

Avina continued without missing a beat, “To reach the Financial District from this terminal, please proceed along the walkway that can be found to my left.” Avina then gestured towards a walkway and bridge that crossed over the landscaped water reservoir that appeared to run along the entire circumference of the Presidium ring.

“Thank you for using Avina. Have a pleasant day,” Avina concluded. The VI fell silent and returned to its blank default state.

“Okay, then,” John said. “I guess it’s this way.” He gestured and they set off towards the bridge that led towards their destination. They walked in silence for a minute, taking in the admittedly spectacular views of the well-manicured Presidium grounds.

“They’ve built themselves quite the lake,” Williams observed. John was about to point out that the monument they were passing appeared to be a replica of a mass relay, when she added, “Wonder if anyone ever drowned in it?”

He looked at her askance before replying. “That’s a bit... pessimistic, Williams.”

“Sorry, Commander, but a pessimist is just what an optimist calls a realist.”

“I don’t think anyone’s ever called me an optimist before, Chief,” John said with a huff. He wasn’t lying, either. Between him and Sera, Sera definitely had the more positive disposition. Sera was the Survivor; John was… the Butcher of Torfan. That usually precluded people from ascribing too many positive qualities to him.

Williams glanced over at him before adding knowingly, “I suppose not.” She continued, “But don’t you think this place is a little too perfect? It’s like they’re hiding something.”

John didn’t reply, and for the next few minutes, they continued making their way towards the financial offices in silence. As they walked, John thought about what Williams had been suggesting with her comments. He was generally mistrustful of power players and their motivations, and the Citadel housed the biggest power players in the galaxy. And yet, by trying to become a Spectre, wasn’t he trying to become one of them? Wouldn't he be forced to play their games?

He wondered how Sera felt about that and about their Spectre candidacies in general. Was this something she wanted? He couldn’t really see her kowtowing to the Council or the whims of political creatures, but here they both were, poised to become the first of humanity’s Council Spectres. John hadn’t been able to speak privately with his sister at all since he’d arrived back on the Citadel; he really needed to make sure they had an opportunity to talk later today once they’d finished chasing down their separate leads.

Williams’ voice drew him out of his thoughts as they reached the Financial District and approached a door marked as Barla Von’s office. “We’re here, sir,” she said.

“Right,” he replied. What was it Sera had said? Barla Von was one of the Shadow Broker’s agents, and he would be helpful—for a cost. John wondered what the price for his help today would be. He didn’t have much in the way of funds, but he figured the Shadow Broker and his agents likely dealt in other forms of ‘currency’ anyway. John, however, wasn’t really inclined to pay anyone, even an agent of the Shadow Broker, _any_ price for information.

“What’s this?” said a volus sitting behind a small desk as soon as John entered the office, William trailing right behind him. “Two of the Earth-clan?” John sensed Williams tense at the label.

“Yes, my name is Commander Shepard—” he began, but Barla Von cut him off before he could say more.

“Hmm ... I’ve met Commander Shepard … and she’s much prettier than you are.” His speech was characterized by short phrases intercut with deep inhales on a respirator—constantly having to wear a pressurized breathing suit was the price the volus had to pay in order to live off of their homeworld, John knew. Williams choked back a laugh at Von’s comment, and when John gave her a sidelong glance, she schooled her features into a neutral expression. He turned back to Von.

“That was my sister, Commander Sera Shepard. I’m Commander John Shepard,” John explained, not nearly as amused as Williams. “My sister said you’d met and that you were _very helpful_.” John inclined his head expectantly as he said the last two words.

Von looked up at him, apparently studying John for a long moment before responding. “You were at Torfan, correct? … You led the final assault against the enemy base … if memory serves.” 

John frowned. He wasn’t sure why the volus would bring up Torfan of all things. “I was also with my sister at Elysium. And at a number of merc and pirate bases over the past few years. Would you like me to have my entire military dossier sent over?” he replied tersely.

“Forgive me, Earth-clan,” the volus replied, holding his hands up placatingly. “My job makes it necessary for me to keep informed. ... That’s all.”

“Look,” Williams said in a not-so-subtle effort to hurry the conversation along. “We heard you work for the Shadow Broker. Do you have any information about Saren?”

Von paused a moment before answering. “You’re very blunt,” he said to Williams. “But you’re right. … I am an agent for the Shadow Broker. … And I do know something about Saren.”

John raised an eyebrow. He was surprised the volus admitted his connection to the Shadow Broker so openly. “I hear your information can be expensive,” he supplied. This would be the crux of it. Barla Von had information John wanted, and now Von knew it. What would he require as a price? And how could John get the information without paying it?

“Normally … this information would cost a small fortune, … but these are exceptional circumstances,” Von replied. John froze as he waited for Von to continue. “So I am going to give it to you ... for free.”

“What’s the catch?” Williams cut in quickly. Her brow was furrowed in an expression of suspicion.

“Williams…” John said her name quietly but with a note of warning. Von was apparently about to give them the information they needed at no cost; he didn’t want to rile the volus up by showing open disdain for his offer or for him.

“There is no catch. … The Shadow Broker is quite ... upset with Saren right now. ... They used to do a lot of business. ... Until Saren turned on him.”

John wasn’t surprised by this revelation. Apparently Saren had been Spectre Kryik’s mentor once, and he had killed him in spite of that. It wasn’t a leap to imagine Saren betraying a business partner, even one as dangerous as the Shadow Broker. John crossed his arms in front of his chest and said, “So Saren betrayed the Shadow Broker. Imagine that.”

“No matter what you think of Saren … he’s not stupid. … He knows the Shadow Broker is a valuable ally,” Von said. “Turning on him doesn’t make sense. … Not unless something huge was at stake.”

“I don’t see how knowing that Saren and the Shadow Broker had a lover’s spat helps us any,” Williams said with disdain. Again, John wasn’t pleased by Williams’ interruption or her tone. She had been displaying fairly open hostility towards non-humans since they’d picked her up on Eden Prime, and he couldn’t afford for her attitudes—whether he agreed with them or not—to affect their mission. However, he let her question stand. He was also wondering how Von’s information would be useful to him, and he wanted to know what the volus’s response would be.

“I don’t know the details,” Von said dismissively, “... but the Shadow Broker hired a freelancer to deal with it. … A krogan mercenary.”

John blinked in surprise. The Shadow Broker wanted to take down Saren? That would certainly make John’s job easier if he succeeded, though he doubted that a random krogan mercenary had any real chance of succeeding in that task on his own. But if they could track down this krogan, it might lead them to Saren. “Okay, about this mercenary: how do I find him?”

“I heard he was paying Citadel Security a visit. … If you hurry … you can probably catch him before he leaves,” Von replied.

“Why would a krogan want to speak with C-Sec?” Williams asked skeptically.

Von made a wet, spluttering sound, which John interpreted as the volus-version of a laugh. “I doubt the visit was entirely his choice. … You’ll need to speak with him ... if you want to know more.”

“We should go. Come on, Williams,” John said, turning to leave.

“Goodbye, Commander Shepard ...,” Barla Von called as John started to head towards the door. “Please tell Commander Shepard that I send my regards. ... It's been too long since we've spoken.”

John was confused by the comment for a moment, then realized Von was talking about Sera. He hesitated, then glanced back and gave the volus a curious look. “Uh, yeah. Sure.” Then he followed Williams out the door of Von’s office.

After the door slid shut behind them, John paused to look in both directions along the Presidium, trying to get his bearings.

“To get to the C-Sec offices, I believe we need to head back that w—” John began to tell Williams, when he was suddenly interrupted by his omni-tool pinging with an alert. He pulled up the display, frowning as he read the brief message. “Sera and Alenko were just attacked by two assassins outside of Chora’s Den,” he summarized for Williams.

“Are they okay?” Williams asked. “The commander wasn’t equipped for combat when we left them up in the Tower.”

John hesitated. Williams was right—Sera hadn’t been wearing armor, nor had she been armed, as far as he had noticed. “Well... she says they’re fine,” he said. “And she thinks the assassins were sent by Saren.”

“Best be on our guard, then,” Williams said. If there was one thing he'd learned about Williams so far, it was that she didn’t back down from a fight. His sister was the same way.

“Agreed. Let’s move out.” John turned to the right and led them past a large, upscale emporium where a hanar shopkeeper was selling a variety of items. As they continued on their way, John decided to go out on a limb and ask a personal question he’d been curious about since Eden Prime. “So, Williams, I’ve been meaning to ask you a question. You and Lieutenant Alenko seem friendly.”

Williams shot him a cryptic look. “That’s not a question, Commander." Her expression then changed into one of amusement, like she was holding back a laugh. Of course she was making fun of him. John grimaced and rubbed at the back of his neck.

“Just wondering if there was any personal interest there, that’s all. It’s, uh, important for me to know what’s going on with the crew dynamics,” he said, trying to sound nonchalant. He had been supportive of Alenko’s interest in Sera, but he felt a brotherly obligation to ensure he wasn’t encouraging that interest if there might be something else going on.

“What—between me and _Alenko_?” Williams asked. She seemed thrown by his question. “Um, no. And anyway... I thought... Well, I hope I’m not crossing a line here, but I thought I sort of picked up on something between the LT and the commander today.” She glanced at John to see how he was going to react to her observation.

John sighed inwardly with relief. “You noticed it, too, huh?”

“Yeah. Alenko isn’t exactly... smooth,” she said with a devious laugh. “And I fully intend on teasing him about it whenever I get the chance.”

“Within reason, Chief,” John warned, though only half-seriously. “I don’t need my staff lieutenant and my new gunnery chief at each other’s throats.”

“No worries, Skipper. I have three sisters. I’m well-practiced in sibling-level mockery.”

John chuckled as they reached the end of the walkway where a set of stairs curved upwards and led to an upper-level bridge that crossed over the reservoir and back to the other side of the Presidium. He was pretty sure that on the other side they’d find an elevator that would take them down to C-Sec. He was about to point them across the bridge, when his omni-tool pinged another alert.

Williams looked over with interest. “Is that them again? Has there been a development?”

John stopped walking and pulled up the message on his tool’s display. “Not sure. One sec.” He skimmed through the message, which turned out to not be from Sera or Alenko. He didn’t have the time or patience to deal with _this_ message right now, however, so he simply shook his head and tried to get back them on track. “It’s not from them. Okay, we just have to go across this bridge, and then I think we’re there,” John said, placing a foot on the bottom step.

“Wait—what’s in there, do you think?” Williams asked suddenly, pointing at an unmarked doorway opposite the stairs.

John turned to look over his shoulder. “How should I know?” he replied. “Come on, we’re supposed to be hurrying to intercept a krogan, remember?”

“But aren’t you curious? This is the _Presidium_ —and there’s a mysterious, unmarked entrance? I want to know what’s in there.”

John almost rolled his eyes, but that felt too much like something his sister would do. “Williams, we don't have time for this,” he said instead.

“Come on, it’ll only take two seconds,” she insisted, moving towards the doorway.

“Fine—two seconds, and then we’re heading to C-Sec. We don’t have time to waste, Williams,” he said slightly irritably.

“Got it, Commander,” she replied happily.

He followed her through the doorway and down a small set of stairs. When they reached the bottom, he paused, surprised at what they encountered. He had been expecting an abandoned storage room or a long hallway leading to a locked door or other some such mystery. Instead, they were met by an attractive asari greeter who was waiting at the entryway to what looked like a swanky waiting room. There was still no signage indicating what this place was or what the patrons inside were waiting for.

Not sure what else to do and unable to leave since the asari had already spotted them, John walked over to her. 

“Hi, I’m Commander Shepard, and this is Gunnery Chief Williams,” he said, unsure of where else to begin.

“Welcome,” the asari greeted them pleasantly. “I am Nelyna. I don’t recognize you as one of our expected clients today. Would you like me to see when the Consort will be able to meet with you?”

John had to school his features to hide his reaction. This was the establishment of a high-end consort? Oh boy.

“Uh, no thanks. I think I’m done here,” John replied quickly. He could have sworn he heard Williams snickering behind him. He was glad one of them found this amusing.

“Aww, well I hope you will return again in the future. We always enjoy seeing new clients—” The asari was interrupted by the soft ping of a comm notification. “Yes, Sha’ira?” she said after raising her hand to her ear.

They waited awkwardly while Nelyna listened to someone speaking through her comm. John chanced a look at Williams, who raised her eyebrows at him and shrugged.

When John looked back at the asari, she was giving him an interested look. “Yes. Of course, Mistress,” she said. Then she addressed John again. “Huh. It appears the Consort has taken notice of you. She’d like to meet with you now.”

This time, John couldn’t keep the flush from his face. Oh geez. This consort wanted to meet with him? What in the world for? He ran his hand nervously over his buzzed hair. “What does she want to see me for?”

“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask her yourself. Just head upstairs. She’ll be waiting for you,” Nelyna replied sweetly. She gestured through the waiting room area and pointed to a hallway at the far end.

“Thanks. I guess,” John replied, waving for Williams to follow him. He began walking past asari and female human attendants clad in matching pink and purple outfits who were sitting on plush couches and speaking with clients. “Don’t say a word, Williams,” John muttered as they made their way quickly through the waiting room.

Their attention was diverted for a moment by a well-dressed salarian sitting alone on a couch. When they glanced in the salarian’s direction, he said to them, “I see even humans find the Consort irresistible.”

“No!” John said. He said it perhaps a little too emphatically because the salarian appeared startled. “ _She_ asked to see _me_ ,” he insisted.

The salarian looked skeptical but merely replied, “Well, enjoy. An hour here is better than a year on leave.”

Williams grabbed John’s arm and pulled him away, whispering, “Let’s keep moving, shall we, Commander?”

“Why the hell did I let you drag me in here, Williams?” he argued. “We have somewhere to be. Let’s just leave.”

“What? You can't leave now. The _Consort_ wants to see you!”

He shot her a dirty look. “Fine, but this is your fault. I take no responsibility for whatever is about to happen,” he replied.

Williams laughed. “Yessir. Now come _on_.”

They passed by another attendant who, to John’s chagrin, assured them that the Consort had “quite a gift” before heading up a set of stairs that led to a closed door.

John paused outside the doorway, unsure whether he wanted to continue.

“What? What is it?” Williams asked.

“Um, maybe you should stay out here,” he replied. He looked at Williams who was rolling her eyes. Damn, she really did remind him of Sera sometimes. “She’s a _consort_ , Williams. Maybe they don’t have consorts where you come from, but—”

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” she said, pushing him forward and reaching for the door’s panel.

The door opened and John stepped reluctantly inside, Williams remaining a couple meters behind him. At the far end of the room stood an asari wearing an outfit much like Nelyna and the attendants down in the waiting room below had been wearing. Her back was to him, and he wasn’t sure whether she had noticed him enter until he took a couple more steps into the room and she spoke.

“That is close enough, Commander. I’ve heard a great many things about you since your arrival here on our Citadel,” Sha’ira said without turning around. He had only arrived a short while ago. How had she heard about him already?

“I was told you wanted to speak with me?” John asked quickly. Best to get this over with as quickly as possible.

“I have a certain problem that could use your expertise,” she said mysteriously.

This isn’t exactly what John had been expecting from the Consort. What expertise did she think he possessed? “Tell me about this problem that you’re having.”

“I have a friend—Septimus, a retired turian general. I won’t discuss the details, but he wanted me to be more than I could be.” Sha’ira turned and began to walk towards John. “We had a falling out. Now he spends his days in Chora’s Den drinking and spreading lies about me.”

Now that she was facing him, John had to admit that there was something alluring about the asari—well, this one in particular, since asari were objectively appealing in general. Her skin was a soft shade of periwinkle blue—nearly the same color as his own eyes—and she wore a shade of silvery lipstick that accentuated her lips. It was her rich, blue eyes, though, that John was drawn to now that he could see them. Something about them was at the same time sultry and soulful; he could see how some might find them captivating. He shook his head slightly as if trying to wake himself from a daze.

“If you would speak to Septimus as a fellow soldier, I believe he will listen to you and let the matter be.” As Sha’ira finished laying out her request, she reached up a hand and softly caressed John’s cheek, pausing a moment before withdrawing. She seemed unbothered by the fact that Williams was also in the room, standing only a short distance away and certainly within earshot.

John swallowed, then cleared his throat before speaking. “I won’t make any promises, but I’ll see what I can do.”

She ignored the fact that he had only vaguely agreed to help with her problem. “Appeal to his sense of honor. Remind him of his position as a general,” she advised.

Suddenly, to John’s dismay, Sha’ira leaned in and embraced him, closing her eyes and turning her head as if to speak sweetly into his ear. He froze and waited for the whole awkward encounter to be over.

“If you can convince him to stop spreading lies about me, I would be very grateful,” she said, finally pulling away. She took a step back, then turned away from him again. “Now, I must ask you to take your leave. I have many clients waiting to see me,” she finished, apparently done with him.

John let out a breath, then turned and almost walked directly into Williams. Her eyes were glittering with mirth at his obvious discomfort. “We’re _leaving_ , Williams,” he urged sternly, continuing straight past her and out the door.

“Coming, Commander!” she called cheerfully, falling into step behind him. John strode straight past the clients in the waiting room, who looked at him curiously—John realized that it must have made for an amusing sight, visiting the Consort only briefly and then practically running out of there. He even rushed past Nelyna, who looked like she wanted to say something as he breezed past her. Certain his face was now flushed an embarrassing shade of red, John didn’t pause until they were back outside on the Presidium.

“The look on your face!” Williams said, bursting with laughter when she finally came to a stop beside him. She was bent over, hands on her knees as she laughed at him.

He crossed his arms in feigned anger. “It’s not funny, Williams. That was entirely your fault, _by the way_. And I won’t forget it.” He looked over at her and gave her his best scowl.

“Oh, lighten up a little, Shepard. Nothing happened,” she said, still laughing as she straightened.

“Yeah, well, we wasted ten minutes on that nonsense,” he grumbled. “Let’s go.”

“Totally worth it. Right behind you, Skipper.”

  
*****

  
A short while later, John and Williams finally stepped off the elevator that led down to the C-Sec offices. They found themselves in a large atrium bustling with a host of mostly turian and human officers. John looked around but didn’t see any sign of a krogan mercenary—and he figured a krogan mercenary would be hard to miss.

“Damn it. I think we must have missed him,” John grumbled.

“Maybe not,” Williams said. “Let’s ask someone.”

John surveyed the room and noticed a small group of C-Sec officers standing together off to the side. Two of the officers were turian, but one was a human—and he seemed slightly out of sorts… Perhaps the way one might feel after a confrontation with a krogan mercenary? It was as good a place to start as any.

He hurried across the room and over to the officer. “Good day, officer,” he greeted when the man looked up at him. The officer's eyes grew wide with recognition when he saw who was approaching. The man had obviously recognized John. “I’m Commander Shepard. Can I have a moment of your time?”

The officer simply nodded, clearly overwhelmed by the prospect of being spoken to by the famous Commander Shepard. That would either work in their favor by making the man more inclined to help or it would work against them by making the man too intimidated to talk—hopefully it would end up being the former.

“I’m looking for a krogan,” John said. “Sorry, I don’t know his name, but he’s a mercenary, if that helps.” The man glanced nervously at Williams then back at John.

“You must be looking for Wrex. You just missed him,” the officer replied apologetically.

Williams cursed under her breath. “Sorry, Skipper. That’s my fault.”

“What’s done is done, Williams. Officer, can you tell me which way he went? It’s imperative that I speak with him.” Here’s where John hoped the man would feel inclined to offer them assistance.

“Well,” the officer began, glancing around to see if anyone else was listening. “I was ordered to bring Wrex in for questioning.” He swallowed hard before continuing. “And that went about as well as you’d imagine. After that, he announced to practically all of C-Sec that he was going to kill Fist. Then he left.”

This mercenary was out to ruin Saren _and_ some guy named Fist? Busy krogan. “I’ve never heard of this Fist. Who is he?” John asked.

“He owns Chora’s Den. I’m sure that’s where Wrex is headed. If you hurry, you might be able to catch him. The quickest route is down that corridor—there’s an elevator that will take you down to the lower wards. Just… watch yourself around Wrex,” the officer warned.

“Thanks. You’ve really helped us out. I appreciate it.” John held out his hand and the officer shook it enthusiastically, still looking a bit star-struck.

“Anytime! Good luck!” he added as John turned to head in the direction the man had indicated.

Williams hurried alongside him and asked, “Fist owns Chora’s Den? Do you think this has anything to do with what happened to the commander and Alenko?”

“I’m not sure, Williams. But let’s see if we can’t intercept this krogan before he causes too much trouble down there.”

  
*****

  
“Out of my way, _tiny human_ ,” a loud, booming voice growled as John and Williams neared the corridor that led to Chora’s Den. It seemed they had found their krogan mercenary.

“Who the hell are you?” replied a female voice that John immediately recognized.

“ _Oh_ _shit,_ ” John swore, then dashed around the corner to find an enormous, red-plated krogan with a shotgun in his hand towering over his sister. The shotgun was still pointed at the ground, but still.

“Hey!” John shouted, no plan in mind other than to draw the attention of the two strong-willed individuals at each other’s throats in front of him. There were four faces, in fact, and that turned to look at John and Williams as they raced over to the group. It appeared that Sera and Alenko had managed to recruit Garrus into helping with their investigation, though John had no idea what they were doing back here at Chora’s Den when they had been attacked here just a short while ago.

“John?” Sera said in confusion as soon as she had realized it was him.

The krogan grumbled, “What now? More humans?”

“What are you guys doing here?” John asked as he approached. He nodded at Alenko, who saluted briefly in return. Garrus stood slightly to the side, but John noticed that he had his rifle drawn, as if prepared for the confrontation with Wrex to take a turn for the worst. The turian was a law enforcement officer, John knew, so he probably had good instincts for this sort of thing.

“ _We’re_ here to talk to a guy named Fist about—” Sera began, but Wrex interrupted her before she could finish.

“I’m here to kill Fist. So get out of my way, tiny human,” he growled at Sera, leaning towards her menacingly.

“Quit calling me that,” Sera spat at the krogan. “My name’s Shepard.” John had to hand it to his sister—she certainly was fearless. Alenko and Garrus at least had the sense to look wary of the giant krogan in front of them. Sera looked ready for a fight.

The krogan paused, then tilted his head, studying her. “Shepard. Commander Shepard? _You_ are the Butcher of Torfan?” he asked skeptically.

Was everyone going to bring that up today?

“Wrong Shepard,” Sera said, shaking her head and pointing at John. “He is.”

Wrex turned then to look at John and examine him more carefully, though that also gave John a chance to study the krogan. He was massive, probably 300-kg even without his armor, and he had a wicked-looking scar that ran from his forehead-plate all the way down his neck. He wondered what could have caused such an injury and how he had survived it. This krogan was a tough old bastard.

“You’re talking to Commanders John and Sera Shepard, the Heroes of Elysium, krogan,” Alenko explained. John noticed Sera give Alenko a strange look, but she didn't say anything.

“Hmm,” Wrex replied, considering both Sera and John now. He seemed to decide he no longer wanted to shoot any of them, and he sheathed his shotgun for the time being. John let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. “The name’s Wrex. We’re all warriors, Shepards, so out of respect, I’ll to give you a fair warning. I _am_ going to kill Fist.”

John didn’t particularly care if Wrex killed this Fist character, but he looked at Sera and asked, “We're after Saren. Why do you want to talk to Fist?”

Sera crossed her arms before replying. “We got a tip from a doctor in the wards that she’d sent a quarian to see Fist. That quarian wanted to trade information for a place to hide. We have reason to believe she has intel that links Saren to the geth.”

“If we get our hands on that evidence,” Williams chimed in excitedly, “we can prove that Saren’s a traitor! The Council will have to listen to us.”

John considered this development. If it was true, they needed to keep Wrex away from Fist long enough to interrogate him about this quarian. After that, he couldn't care less about what happened to Fist.

“Look, Wrex. I’m going to level with you. It’s Saren we’re after, not Fist, but we need to talk to Fist first if we’re going to track down this quarian. Can I count on you to help us get to him?” John gave Wrex a long look, which the krogan returned.

“Fine,” he growled. “I want Fist, but I’ll help you. You can have the quarian,” Wrex said. A quick frown from Sera told John that she hadn’t approved of the way Wrex had talked about the quarian like she was a possession he could give away, but he set that aside for the moment.

“Alright. Do we have an understanding?” John asked, looking around at each person in the group. Everyone nodded, despite not necessarily looking particularly pleased about the arrangement.

“Well, I guess I’m glad guys you showed up when you did,” Sera said. “Fist must have gotten word we’re all after him. The whole club is full of his men just waiting to ambush us. Six of us will have an easier time taking them out than the three of us alone would have. Since you’re here now, John, I’ll defer to your lead. Good?”

John nodded, grateful to his sister for seamlessly handing over command of her team to him; they were the same rank, after all, and she led small teams of soldiers all the time. But in a firefight, it wouldn’t do for their small group to be squabbling over a divided command. They were on Sera’s turf, but this was his crew and his investigation.

“Good. Everyone ready?” he asked, looking at Sera in particular after what Williams had pointed out earlier. It seemed that she still wasn’t wearing armor, though she had managed to arm herself with a pistol at least. John guessed that Garrus had given it to her, seeing as it was a typical law enforcement weapon, and it spoke well of the turian that he had been willing to give Sera, a human he'd just met, his spare sidearm.

“Sera, give us a brief sitrep.”

“Kaidan and I were just here a little while ago and the whole place was full of civilians,” she explained. John noted her use of the lieutenant’s first name but didn’t acknowledge it. Something else for them to talk about later, he mused. “I didn’t see any when I scoped out the club a few minutes ago, but I can’t be sure they’re all safely out of there. Keep an eye out. There are gunmen stationed around the club, including above the bar. Also, the club isn’t particularly large, but the whole center area is taken up by a large, circular bar. I’d suggest we split up into two teams and each circle around one side until we meet up again on the other.” John noticed that Alenko was nodding as Sera spoke; he agreed with her assessment, then.

“Alright. Then Sera, Alenko, and Garrus will take the left; Williams, Wrex, and I will take right. Alenko,” John began but then paused, not sure how his sister would react to what he was about to say. “Sera’s the only one of us without armor. Can you…?”

“You got it, Commander,” Alenko replied quickly, picking up immediately on what John was asking. He held up a hand that began to glow with biotic energy, and a blue barrier began to shimmer over both Alenko and Sera. John found himself impressed yet again by the sentinel's biotic abilities.

Sera's eyes widened in brief surprise as the barrier fell into place, but she didn’t object. “Are you boys done? Can we do this, please?” She held up her pistol.

“I agree with the tiny human,” said Wrex, grinning at Sera, who scowled back at him. “Let’s do this already.”

John readied his own assault rifle. “Right. Follow me.”

They burst into Chora’s Den and found themselves immediately assaulted by gunfire. The fight barely lasted a minute, however, with each squad easily taking out the gunmen positioned throughout their half of the club. At one point, John’s shields took a hit, but by the time he looked up and noticed a man sniping down at him from a perch above the bar itself, the man was taken out before John could even raise his rifle. Sera was grinning at him from where she emerged on the other side of the bar as their two teams met on the far side.

“Everyone okay?” he asked, checking over their group.

“Oh yeah. I love the smell of fresh blood mixed with stale booze,” Williams quipped. Alenko nodded, releasing the barrier he had been holding over himself and Sera during the fight. Everyone else seemed none the worse for wear.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re all fine. Fist is probably in his office back there. Let’s go,” Wrex said impatiently as he gestured towards the end of the hallway at the back of the club. John narrowed his eyes at the krogan; he had invited him to join his team, but he didn’t exactly seem like a willing team player. He’d need to keep an eye on him.

They easily took out two men who were guarding the door to Fist’s office, then made their way down the hall. John reached out and hit the panel, opening the door to reveal two more men with guns hiding behind crates just on the other side.

“Stop right there! Don’t come any closer!” one of the men yelled, aiming a gun directly at John. John sighed. He could see the gun shaking slightly and the man’s finger wasn’t even near the trigger.

“Warehouse workers,” Williams guessed. “All the real guards must be dead.”

“Stay back or we’ll shoot!” the man insisted. He sounded a lot braver than his body language indicated.

John considered his options. He didn’t want to kill these men if he didn’t have to, and he certainly knew that Sera wouldn’t approve of killing the men needlessly. But if they wouldn’t leave peacefully, he’d do what he needed to in order to get to Fist. They needed to find that quarian quickly. He settled on an intimidating approach.

“We just killed fifty bodyguards to get in here. What do you think we’ll do to you?” he snapped at the men. He didn’t even raise his weapon, but the two workers lowered theirs.

“Oh man, screw Fist,” one of them yelped.

“He doesn’t pay us enough for this!” the other one cried. The workers dropped their weapons to the ground and bolted back out through the bar.

Wrex stepped forward to stand beside John. “It would have been quicker to just kill them,” he grumbled.

“Shooting people isn’t always the answer— _Wrex_ , was it?” Sera shot back.

“Alright you, two. Fist is waiting,” John said. Sera glared pointedly at John, but he ignored her. They could all argue later when their quarry wasn’t waiting for them in the next room.

He led the group down the corridor to a double set of doors that opened onto a small office area. He slowly made his way into the room, keeping to the wall on his left until he could get a glimpse of what they would be facing. He peered around the corner and spotted two currently powered-down turrets flanking a large desk, behind which crouched an armed man he presumed was Fist.

John turned back and gestured to Sera, who stepped up beside him. “There are two defensive turrets, not yet activated. Can you do anything about them?” he asked quietly.

Sera swiftly pulled up her omni-tool and began rapidly typing a series of commands. After a moment, she nodded and whispered, “Without more time, all I could do was sabotage them, but that should at least cause a momentary delay when Fist tries to activate them.”

“It’ll give us a chance to safely get into position. That’ll help,” John said. “Left and right, just like before, everybody. Ready?”

Sera looked back and gestured to Alenko, who John noticed was watching her carefully. Alenko nodded back to her, then lifted up his hand and brought up a biotic barrier around them both for a second time. John was pleased that the two seemed to be getting along well, even working together well in combat.

“On my mark then,” John said. He signaled and the two teams moved forward. The defensive turrets malfunctioned, just as Sera had said they would, and by the time they powered up properly, both teams had settled into place on either side of the office. The turrets exploded almost simultaneously as each group had taken aim at the turret on their side, and he heard Fist yelp as he cowered behind a section of wall that was momentarily shielding him. John aimed a few shots at the man’s leg, which was not tucked in safely behind the wall, and Fist collapsed to the ground, shrieking in pain and clutching at his shin.

“Wait! Don’t kill me! I surrender!” the man cried pathetically. John stormed up and pointed his gun at the man as he towered over him.

“John,” Sera said under her breath, coming up to stand beside him as the others fell in behind the pair of them.

“I need information,” he said to Fist, ignoring Sera. “Where’s the quarian?”

“She’s not here! I don’t know where she is. That’s the truth,” Fist replied.

“He’s no use to you now. Let me kill him,” Wrex said eagerly, unsheathing his shotgun.

“What? We don’t know where the quarian is yet,” Sera said angrily. “He might still tell us something useful.”

Fist flailed desperately on the ground. “Wait! Wait!” the man begged. “I don’t know where the quarian is, but I know where you can find her!”

Sera shot Wrex an I-told-you-so look that John had been on the receiving end of many times himself.

Fist began getting to his feet when John angled down his gun to the floor, no longer pointing it at the man. “The quarian isn’t here. Said she’d only deal with the Shadow Broker himself,” Fist explained.

“Face to face?” Wrex scoffed. “Impossible. Even I was hired through an agent.”

Fist began brushing himself off, clearly feeling that his situation had markedly improved now that he’d realized he had information they wanted. “True. Nobody meets the Shadow Broker. Ever. Even I don’t know his true identity. But _she_ didn’t know that. I told her I’d set a meeting up.”

“What? You lied to that poor girl?” Garrus growled. Sera seemed to agree with Garrus’s sentiment because she crossed her arms and glared at Fist.

Fist just shrugged. “When she shows up, it’ll be Saren’s men waiting for her.”

“You make me sick,” Sera said, clearly disgusted.

John stepped forward and grabbed Fist by the collar, practically lifting him off the ground. “Give us the location. Now.”

First gave another terrified yelp. “H-Here in the wards. There’s a back alley by the markets. She’s supposed to meet them right now. You can make it if you hurry.”

He released Fist, who stumbled a bit as he regained his footing. John had barely taken a step backwards away from the man when suddenly the deafening sound of a shotgun being fired right next to him had him freezing in place. He watched as the nearly point-blank blast took Fist in the chest and sent him crashing to the floor.

“What the fuck?” Sera's voice was laced with warning.

John whirled around to see that his sister had raised her pistol and was aiming it directly at the krogan’s head. Wrex didn't even acknowledge the danger he was in as he just shrugged.

“The Shadow Broker paid me to kill Fist. I don’t leave jobs half-done,” Wrex said matter-of-factly as he sheathed his gun. John wasn’t particularly bothered that Fist was dead, but he didn’t like the way Wrex had gone about it. He took a step towards the krogan, getting right in his face.

“ _Never_ do that again. I’m in charge here,” John snarled. “You ever pull another stunt like that—”

“It was the only contract I had left,” Wrex said before looking directly at Sera. “And don’t we have something more pressing to worry about?” John had to admit that the krogan was right. He looked at Sera, who looked as pissed as he’d ever seen her. She glanced in his direction, and he shook his head at her. She hesitated for a moment, then lowered her pistol.

“That quarian’s dead if we don’t go now,” Garrus said softly from the back of the room. Everyone turned to look at him.

“Garrus is right,” Sera sighed, sheathing her weapon. “Let’s hurry.”

Less than five minutes later, John and the others found themselves outside the entrance to the wards back alley Fist had told them about.

John and Sera lead the way, creeping forward cautiously as they tried to get a read on the situation in the alley. John murmured, “I don’t know what we’re about to walk into. Can you and Alenko focus on the quarian and getting her to safety? The rest of us will focus on taking out whoever Saren has sent to apprehend her.”

Sera nodded, then stepped back to whisper something to Alenko, who nodded back. John noticed that she placed her hand on his arm as she leaned in to speak to him. Williams noticed it, too, and waggled her eyebrows suggestively at John, a smirk on her face. He couldn't keep the small smile from his own lips, then shook his head at her and turned back towards the alleyway.

Moving forward carefully, John, with Sera and Alenko just to his right, crouched and approached a landing that overlooked a long, narrow alley. When they got into position, John could see a small quarian girl facing down a tall turian and a pair of armored thugs who were flanking him and holding weapons.

“Did you bring it?” John heard the turian asked menacingly.

The quarian didn’t even flinch. John was impressed. “Where’s the Shadow Broker? Where’s Fist?” she demanded.

“They’ll be here,” the turian replied. “Where’s the evidence?” As he spoke, he reached up a hand and ran it along the quarian’s hooded cowl and down her shoulder and arm in an overly intimate gesture. John sensed Sera shift uncomfortably from her spot a couple meters away.

The girl slapped the turian's hand away. Brave quarian. “No way. The deal’s off,” she said defiantly.

Just as John sensed that the turian had decided it would be easier for him to just take what he wanted from the quarian, the girl reached into a pouch at her waist, withdrawing something John couldn’t see. She quickly tossed it to one side, then dove in the other direction behind cover, just as a blast detonated and caused the assassins to lose their footing.

“Now!” John shouted, and Williams, Garrus, and Wrex followed him forward, taking aim at the turian and his assassins.

The fight was brief. After John fired the shot that took out the turian, he looked over and saw that Sera had crouched near the quarian girl and was speaking to her. Alenko was poised over them both, a pistol in one hand and his barrier shimmering in place. John rose from his own position behind cover as he heard Wrex take out the final assassin.

“Are you guys alright?” he asked, walking over to Sera and the quarian. Alenko let his barrier fall, and he turned around and reached out a hand to help Sera to her feet. The quarian waved John off and got to her feet on her own.

“I’m fine! But Fist set me up! I knew I couldn’t trust him!” she said. She had a pleasant, lilting voice that made her sound quite young. He wondered just how old she was to be wandering around the Citadel on her own—and somehow already tangled up with Fist and intel about Saren.

“You don’t have to worry about Fist,” John began.

“—I killed him,” Wrex chimed in. He seemed quite pleased with himself, despite the look John gave him.

“Then I guess I have two things to thank you guys for. But who are you?” the quarian asked, tilting her head as she looked at the group. John realized they must make a strange crew.

“My name is Commander Shepard,” John said quickly. There would be time for more introductions later. “We’re looking for evidence to prove Saren’s a traitor.”

“We were hoping you might be able to help us,” Sera added gently.

The quarian nodded. “My name is Tali. Tali-Zorah nar Rayya,” she said with a small bow. “If that is what you seek, then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life. But not here. It isn’t safe.” She began wringing her hands nervously.

“What about the ambassador’s office?” Alenko suggested. “Anderson is waiting for us there anyway.”

John nodded. “Good idea. Would you be willing to come with us?” he asked, addressing the quarian.

Tali seemed to have placed an automatic trust in Sera. She glanced at her, and Sera nodded encouragingly back at the girl. “I want to help,” Tali said finally. “I’ll join you.”

“Look at us,” Sera said, grinning as she gestured to their eclectic team. “Udina’s going to love this.”

John laughed. “He’d better. What’s not to love? We’re bringing him the evidence _he_ requested. Alright, everyone! Move out.”

  
*****

  
“Come _on_ , Kaidan!” Joker begged, turning pleading eyes on the clearly annoyed lieutenant.

The crew that had worked to chase down leads today (plus Joker) were sitting around a large table in the corner of the Dark Star Lounge. It had been a few hours since they’d met with Anderson and Ambassador Udina. John had presented the evidence they’d collected from their investigations, including a recording of Saren admitting to the attack on Eden Prime and plotting with an unknown collaborator that Tali had obtained from a geth memory core she’d recovered. With this new evidence in hand, Ambassador Udina had eagerly agreed to move forward in contacting the Council about setting up a meeting. That meeting was scheduled for 1100 tomorrow morning.

“ _No_ , Joker. I’m not doing it,” replied Alenko sternly, crossing his arms. John was glad to see that his lieutenant wasn’t as reckless as the Normandy’s pilot seemed to be.

With nothing on the agenda until the Council convened again tomorrow, John had convinced Anderson to give their crew 18 hours of shore leave. Joker had suggested going out for drinks as a way of getting to know the new non-human members of their team—which John thought was probably a smart idea for building squad cohesion—so they’d all agreed to come out: John, Joker, Alenko, Williams, Garrus, Tali, and even Wrex. And in a gesture John appreciated, Joker had even insisted that Sera join them even though she wasn’t technically part of the crew. It had been a fun evening, actually, with the alcohol easing the way for the unusual assortment to begin getting to know each other better.

John watched as Joker petulantly slid the bottle of violently neon green liquor that he had stolen from Wrex away from Alenko and back across the table to the krogan. “But you’re a biotic, Kaidan! Your souped-up metabolism can handle it,” he argued.

“It’s ryncol, Joker! Jesus. That stuff’s basically radioactive,” Alenko countered. “I said I’m not drinking it.”

Wrex snatched up the bottle and opened it, downing the contents in one go. “There. _I_ drank it," he grumbled. "Now we don’t have to argue about it anymore.” John thought he caught Garrus smirking, or whatever the turian version of smirking was, into his glass of turian brandy. The quiet former C-Sec officer had kept a fairly low profile during the evening, but John guessed that nothing slipped past the hyper-vigilant detective.

Suddenly, bright peals of laughter bubbled up from the other side of the table where Tali, Sera, and Williams were huddled together and glancing surreptitiously in his direction. John narrowed his eyes and turned his attention more fully to the trio, trying to overhear what they were discussing.

“You should have seen his face!” Williams was saying to a giggling Sera and Tali. They all looked at his direction simultaneously and John crossed his arms.

“What are you telling them, Williams?” he said with feigned annoyance.

“Don’t worry, Skipper. Just filling them in on our visit to the Consort this afternoon,” Williams explained.

Sera raised an eyebrow and adopted a satisfied smirk. “I can’t believe _you_ visited the Consort, John,” she laughed.

John felt himself start to flush. “Accidentally.”

That caused Tali to quickly ask, “How does one _accidentally_ visit a consort?” The girls dissolved in another fit of laughter.

John scowled. “I didn’t visit _a_ consort, I visited _the_ Consort. _By accident_.”

"Uh, huh," Sera said, picking up her drink and finishing it. "Aaand any more talk about my brother visiting the Consort is TMI for me. It's probably time for me to head out, anyway."

"TMI?" Tali asked, tilting her head curiously as she sipped on a dextro-cocktail through a straw.

"Too. Much. Information," Williams replied happily, punctuating each word emphatically before taking another drink of her own cocktail.

John was glad to see that the team was largely getting along, including Williams. He had been worried after some of her comments earlier in the day, but this evening, things seemed to be going well enough.

Sera leaned over and said something quietly to Tali. John couldn't read the quarian's reaction, of course, but it seemed like she had taken a fast liking to Sera. Sera had shown an interest in the girl's comments about the geth earlier and had asked questions about her pilgrimage from the Flotilla. It had been a slightly difficult call to make for John to request that Anderson add the three aliens to the Normandy's crew roster today, but if Sera gave her seal of approval to Garrus and Tali, he figured he couldn't go wrong. He trusted Sera's judgment. Wrex was the one he had the most reservations about, simply because he seemed most likely to try to do things his own way. And because John knew that if he'd be forced to try and stop him from doing things his own way, it wouldn't be an easy thing to do.

Sera stood up and spoke to the table. "I'm heading home, everyone. It was lovely to meet you all today," she said with a gracious smile.

“No! Wait, are you leaving?” Joker whined when he saw Sera get to her feet. “Things were just about to get interesting! I wanted to start taking bets on who your brother could beat in a fight.”

She turned, raised an eyebrow at Joker, and quipped, “You don’t want me playing, Joker. I’d clean you out.” Williams barked out a laugh. Sera gave a small wave and said, “You guys have fun. Good night.”

“But we need you! You’ve got all the insider info. Okay, like who would win in a head-to-head fight: Commander Shepard or a varren?” Joker asked eagerly.

“I don’t know, Joker. Like I said, I—” Sera began, but John cut her off with a wave of his hand.

“What do you mean you don’t know? A varren? I mean, come on, Sis. Obviously I would win,” he asserted.

“Even the tiny human could defeat a varren,” Wrex added. John noticed Sera gave Wrex a sharp look, one he recognized all too well and was grateful not to have turned on himself at the moment. He hid his amusement by taking a swig of his beer.

“Right. You’re right. Too easy,” Joker agreed, apparently oblivious to the exchange between Sera and Wrex. “Alright, what about Commander Shepard against a squad of batarians?”

“Been there, done that,” John replied, doing his best to keep a cocky grin from spread across his face.

“Damn straight, Commander!” Joker laughed then reached out a fist, which John bumped with his own. He chanced a look at his sister, and she did not appear to be amused by his remark, her mouth turned down at the corners. John knew that though Sera had always stood by him and his actions at Torfan, she likely wouldn’t approve of him joking about it. But John had drunk a bit too much by this point to care, and he was feeling swept up by Joker’s buoyant enthusiasm in his game.

“Okay, okay. I’ve got a good one.” Joker pointed at Wrex. “No biotics allowed, our new krogan friend versus our illustrious commander. What do you say, Sera?” John looked at Wrex and felt that the krogan was grinning a bit too widely for John’s liking.  
  
“What do _you_ think?” Wrex asked wryly, bypassing Sera and turning directly at John. “Do you think you could take me, Shepard?” he goaded.

The rest of the table had caught onto the little game Joker was playing and were grinning and turning to each other to discuss the match-up. Williams had leaned over and was whispering something to Alenko, who was frowning at Joker.

John pretended to consider for a moment, then said, “No biotics, Wrex? I could take you.”

“Ha!” Wrex roared, slamming his hands down on the table so hard the empty glasses and bottles littering the surface all rattled. “I’d like to see you try, human.”

“Oh yeah?” John challenged back. “Maybe we can make that happen sometime.”

“Ooo-kay,” Sera said, rolling her eyes. “I’m leaving now. Bye, everyone.”

“No! One more, one more!” Joker begged. “I’ve got it. The match-up of the century right here. This one’s for all the glory.”

Sera just crossed her arms and silently glared at Joker, apparently deciding that hearing the pilot out was the best way to get this over with. Probably smart, John thought.

“Commander Shepard versus—” Joker paused dramatically and surveyed his attentive audience before throwing his arms up in the air. “A thresher maw!”

The entire table erupted in a cacophony of cheers and arguments as everyone began to debate the proposed match-up. John, however, felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He quickly looked up at Sera and saw that the color had drained out of her face and she had a panicked look in her eyes. _Oh, fuck_. That goddamn idiot pilot didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.

Before John could even play interference after Joker’s comment, Sera spun on her heel and strode hurriedly away from the table without another word, causing his crew to fall silent and look at him in confusion when they noticed her abrupt departure. Alenko looked like he was about to get up and run after her.

“Hey, where’s she—” Joker began, but John cut him off with a snarl.

“Goddamnit, Joker!” he snapped, turning to direct his ire at his pilot. John climbed out out his chair and let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand over his hair. He was just as mad at himself as he was at Joker—it might have been Joker who had crossed the line, but it was John who had let things get as far as they had.

“What? What’d I say?” Joker asked, eyes wide. He seemed to genuinely not realize that he’d said anything wrong.

“ _Christ_.” Well, this night had taken a turn. “Just fucking look up Akuze on the extranet while I'm gone. I’ll explain when I get back.” He left behind his bewildered crew and dashed off in the direction Sera had gone. Hopefully he could catch her before she disappeared.

When he reached the open area outside of the Dark Star, John peered over the bustle of late night pedestrians passing through the corridor to see if he could spot his sister. When he didn’t see her, he headed towards the stairs they’d used to reach this level a few hours ago. Just as he was about to pass by Rodam Expeditions, John chanced a look back towards the rapid transit center and spotted Sera standing there waiting for a taxi. Her back was towards him and she had her arms wrapped around herself, but he’d recognize his sister anywhere.

“Sera!” he yelled to her, wanting to make sure she didn’t board a taxi before he could make it back over to her. At the sound of her name, Sera turned and looked in his direction, but she quickly turned back towards the transit hub where a skycar was landing in front of her.

“Hey, wait—” he called out, huffing a bit as he jogged towards her. She took a step towards the skycar and signaled for the salarian driver to wait a moment. Then she paused before turning around to face John, though she didn’t say anything.

John finally reached her and came up to stand in front of her. “Sera, I am so sorry about that,” he said. And he meant it. He hadn’t thought Joker’s little game would get quite so out of hand or inadvertently hit such a tender nerve. “I’m pretty sure Joker didn’t know what the hell he was saying.”

“It’s fine,” she said flatly, not making eye contact with him. John noticed that her gaze remained on the ground and her arms were still wrapped around her midsection. He also noticed that she distinctly said _It’s fine_ and not _I’m fine_.

“Sera, come on. Let’s just—”

“Just what?” Sera interrupted, raising her eyes to meet his. “Go back in there so I can talk to your whole crew about why I suddenly left? So they can look at me with horror or pity in their eyes while I explain what happened to me? No thanks, John.”

“Well, it sounds like maybe it would do you some good to talk. You're obviously not over it,” John replied. She stiffened, and her reaction immediately told him that this was exactly the wrong thing to say to his sister right now.

“Guess what? I have talked about it. To Mom,” Sera said, glaring at him. “Speaking of—have _you_ talked to Mom lately? You promised you would call her.”

“That has nothing to do with—” John began, but Sera cut him off again.

“I know you ignored a message from her today. Does she know that you were injured on your mission yet?”

John huffed in annoyance. “No, she doesn’t. And anyway, I’m fine. There’s nothing to tell her.”

“Riiight,” she replied skeptically.

“Sera,” John said, “your taxi driver is getting annoyed. Come on, let’s go back—”

“Just leave me be, John,” she snapped. There was a ferocity in her gaze now that actually made him feel better after the panic he’d seen there a few minutes ago. Better to see her looking fierce than broken.

He sighed and ran one hand over his head again while resting the other on his hip. He didn’t think Sera should necessarily be alone, but he also didn’t know how much further he wanted to push her right now. Though he knew a version of what had happened to her on Akuze, he'd always suspected that it had been a more traumatic experience for her than she’d ever told him. She was the type to try and handle things on her own as much as she could—they were terribly similar in that regard. If she didn’t want to talk to him about it now, he wasn’t going to try and make her.

"Fine. Okay. But can I at least see you home or something?" he said tentatively.

"I live here," she said, sounding annoyed. "I travel around the Citadel alone just fine when you're not here."

"Right, of course." He sighed. "Well, I guess I'll see you at 1100 for the Council meeting tomorrow?" he asked. Of course she'd be there. He was insulting her by even asking. Shit, he really didn't want to leave things like this. There was so much they really needed to talk about right now. Akuze. Their mother. Alenko. Their Spectre nominations.

"Yeah. 1100. Fine," Sera replied dryly. She turned then and got into the waiting taxi. Just before the door swung down, she glanced back at him.

“‘Night,” he said, giving her a small wave. She turned back to face forward as the door closed, leaving John to stand helplessly and watch as the taxi lifted from the transit station.

John growled in frustration and kicked at an empty disposable coffee cup that had been discarded on the ground. That hadn't gone well at all. But he'd have to patch things up with Sera tomorrow. For now, he needed to get back and try to explain what the hell had just happened to his crew.


	6. Spectres

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end note for an explanation-of-sorts for the long delay between chapters (so sorry!). And this chapter is another ‘you’re welcome’ for fellow Shenko folks and an ‘I’m sorry’ for those who are happier breezing on past those two (it's not the whole chapter, but it's definitely a focus of part of it). [And if you’re not a Shenko fan... I mean... heads up: it’s the one relationship tag I’ve confirmed from the start and it’s going to be sticking around, so sorry!]

_Sera was running, hearing only her pounding heart beating in her ears as she stumbled across the uneven ground. It was dark—so fucking dark—and she could barely see a few meters ahead of her as she forced herself on toward the landing zone._

_But she had to keep moving._

_“Shepard?! Run! You need to—” The voice shouting at her over her comms suddenly cut off with a strangled cry._

_There was no reply when she called back to him._

_Oh gods._

_Just keep moving._

_One moment the corporal was there, running right behind her. But then—just like that—gone._

_The ground beneath her began to rumble._ **_Fuck._**

_Don’t stop._

_Keep moving forward._

_Get to cover before—_

_Suddenly, she was no longer on solid ground. The shifting dirt beneath her feet burst upwards, and Sera felt her body leave the ground, lifted in a massive plume of rock and debris._

_One of the monsters that had been hunting them all down one by one had caught up to her at last._

_Helpless and disoriented, Sera screamed in terror as she flipped haphazardly through the air. Amidst the tumult, she felt something collide violently with her, jolting her head to the side and sending a sudden and wrenching pain through her shoulder._

_After what felt like an eternity of weightlessness, her body slammed painfully into the ground, and she tumbled to a stop. Even amidst the daze, Sera knew she had broken more than one of her bones—at the very least, a few ribs. It hurt like hell to breathe._

_She maintained only a tenuous hold on her consciousness, but she knew she needed to get up._

_She needed to keep moving forward._

_It occurred to her that everything seemed so much louder now than it had been. Whereas before there had only been the sound of her racing heartbeat, now her world was filled with noise: roaring, shrieking, and screaming. Sera reached up with her left hand and found that her helmet had been ripped away._

_She needed to get up._

_She needed to send up an emergency SOS._

_She needed to get to the LZ._

_She needed to—_

_Rolling onto her stomach, Sera gritted her teeth against the pain and pushed herself up onto her knees. The coppery tang of blood filled her mouth, and she coughed and spat onto the ground beneath her. Her armor’s medical interface had begun to flood her system with a potent mix of painkillers and meds that was designed to allow her to ignore her injuries enough to keep herself moving in the field a little while longer. Hopefully long enough for help to arrive._

_Sera could still hear the creature roaring behind her, the ground shaking as it dove back beneath the dirt. She couldn’t stay where she was. Not if she wanted to live._

_Get up._

_Keep moving._

_Press forward._

_Once on her feet, Sera began to limp ahead, instinct driving her towards her destination since she no longer had her helmet’s HUD to guide her. It was still dark. So dark. And loud._

_Sera tried to lift her right arm so she could activate the omni-tool on her left and send up an SOS, but she couldn’t move it. In addition to her arm probably being broken, her armor itself had been damaged. She could feel that her suit’s right shoulder joint had been ripped open, essentially immobilizing the arm._

_Helmet gone._

_Armor breached._

_Body broken._

_Unable to call for help._

_She needed to find cover before—_

_Too late._

_The ground rumbled beneath her again, but this time the monster burst from the earth several meters behind her, sparing her another acrobatic flight. She tried to shield her unprotected head with her good arm as a shower of dirt and debris cascaded down around her. Something large and jagged collided with the back of her skull, and she was thrown unceremoniously forward as she saw an explosion of stars before her eyes._

_After skidding to a halt, Sera tried to get to her feet, but this time she was unable to do more than roll herself onto her left side. Nausea threatened and her head throbbed as if it had been split in two. The stars in her vision began to fade a little, and when she cracked her eyes open amidst the still cascading dirt, she sensed, even in the darkness, the form of a massive creature hovering in the air above her._

_The creature let out an ear-piercing shriek, and instinctively, Sera tried to curl into a ball to shield herself from whatever attack was coming. Moments later, she felt something impact her damaged shoulder, and then a searing pain began to spread across her exposed shoulder and extend to her upper back._

_Gods, it burned._

_Her skin was melting._

_The entirety of her existence had been reduced to blinding pain as Sera writhed in agony. She was going to die. By the time the Alliance arrived, it would be too late, and no one would ever know—_

  
*****

  
Sera’s eyes flew open as she woke up disoriented and thrashing against an unknown enemy. The only sound in her ears was the pounding of her racing heart, and for a moment she didn’t know where she was.

Reality began to reassert itself slowly. Where was she? Not Akuze. She wasn’t on Akuze. She was in her apartment. She was on the Citadel. In her own bed. She wasn’t on Akuze. It had been a dream. _She was okay_.

She then realized that the reason she was struggling to move was that she’d become tangled in her sheets while she slept. Her skin was damp with a cold sweat, and her whole body buzzed, as if a surge of adrenaline had just coursed through her. The searing pain she could have sworn she had felt in her shoulder moments before had completely disappeared, and she could see that her right arm had only been immobilized by the twisted sheets that were pinning it against her body.

After disentangling herself from her blankets, Sera abruptly sat up and leaned forward, burying her face in her hands—not fully coming to tears but feeling them threatening. Gulping down deep breaths of air and rocking back and forth slowly as she tried to calm herself, Sera suddenly felt desperately alone in the quiet solitude of her dark apartment. _Fuck. Fuck._ **_Fuck_** **.**

She’d had this nightmare dozens of times, and it was just as vivid and just as horrible every time. Would she never be free from the specter of Akuze?

Sera pulled her palms away from her face and looked at the clock on her nightstand, which told her that it was 0557. She knew she’d never be able to fall back asleep now, so once she’d calmed herself enough to be sure that her legs would be steady when she climbed out of bed, she got up and padded over to her bathroom.

A quick glance in the mirror reminded her that she wasn’t wearing her pajamas. After she’d gotten home from the Dark Star, she may have indulged in a solo drinking game of her own devising—something to help her forget Joker’s little game at the bar. The end of the night was a bit fuzzy, but she had evidently fallen asleep in her clothes. She hadn’t bothered to shower or even get undressed before collapsing into bed.

Suddenly, and for a reason she couldn't articulate, her clothes felt uncomfortable and restrictive, and Sera found that she desperately wanted out of them. She began tugging at her shirt and jeans, tearing them off as quickly as she could without actually ripping them before slinging them to the floor. Her bra and panties followed, and soon she was standing bare in front of her bathroom mirror.

The woman in the reflection looking back at her was disheveled and slightly wide-eyed, still reeling from the lingering effects of the nightmare. Sera turned her body slightly to the left, angling herself so that she could inspect her right shoulder and upper back more fully in the mirror.

Pulling her hair away from her shoulder, she noted, as she had many times before, that the scarring from the thresher maw’s acid hadn’t faded much over the almost six years since Akuze. Her damaged skin was mottled and had a slightly smooth, almost artificial-feeling texture, covering an area on her right side from the front of her shoulder, up across the top, and partway down her back to her shoulder blade. Even the copious amounts of medigel her physicians had applied hadn’t been enough to fully restore the skin tissue that the maw’s acid had eaten away. At least the injured muscle underneath had been successfully repaired. She retained the full mobility of her arm—something desperately important for an N7 and a sniper.

Sera knew that she had been lucky the acid had only been able to breach the upper right side of her armor where the plating and shoulder joint had already been damaged; she hated to imagine how much worse the injury could have been if it had eaten through more of her armor. When it had happened, the pain had been agony. Over time, though, the pain had faded to a slight tingling, and now she didn’t have much feeling over the damaged area at all. Mostly she could only feel pressure: like when Kaidan had placed his hand on her shoulder yesterday outside of Chora’s Den. He was the only person besides her physicians whom she had ever permitted to touch her shoulder, even if it _had_ only been over her uniform. She was sure he mustn't have been able to see the scarring from all the way across the bar that night at Flux; if he had known what a wreck her skin was beneath the fabric, he probably would have pulled away from her in revulsion yesterday instead of touching her shoulder to help her.

While Sera was examining herself at this angle, she reached up and threaded her fingers through her hair just behind her right ear. If she parted her hair just so, she could make out the several centimeters long, raised scar where something had struck the back of her head and fractured her skull. That was the injury that had ultimately caused her to lose consciousness as she’d crawled towards the landing zone on Akuze. She’d woken up nearly a day later after the doctors on the Alliance cruiser that rescued her had removed bone fragments from her brain and reduced the swelling enough for her to regain consciousness.

She barely remembered anything from those first few weeks now—everything blurred together in her memory. Sera did remember waking up at one point to find her mother sitting by her bedside in the hospital, though she wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting there. It had taken Sera a month or so to heal from the worst of her injuries and then another couple months to work through her physical therapy. The sessions with her Alliance psychiatrist had gone on for longer still and had been even more taxing on her than her physical recovery.

While her mother had been granted leave to be with Sera during the first two months of her recovery, John hadn’t been able to visit her once. She didn’t blame him for it, of course. They had both just graduated from N-School a couple weeks before Akuze—Sera had just had the misfortune to be nearly killed on her first N7 mission. John had to continue serving, with his Torfan mission taking place while she was still in recovery. She’d first seen the reports on the news, and eventually she’d been able to talk to John on a vidcall. By the time she’d gotten her psychiatrist to sign off on putting her back in the field, another month and a half had passed and John had already been promoted by the Alliance and dubbed the Butcher of Torfan by everyone else. It was pretty much from then on that she and John only ever saw each other in person a couple times a year, and that was if they were lucky. They were still close, but not quite as close as they’d been before Torfan and Akuze. Neither of them were quite the same after what they’d been through.

Sera dropped her arm to her side, letting her hair fall back over her shoulder so that it partially covered the scarred tissue. She turned and squared her shoulders, gazing at her reflection in the mirror. She wasn’t really ashamed of her scars, but they were a constant reminder of what she had suffered on Akuze. What she had _survived_ , her psychiatrist would have corrected her. Of course, her psychiatrist had also reminded her many times that her scars weren’t just going to be physical, and she _was_ slightly ashamed of how easily she had let Joker’s little game affect her last night.

She sighed. Maybe John had been right and she did need to talk to someone about Akuze again. _Maybe_.

This morning, Sera decided to take a longer, hotter shower than normal, just standing beneath the spray for several long minutes and letting the water cascade down her skin, rinsing away the soap suds alongside the lingering memories of her nightmare. After stepping out of the shower and toweling off, Sera pulled on a pair of shorts and a favorite tank top. Her hair was still damp, so she ran a comb through it a few times before leaving it down to finish drying. She wasn’t meant to meet up with her brother and Anderson to see the Council until just before 1100, so she still had most of the morning to mope around her apartment and try to figure out how she was going to face everyone in a few hours.

Sera was tidying up her bathroom a short while later when she heard someone knocking on her front door. She glanced at the time and wondered who could possibly be visiting her at such an early hour. Surely only John. And she wasn’t sure she was quite ready to talk to him yet.

She ignored the knocking for another minute until she heard a buzzing from the direction of her bedroom. Now he was calling her omni-tool, which she had left lying on her nightstand. Gods, he wasn’t going to leave until she talked to him, was he?

Mumbling a string of curses under her breath, Sera stormed to her front door and yanked it open. “I told you to leave me—oh!” she exclaimed, catching herself when she realized that the man standing on her doorstep wasn’t, in fact, her brother.

It was Kaidan Alenko standing at her door, looking slightly taken aback while holding a carrier with what appeared to be two cups of coffee and a small white paper bag in front of him like a shield.

“I’m so sorry!” she said, rushing to apologize. “I thought you were someone else.” Good one, Sera, she thought. Way to yell at the nice, attractive man who is at your apartment for some reason and... apparently bringing you breakfast?

“I figured,” he replied with a half-grin. As he hovered in the doorway, his eyes seemed to sweep over her, surveying her. She suddenly felt underdressed, though she wasn’t wearing anything less than what she might wear to work out at the gym. When his gaze lingered on her bare shoulder, she felt herself flush. Well, there’d definitely be no more pretending he hadn’t seen that. He didn’t mention it, thankfully. “Can I, um, come in?” he asked instead, holding up the paper bag. “I come bearing gifts.”

“Did my brother send you? He’s not loitering out there in the hallway, is he?” she asked only half-jokingly, knowing he'd probably think she was being paranoid. She made a show of moving aside and standing on her tiptoes, pretending to try and get a look around Kaidan and out into the hall as he passed by her on his way into her apartment. When he was fully inside, she carefully closed the door and then turned so that her back was to it. She waited, back pressed against the door, and watched him as he walked towards her living room.

“Ha, no. I’m here of my own accord. Actually… the commander wasn’t sure it was a good idea for me to come, but when I insisted, he gave me your address and then advised me to at least show up with caffeine.” Kaidan whirled around, a mortified expression dawning on his face. “Oh God, I hope that was alright! Asking your brother instead of you for your address, I mean. It seems a bit forward now that I’m actually here. And I know it’s early, but I figured that you’re military, so...” He trailed off and looked at her sheepishly, apparently realizing he was rambling.

Sera smiled. It didn’t bother her at all that he was here, but it was refreshing that he was so concerned about how she was going to react. “Yeah, it’s all fine,” she said, waving off his concerns and countering with an apology of her own. “Sorry again that I yelled at you.” She unconsciously tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear in an uncharacteristically shy gesture. Keep it together, Sera, she thought, doing everything she could not to openly roll her eyes at her own silliness.

“Don’t worry about it,” he replied easily. He looked around her apartment with curiosity, then turned back to her. “So this is the Hero of Elysium’s apartment, huh?”

She raised an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms. “What’s wrong with it?” she asked, feigning offense.

“I just thought it would be bigger,” he commented, lips quirking up at the corners as he spoke.

She shrugged and resisted her sudden immature urge to make a _that’s what she said_ joke. Instead, she said, “Yeah, well, I’m living on an Alliance salary. Same as you.”

“Well, not _exactly_ the same as me,” he said, giving her a knowing look.

Sera laughed. She _was_ a higher rank than him and had earned her N7 designation, so of course they wouldn’t earn the same pay. “Fair enough. Do you want to sit down?” She gestured to her couch, and Kaidan sat down on the right side, setting the drink carrier and paper bag down on the coffee table in front of them. Sera perched herself on the left cushion, curling one leg underneath herself as she sat and angling her body towards him so they could talk more comfortably.

Kaidan lifted the two cups out of the carrier and set them down before looking expectantly up at her. “Coffee or tea? I wasn't sure what you’d like.”

“Ooh, tea. Please,” she said eagerly, reaching out her hand. He laughed, then passed her a cup marked ‘чай’ on the lid. “What does that say?” Sera asked, pointing at the writing.

“What?” He glanced at where she was pointing and replied, “Oh, that. It says ‘tea’ in Ukranian.”

“Are you Ukrainian? You don’t sound Ukrainian,” she asked with genuine interest. Sera didn’t think she’d ever met anyone from Ukraine, but Kaidan didn’t have an Eastern European Union accent and he spoke English flawlessly.

“No, I’m Canadian. But Dad’s family came from Ukraine,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t really speak it or anything, but I picked up a few words here and there from my grandparents. The little bakery I stopped at is owned by a Ukrainian couple. My dad is the one who told me about the place—he passed through the Citadel many times while he was serving in the Alliance—but this is the first chance I’ve had to visit it myself. The owners were super nice. I explained where I was headed and they insisted on giving me free pampushki.”

“Pam—what?” Sera said, laughing at the unfamiliar word.

“Pampushki. These are a sweet variety—kind of like a fruit-filled donut. I don't know what kind of fruit is in them though, sorry. You'll just have to try one to find out.”

“What did you tell them?” Sera asked as he pulled open the top of the bag and held it out to her.

He gave her a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

She reached in and pulled out what looked like a fluffy bread roll with powdered sugar sprinkled on top. “You said that you explained where you were going and then they gave you these free—whatever these are called. Where did you tell them you were going?”

“Oh. I, uh,” his cheeks tinged slightly pink as he fumbled for words, “I told them I was visiting a... friend who might need some cheering up.” He hesitated ever so slightly on the word ‘friend,’ as if that hadn’t been the word he’d told them at all.

“So we’re friends now?” Sera teased. Admittedly, she’d only met Kaidan a day ago, but she felt like they might be friends. Or something more than friends. Maybe. Someday. Before he could reply, she carefully took a bite of the pastry, trying not to make a mess of the powdered sugar. “Mmm! This is delicious!”

“I knew they’d be a hit,” he said, pulling out one of the pampushki for himself.

For a minute, they sat together in contented silence, eating their breakfast and sipping their tea and coffee. Sera was surprised by how quickly and easily the lingering stress of her morning had faded away once Kaidan had arrived. Of course, she could guess why he had come over this morning, and her suspicions were confirmed when he next spoke.

“So about last night…” Kaidan ventured.

Sera stilled, chewing the last bite of her pastry. She remained quiet as she gently brushed her hands together to dust off the powdered sugar.

“After you left, the commander explained what happened. He told us about Akuze.” Sera sighed then looked down at her hands, which she was now cradling in her lap. She knew her brother would have to justify her sudden disappearance to his crew, but she hadn’t really had time yet to think about what she might say the next time she saw any of them when they inevitably brought it up—as Kaidan just had.

When Sera looked over at him again, he was giving her a sympathetic look, and it made Sera want to cringe. She hated when people looked at her like that after hearing about Akuze.

“If you came here because you felt sorry for me—” she began, but she cut herself off. Her words had come out more rudely than she intended, so she was careful to speak her next ones more gently. “It was a while ago now. I’m fine.”

Kaidan said nothing for a long moment, then reached for the paper bag and took out a second pastry. Before he took a bite he said, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Sera looked down at her hands again. “Not really.” That was partially a lie, of course. Just a little bit ago she had been thinking that perhaps she needed to talk to someone again about Akuze. But Kaidan? Even though he was easy to talk to, she’d only just met him. What would he think of her still having nightmares over something that had happened almost six years ago? He didn’t run at the sight of her scarred shoulder, but he didn’t yet know how deep her scars ran.

A tense silence settled for another minute, and when she glanced back up at him, he was already finishing the last bite of his pastry. She raised an eyebrow at him curiously.

“I eat fast. Biotics need a lot of calories,” he replied to her silent question. He grinned and began to lick powdered sugar from his fingers, causing Sera to recoil in mock disgust.

“Hey, I have napkins, you know,” she scolded, laughing, the tension from a moment ago now broken. He shrugged, but Sera could see that he was amused. He finished by wiping his hands on his pants, and Sera rolled her eyes. “Ugh, you’re a monster.” His face fell at her words, and she suddenly wished she could take her teasing comment back.

Sera settled back onto the couch, pulling up her knee and clasping her arms around her shin. It was a protective pose she instinctively adopted when she was feeling vulnerable. Or so her psychiatrist had told her, anyway.

“Well, if you’d prefer,” Kaidan said finally, “I could talk instead.”

“Yeah?” Sera said.

“Yeah.” He leaned back into the couch and stretched out his left arm along the back of the sofa, his right resting on the armrest. His left hand was almost close enough to be touching her scarred shoulder. She suddenly felt a fluttering in her stomach as she realized he wasn't afraid to get close to her. As his arms flexed and moved, she couldn’t help but watch the corded muscle shifting beneath his skin. After a moment, he finally spoke again. “I get headaches—migraines, actually."

Sera pulled her attention away from his outstretched arm, and when she met his gaze she saw both pain and acceptance in his expression. She thought for a moment, then asked, “How bad?”

He scoffed. “Bad. Like knock me on my ass for a day or two sometimes bad.”

“And the Alliance doesn’t give you trouble over them?” she pressed, hoping she wasn't pushing too far on a sore subject.

He shook his head. “Not really. They put up with them because I’m useful to them in the field.” He paused, then shifted uncomfortably. “Do you know much about biotics?” She noticed that he lifted a hand and rubbed it on the back of his head, almost like a subconscious nervous habit.

“I mean, just what I learned at Academy,” she admitted, “but that’s it. I’ve only served with a few biotics here and there over the years and typically only for a single mission at a time.”

Kaidan nodded. He brought his hand down to the arm of the sofa again and began to pick at a piece of invisible lint. Then he looked at her for a moment, studying her. “So if I told you I’m an L2, would you know what that means?”

Sera sucked in a breath. So she had been right about him possibly being an L2. If Kaidan had an L2 implant, he was ultimately one of the lucky ones to be as healthy and productive as he was. She knew that many L2s had complications like mental disabilities, insanity, and crippling physical pain—there was truly a long list of horrific side effects. Severe migraines weren’t ideal, obviously, but she knew it could be much, much worse.

“Yeah, I would know what that means. I can guess how hard things must have been for you, growing up especially. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

He tensed and turned his head away from her, so she couldn’t read his face, but he nodded again in a silent expression of gratitude.

“Ah, so, tell me,” Sera began, deciding to change topics a bit. “How’d you end up in the Alliance and on the Normandy having to put up with my brother?”

Kaidan appeared to relax just a little. “Well, a lot of biotics end up in the Alliance. We’re not restricted, but we sure don’t go undocumented—may as well get a paycheck for it.” He let out a chuckle and Sera laughed with him, though she found it a bit sad that he might have felt like he didn’t have a lot of choice about joining. Truthfully, she wasn’t sure how much choice she’d had, either, though she was happy with where she’d ended up. Both of her parents had joined the Alliance and she’d just always known she’d follow in their footsteps—John was the one who’d ended up having second thoughts about enlisting. “And anyway, my father served, and it made him proud when I enlisted. Eventually,” he added before pausing. She wanted to ask more about _that_ , but left the potentially thorny subject alone.

He continued, “So I joined up when I was 22. I trained at the Tech Academy—which you already know, I guess. After I earned my sentinel classification and completed medic training, I served here and there on different ships, earning a few commendations along the way. I must have caught the right person’s eye, though, because someone put my dossier on Anderson’s desk when he was putting together his new crew. He selected me for the Normandy himself.” She could sense that he was proud of that fact—as he should be.

“And now my brother’s lucky to have you on his team,” Sera said sincerely. “I’m glad you’re going to be there watching his six.”

“Honestly it’s me who’s lucky. After we lost Jenkins and then the commander was injured saving me from the Prothean beacon, I was worried I might get thrown off the ship.”

“Jenkins… he was the marine killed on the ground?” Sera asked. Admiral Kahoku had mentioned to her that one of the Normandy’s crew hadn’t made it. She hadn’t even gotten to talk to John about the man he lost. They hadn’t talked about Nihlus either. Or what was going on with their Spectre candidacies. Did John even know he was a candidate? She hadn’t been told until after Nihlus had finished her observation, but if Nihlus was killed in the middle of John's, maybe John had no idea. Gods, there was so much that had gone unsaid between them and she had practically fled from him last night.

Kaidan lowered his gaze to the floor, clearly having a hard time with Jenkins’ death. Sera tentatively reached out and placed a hand comfortingly on his arm that was still resting on the back of the couch. She knew what it was like to lose a man on your team—hell, she’d been the only one out of fifty marines to make it off of Akuze. And now the last team she’d worked with was missing. Oh, she _knew_.

He looked back up at her, his eyes flicking to where her hand rested on his forearm before finding her eyes again. Kaidan nodded. “He was a good kid. A bit naive, maybe, but good. You know—you met him, actually.”

Sera couldn't keep the look of surprise from her face. She thought for a moment, then the memory came back to her. Jenkins must have been the young man who had approached her in the bar. She remembered hearing his name as he’d returned to the Kaidan and the others at the bar. 

“Right—he was the one who came over and talked to me in Flux?” she asked, giving Kaidan a wry look. “The night that you—”

“Yeah, that was him,” Kaidan cut in quickly, blushing slightly. “Joker put him up to that, as I’m sure you can imagine.” He ran his hand nervously through his hair. It was cute how flustered he had gotten all of a sudden.

Suddenly, they were interrupted by the sound of Kaidan’s omni-tool pinging a priority alert. Sera jumped at the unexpected sound, removing her hand suddenly from Kaidan’s arm. He let out a breath, then lifted the arm she’d been touching, holding it in front of him so he could open up his omni-tool. He swiped at the display and was quiet for a minute while he skimmed through a message.

“Everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” Kaidan replied. “It’s an all-call from the commander for the Normandy’s ground crew. He and Anderson want to meet us back on the ship for a quick briefing before the Council meeting.”

“Ah,” Sera said. She supposed their lovely morning couldn’t last forever. Duty called.

His omni-tool pinged again, and Kaidan’s eyebrows flicked up in surprise as he scanned a second message. Whatever this one contained made the lieutenant’s cheeks flush red.

“Okay, now what’s _that_ message about?” Sera asked, curious at what could cause that sort of reaction in the lieutenant.

Refusing to meet her gaze, he said quickly, “It’s also from the commander. He, uh, just wanted me to remind you to wear your armor today.”

Sera chuckled. “Uh huh. What did he _really_ say?”

Kaidan spluttered in dismay. “W-What do you mean?”

She crossed her arms and smirked. “I know my brother. And you’re blushing like a schoolboy. What does his message say?”

He cleared his throat before responding. “I guess he tried to reach you a little while ago but couldn’t, so he wanted to know if I was still with you or, um, if you’d thrown me out of your apartment yet. And then he said if you hadn’t, he wanted me to, and... I swear I’m quoting him here, ‘tell my sister to wear her fucking armor today.’”

“That sounds more like it.” Sera laughed and stood up from the couch, stretching as she got to her feet. She thought she could sense his eyes on her as she did so.

Kaidan joined her, and when she turned towards him, he was giving her a curious look. “You know, I’ve never worked under anyone quite like you two before.”

She resisted the urge to make yet another immature joke about the lieutenant’s choice of words. “Of course not. There isn’t anyone else quite like us, Lieutenant.” She winked at him when she finished speaking. Oh hell, why did she just wink at him? Was that too much?

“I suppose not,” he replied, giving her a genuine smile. Okay, the wink hadn’t been too much, she thought with relief.

They stood there, staring at each other for a long moment, before Kaidan cleared his throat.

“So, uh, I can wait for you while you…” He trailed off, gesturing at her vaguely.

Sera frowned slightly. What was he talking about? “While I… what?”

Kaidan laughed, quirking his eyebrows in amusement. “Surely you want to change before the briefing? Not that you don’t look… Because you look… I just mean… It’s work.” He almost blurted out the last sentence as if it had saved him from saying something embarrassing.

Sera crossed her arms and smiled at the lieutenant. “I’m not invited to the briefing, Kaidan.” Now it was his turn to frown at her. Sera uncrossed her arms and shrugged, explaining, “The call was for the Normandy’s ground crew. …I’m not part of the Normandy’s crew, remember? My brother didn’t send _me_ the all-call.”

He opened his mouth to reply, then closed it after a moment, nodding. “I guess… I guess I forgot.” He looked at her sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. “It’s just been nice getting to team up with you, you know?”

“Yeah. I know,” Sera replied a little sadly, following him as he moved towards her front door. “Well, you definitely don’t want to be late. My brother would never let either of us live it down. I’ll see you at the Council meeting though?”

“Of course. I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah.”

There was an awkward moment at the door, neither of them quite sure what the protocol was for this situation. Should they shake hands? Or maybe she could give him a peck on the cheek? That was innocent enough but would also convey her interest. For his part, Kaidan seemed like he was going to move in to give her a hug, but then he seemed to think better of it and instead rubbed shyly at the back of his neck and gave her another sheepish smile.

“Well, uh, goodbye, Sera,” he said in that husky voice of his. Sera almost swooned. It was nice hearing someone use her name once in a while.

“Bye, Kaidan. Thanks for breakfast.”

Then he was giving her a brief wave and turning to walk away down the hall.

Sera couldn’t help rolling her eyes at herself as she closed the door behind him. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against the cool metal of the door. Her last words to him were _Thanks for breakfast_. Gods, she had been a soldier her entire adult life and she had spent plenty of time in the company of physically attractive male marines. But just a short while with Kaidan outside of a work setting and she was reduced to her nervous and awkward teenage self.

She took in a couple of deep breaths, grounding herself. Her whole body felt slightly tingly, abuzz with energy and her racing thoughts. She let out a long exhale and pushed herself away from her door. The moment she did, a loud knock sounded on the door and she nearly jumped out of her skin.

A second later, she was opening the door and then frowning in confusion. “Kaidan? What is it? What’s wrong?”

The lieutenant was standing in her doorway again, one hand on the frame as he leaned against it. His expression was distraught, seemingly caught halfway between worry and indecision.

“Nothing’s wrong, exactly, I just—” He paused and pulled his hand away from the frame to run his fingers through his hair, and for the first time, Sera saw the gesture leave his hair disheveled—just slightly, though. It made him look even sexier than he already was. And now she was just staring at him. And he was just staring back after trailing off mid-sentence?

“...Just what?” she prompted finally, raising an eyebrow at him questioningly.

He smiled and nervous laughter burst from him. “I just wanted to ask you something, and I was too afraid to do it before. But as I was walking away, I realized I didn’t know when I’d get another chance.”

Something fluttered pleasantly in Sera’s stomach. The list of things he could ask her that would make him this nervous was quite short. “Okay…” she said cautiously, trying to temper her optimism.

He took in a breath. “Can I—can I see you again?” he asked tentatively.

Sera couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of her. “What? I thought I was going to see you at the Council meeting.”

“Not that. I mean later,” he said, sounding more confident now than he had a moment before. “I know you’re based on the Citadel and I’m on the Normandy, but I think with this Saren thing and business with the Council we may be visiting the Citadel pretty often, and I was just wondering,” he paused long enough to take another deep breath before finishing, “if I could take you out the next time we’re here.”

Sera beamed. But before she could answer, he kept speaking.

“If it’s too weird because I’m a little older or because I’m a biotic or because I’m on your brother’s ship or whatever, I totally understand—”

“Kaidan, stop,” she said, reaching out and placing her hand on his arm to get his attention. He stopped his rambling and looked down at her. “Yeah, you can take me out. I’d love that,” she told him.

He blinked at her. “Really?”

“Really. It's a date,” she replied, grinning. “I’m looking forward to it already. And maybe you could call me in the meantime, too.”

“Okay, that’s… I will. Thank you,” he stammered, looking a bit dazed that she’d accepted so easily. Gods, he was adorable when he was nervous.

“Uh, you’re welcome,” she replied pleasantly. “Now get out of here before you’re late, Lieutenant.” She winked at him and this time didn’t immediately regret doing it.

He straightened and gave her a charming smile and a playful salute. “Yes, ma’am.” After lingering to look her in the eye one long moment, he turned and hurried off down the hall.

This time Sera couldn’t keep the grin off her face as she closed her door. As she did, she heard her omni-tool chirp a notification from the other room, reminding her that she had a message from John she should probably read. Plus she had a meeting to start getting ready for.

She walked into her bedroom and snatched up her omni-tool. She quickly attached it to her arm before pulling up the display and reading the message her brother had sent her.

 **  
From: Lt. Cmdr. John Shepard <jonathan.shepard@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **To: Lt. Cmdr. Sera Shepard <serafina.shepard@sysalliance.nav.mil>  
** **Sent: 25 JUL 2183 at 0652:13  
** **Subject: Heads Up**

_  
Sera—_

_Hope I’m not too late but I figured I should give you a heads up that Alenko asked me if he could stop by your apartment this morning. I told him he should at least bring you breakfast if he was going to come by your place before 0700. I wouldn’t want you to think I’m trying to interfere in your love life or anything, but for fuck’s sake I hope you let the poor man in. I haven’t known him long, but I think he’s a good guy._

  
Sera groaned at that—of course her brother had noticed the interest flickering between them. She supposed neither of them had exactly been subtle. Her cheeks burned a little as she recalled using Kaidan’s first name and even touching his arm in front of the others. It had felt good fighting by his side yesterday, though. They had only just met, and yet, working with him had been so effortless. She thought back to how she’d felt when he had protected her with his own biotic barrier; she’d never experienced anything like it before. She had felt so alive, her skin sparking with energy that felt so distinctly... his. She blushed furiously as she recalled the sensation, then forced herself to brush the memory aside so she could finish reading John’s message.

_  
Anyway, Anderson wanted me to ask you to meet us outside the Council Chambers a little before 1100 and WEAR YOUR FUCKING ARMOR (that last part is from me not Anderson). And maybe bring a gun this time so you don’t have to borrow one from Vakarian (yeah, I noticed). I expect the Council won’t be able to deny our evidence today and they’ll revoke Saren’s Spectre status, but until then (and probably even after), we’ve all got to watch our backs. You included._

_But after the Council meeting… we should probably talk. See you soon._

_—John_

  
*****

  
Fully outfitted in her armor per John’s request, Sera strode confidently through the Citadel Tower, past the deceptively calming water features and charming flowering trees that reminded her of cherry blossoms. She ignored the curious looks and stares she caught from some of the people loitering around the lobby, moving quickly past them until she came to the imposing final set of stairs that led up to the Council Chamber.

On the landing ahead of her, she could see John standing alongside Captain Anderson and Ambassador Udina. A few of the Normandy ground team were also standing nearby, specifically Kaidan, Williams, and Wrex. She pointedly avoided looking in their direction for now—this was not the time for distractions—instead focused on heading straight for the group that was waiting for her. Anderson gave Sera a welcoming smile, and she nodded back when he gave her a quick gesture to come up and join them. Udina noticed the captain’s movement, and when he turned to see who Anderson was greeting, he frowned as she approached.

“Captain Anderson.” Sera stepped into the empty space next to John and gave Anderson a formal salute, which he returned. She dropped her arm, shifting to stand in parade rest, and nodded at Udina and her brother, greeting them as well. “Good morning, Ambassador. John.” John looked at her a bit warily but at least gave her a nod in return. Udina only seemed to scowl.

“Well, Commanders. Don’t you two make a fine sight? Humanity’s best and brightest—no doubt about it,” Anderson said, positively beaming as he looked over her and John.

She glanced at John, who was wearing his own suit of N7 armor. Their sets were similar, though with some clear distinctions given their different classifications. John’s was a bit more standard-issue for an N7 soldier, a standard metallic gray and adorned with the traditional red and white stripes down his right arm. John’s work as a commander required that he be immediately recognizable by both friend and foe alike. He needed his crew to be able to identify him quickly and easily on a hectic battlefield, and the familiar N7 stripes might inspire fear or at least hesitation in his enemies.

Sera’s armor, however, was designed for infiltration. While it still bore the standard N7 insignia above her right breast, a logo she sometimes covered with a black patch on certain missions, most of her armor was painted matte black, with some of the accenting pieces painted with patches of deep gray to subtly break up her silhouette. The whole thing was designed not to shine or glint in the dark because though she had other camouflaging tools at her disposal as an infiltrator, it wasn’t practical or even really possible to run an entire mission in her tactical cloak. She had also customized her suit a bit more than John had, using some of her Citadel connections to get ahold of some prototype targeting and ammo capacity upgrades offered exclusively by Armax Arsenal, a turian company which was fairly new to supplying humans with armor. She was quite proud of the quality and customized loadout of her gear, actually; it had served her well and saved her life on more than one occasion.

It wasn’t often that she and John were together and fully outfitted in their armor and weaponry, but standing side by side as they were now, she agreed with Anderson that they really did make quite a pair. They had the same cornflower blue eyes and chestnut brown hair, though John’s hair was buzzed so short you could hardly determine the color and Sera tended to keep hers twisted up in a bun, even if it was nearly long enough to cover the scarring on her shoulder. There was certainly a familial look in their features—Sera’s were more delicate than her brother’s, but there was a similar shape to their nose and eyes. Truthfully the biggest difference between them was their size: John was tall and muscular, while Sera was on the shorter side and of a lean, athletic build. But those physical differences aside, they did look to be the Heroes of Elysium they’d been depicted as on Alliance recruitment posters over the past seven years.

“Everyone ready?” Anderson asked, addressing the group. “The ambassador will present our case before the Council. Commander,” he continued, nodding at John, “you and I will answer any further questions the councilors may have about Saren and the Eden Prime mission. Let’s go.”

Sera tried not to frown as she wondered what her role was meant to be in all of this; Anderson had deliberately not mentioned her. It’s not that she minded exactly—she understood that this was essentially a mission and everyone had to play whatever role was needed for the mission to succeed. She just wasn’t sure why she was here if not to help make their case. It disappointed her a little to think that perhaps Anderson only wanted her here as an Alliance showpiece to stand behind her brother and complete the Shepard matched set.

She patiently waited for the three men to move ahead of her and fell into place behind them as they climbed the last set of steps and approached the Council platform. They paused at the end of the platform and waited for the councilors to arrive: Udina and Anderson stood in front with John and Sera waiting just behind them, both assuming parade rest. The rest of the Normandy crew present waited back away from the platform.

While they waited, Sera thought about John’s solid presence beside her. She desperately wished she’d had a chance to speak with John privately before this meeting. It was her own fault, really, walking away from him as she had last night and then not reaching out to him this morning. She hadn’t responded to his message, though he’d know she’d gotten it since she showed up in her full gear. He had greeted her as she’d arrived, and he’d essentially sent Kaidan to her apartment this morning, so must not be too upset with her—he didn’t sound upset in his email, anyway. But he could have filled her in on their plan for the Council or they might have talked about their Spectre nominations. Sera hated feeling underprepared for missions, and though this wasn’t an official mission per se, she still felt woefully underprepared for it.

A hush suddenly fell over the chamber—there were spectators in the upper balconies, she had noticed when they’d entered—signaling that the councilors were making their way into the Council Chamber. Sera directed her attention towards the pedestals, where she saw Councilors Sparatus, Tevos, and Valern take their respective positions. She had been in the Council Chamber before, but only as a spectator—she’d never addressed the councilors or been addressed by them. It was a bit intimidating to be facing three of the most influential individuals in the whole galaxy.

“We understand you have obtained some new evidence for us, Ambassador,” the asari councilor began without preamble.

“Yes, Councilors...”

Sera listened to Udina lay out their evidence for the Council. He was a politician, not a lawyer, and that was painfully clear from his contemptuous, less than persuasive tone. She carefully studied the councilors' reactions as Udina played the recording of Saren that Tali had provided, and it was clear from the twitch in Councilor Sparatus’ mandibles and the quick glance in his direction from Councilor Tevos that they found their evidence both surprising and credible.

“This evidence is irrefutable, Ambassador,” Sparatus said, immediately confirming her suppositions. “Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status and all efforts will be made to bring him in to answer for his crimes.”

Well, that was easy, Sera thought. She could guess that given the meritocratic nature of turian society, Sparatus keenly felt Saren’s betrayal. The judgment of the Council against Saren was swift and harsh.

The asari councilor identified the second voice from the recording as an apparently well-known asari, Matriarch Benezia, and Sera listened again as the councilors questioned Captain Anderson and John further about the geth, the Conduit, and the Reapers. All three of the councilors were skeptical of the existence of the Reapers, that much was evident.

“Listen to what you’re saying! Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Impossible. It has to be,” said Sparatus incredulously. “Where did the Reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we’ve found no trace of their existence? If they were real, we’d have found something!”

John had remained cool and collected so far, but now he grew slightly angry. “I tried to warn you about Saren, and you refused to face the truth. Don’t make the same mistake again,” he argued.

“This is different,” Tevos countered calmly. “You proved Saren betrayed the Council. We all agree he’s using the geth to search for the Conduit, but we don’t really know why.”

“The Reapers are obviously just a myth, Commander. A convenient lie to cover Saren’s true purpose. A legend he is using to bend the geth and others to his will,” Valern added.

Sera sucked in a breath. The salarian councilor had all but implied that John was being manipulated by Saren. Turning her head the slightest fraction of a centimeter to the side, she could see that John was not taking the slight well.

“I’ve told you what I saw in the vision from the beacon,” he said angrily. 

What now? John was having visions of the Reapers? Yet _another_ thing they hadn’t talked about, Sera realized. The list of things they hadn’t talked about but needed to had grown upsettingly long.

“I’ve seen them! Fifty thousand years ago, the Reapers wiped out all galactic civilization. If Saren finds the Conduit, it will happen again!” John was nearly shouting. Sera resisted the urge to reach out a hand and calm her brother.

Sparatus scoffed. “Saren is a rogue agent on the run for his life. He no longer has the rights or resources of a Spectre. The Council has stripped him of his position.”

“That is not good enough!” Udina barked angrily. “You know he’s hiding somewhere in the Traverse. Send your fleet in!”

“A fleet cannot track down one man,” the salarian councilor said flatly.

Udina argued with the councilors over their disinterest in using their fleet to protect human colonies in the Attican Traverse; it seemed like this must be familiar territory for the human ambassador and the Council, an argument they’d had before. And from Udina’s tone, Sera judged that things hadn’t gone in humanity’s favor any of the previous times either.

John cut in, interrupting what had nearly devolved into petty bickering between politicians. “So you’ll do nothing? Every time humanity asks for help you ignore us.” The councilors fell silent, apparently considering John’s words.

Udina seized on the moment of silence and growled, “Shepard’s right. I’m sick of this Council and its anti-human bull—”

“Ambassador!” Tevos addressed Udina, cutting him off before he could say something he might regret in front of the Council. “There is another solution. A way to stop Saren that does not require fleets or armies,” she said cryptically.

“No! It’s too soon,” Sparatus said sharply, turning towards Tevos and clearly understanding her implication. “Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres.”

Sera perked up at that, the conversation having turned now towards the issue of their Spectre candidacies. This explained why she was here at least; Anderson must have guessed it would come up today. It was a topic that concerned her just as much as it did John.

“I’m ready,” John asserted confidently, straightening and squaring his shoulders. “I faced Saren on Eden Prime and exposed him for a traitor. I’ve proven myself.” Sera was surprised by how forward John was being with the Council regarding his candidacy, but perhaps it had come up yesterday when they had convened? She found herself unconsciously straightening her posture to match her brother’s. So was this it? Was the Council about to make a decision about whether humanity was finally going to get a Spectre—and whether that Spectre would be her or John?

Councilor Tevos glanced at the salarian councilor, then turned her head to look at Sparatus. A silent conversation seemed to pass between the three of them, before Tevos turned back towards their group.

“Spectres are an ideal, a symbol,” she began. “The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will.”

Councilor Sparatus took over. “Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold.”

“Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle, those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file,” Councilor Valern concluded.

There was a pause as the three councilors fell silent. The silence extended even into the gallery above, as if the spectators were holding their collective breaths, waiting for the Council to decide the fates of the human candidates below. Her and John’s fates.

“Commander Jonathan Shepard—step forward,” said Councilor Sparatus. John spared Sera a brief glance, his expression unreadable, then took several steps forward until he was standing in front of Udina and Anderson. Sera felt simultaneous sensations of elation and pride for John and bitter disappointment for herself.

The Alliance wouldn’t care which Shepard became a Spectre today—just that one of them did.

But Sera had cared, more than she had perhaps given herself leave to consider. She took in several steadying breaths and schooled her features so as to not broadcast her roiling emotions. Sera was a commander in the Alliance Navy. A stoic, decorated N7 soldier. She wouldn’t do anything except support John in this moment. She could feel her own disappointment in private later.

Then Councilor Tevos was speaking. “Commander Serafina Shepard—please step forward,” Tevos said, startling Sera slightly. She froze, caught off guard at being suddenly addressed by the Council. Wait, what? No, it was John who had been called forward to be recognized. Surely they didn’t mean to have her stand meekly beside her brother while they bestowed upon him the honor of becoming humanity’s first Spectre. It seemed unnecessarily cruel.

She must have hesitated slightly longer than was appropriate because she heard Captain Anderson clear his throat from where he was standing in front of her.

Sera took several steps forward and assumed a place next to John at the front of the platform. She was dying to turn her head and look at him, but she resisted the urge, instead staring straight ahead at Councilor Tevos who had been the one to call her forward.

Tevos’s next words took on the air of a proclamation, spoken loud and clear to all those present in the Chamber. “It is the decision of the Council that Commander Jonathan Shepard and Commander Serafina Shepard, representatives of humanity’s Systems Alliance Navy, be granted all the privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel,” she declared.

Sera’s heart was pounding in her chest. Holy shit. They were both being made Spectres? She wondered if John had any inkling of this, or if he was just as surprised by the revelation as she was. She was still dying to look at him but remained staring stoically forward.

“You are the first human Spectres, Commanders. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species,” added Valern.

“Thank you, Councilors,” Sera and John said simultaneously. Sera didn’t know quite else what to say. She barely even knew what was happening.

“What’s my first mission?” John asked. Now Sera did shoot him a sharp glance. Barely a Spectre for two seconds and he was already asking about a mission. Well, he _had_ always been the bolder of the two of them.

Sparatus eyed John for a moment before replying. “You will continue your pursuit of Saren into the Traverse. He’s a fugitive from justice, so you are authorized to use any means necessary to apprehend or eliminate him,” he explained. Sera surmised from the councilor's tone that he rather hoped it would end up being the latter.

Valern looked directly at Sera. “Commander, you have your own mission to pursue. I believe your admiral wishes to speak to you about it.” Sera raised her eyebrows in mild surprise. Was he referring to the missing marine team in Artemis Tau? Admiral Kahoku had mentioned that he’d been getting stonewalled and had been planning on talking with the Council about it—apparently he had succeeded. Sera nodded her head in understanding, and the salarian councilor blinked back at her expressionlessly.

“Good. Then this meeting of the Council is adjourned,” Tevos declared abruptly. The three councilors turned and walked back out of the Council Chambers from the same direction they had entered. A buzz of excited chatter filled the room as the spectators in the upper balconies began to talk and mingle again.

Barely able to contain herself one moment longer, Sera finally turned to face her brother. There was a long pause where the two of them just looked at each other, similar grins adorning their faces, then they moved towards each other at the same time and crashed together in a crushing hug—a hug that was admittedly a bit awkward given that they were both in full armor.

“We did it, Sera,” John said, his voice low but serious in her ear. “I knew we’d both make it.” Apparently John had known all along that both of them were in the running to become Spectres and not necessarily one at the expense of the other.

“Of course we did,” was all she replied, giving him an extra tight squeeze. “We’re Shepards. Nothing can stand in our way. It's us against the galaxy, right?” She figured there was no point now in revealing to him that she hadn’t known they could _both_ be selected.

“Congratulations, Commanders— _Spectres_ ,” Anderson said, reaching out to shake John’s hand and then hers after they had broken apart. The captain smiled at her conspiratorially in a way that suggested he suspected or even knew this was going to be the outcome all along. Did everyone but her know that both of them had the chance to become Spectres? Sera wished that someone might have let her in on that little piece of information; she might not have fretted over it so much.

Sera and John turned towards the ambassador at the same time, expecting him to follow with at least perfunctory if not genuine congratulations of his own. “Yes, yes,” Udina said in a rush, waving a hand dismissively. “You’re a boon to humanity and all that. We’ve got a lot of work to do, Anderson, if we’re going to get Commander Shepard set up and on his way. He’s going to need a ship, a crew, supplies…” he trailed off as if committing the list to memory as he ticked through each item. “Let’s head to my offices in the Embassy. I’ll need your help to set all of this up.” Udina hurried off without sparing her or John another glance.

“That guy’s kind of a dick,” she muttered, just loud enough that only John and possibly Anderson could hear her. John snorted, trying to cover a laugh, but Anderson chose not to comment if he had even overheard.

Anderson gave them a resigned look. “I should probably make sure he doesn’t get carried away. Udina wasn’t the one made a Council Spectre today, but I have no doubt he’s going to spin this as a political victory for himself,” Anderson said warily, glancing after Udina. “John, I’ll meet you and the rest of the crew at the Normandy’s dock in a couple hours. I’ll contact you when Udina and I have sorted everything out. Sera, I believe you will be given your own set of orders shortly.” He gestured at something or someone behind her, and Sera turned her head to find Admiral Kahoku standing alone by the stairs leading out of the Council Chamber.

“Of course, sir,” she replied, giving Anderson a curt salute.

“Commanders,” Anderson said, saluting her and John both. “You made me proud today. I’m sure you made your mother proud, as well.” Then he nodded farewell and hurried to catch up to the ambassador. Right, Sera knew that Anderson knew their mother... but did that mean their mother had known about their Spectre nominations? She certainly hadn’t mentioned it when they’d talked briefly yesterday, though perhaps it explained why she had been reaching out to John yesterday out of the blue and had been a bit miffed when he’d ignored her message. That or she’d heard about Eden Prime.

John crossed his arms and turned to face her. “Well, it looks like you have your own briefing to get to right now,” he said, indicating Admiral Kahoku, who was still waiting for her. “Can we talk, though? After, I mean?”

Sera let out a breath. “Yeah, that sounds good. Do you want to meet somewhere for lunch?” When John nodded, she said, “Alright. Find a place and message me your location. I’ll make sure Kahoku at least lets me grab a bite to eat with humanity’s _other_ Spectre before he pulls me away for a mission.”

“See you in a bit then,” he said, reaching out and patting her on the arm briefly before heading towards his waiting crew. Sera watched as they eagerly greeted their commander, and she tried not to let it bother her that he had a group of people who cared about him waiting to congratulate him whereas she had no one. Well, just Kahoku, apparently.

She was about to turn away when Kaidan glanced over at her and their eyes met briefly. He grinned and gave her a thumbs up, and she let out a quiet laugh as a smile broke out across her own face. Williams caught Kaidan’s gesture and quickly turned in the direction he was looking, catching Sera’s returning thumbs up; even at this distance Sera could see the woman roll her eyes before she playfully socked Kaidan on his shoulder, causing him to shoot Williams a halfhearted glare. When he looked at Sera again, his smile was more sheepish. 

Okay, maybe she didn’t have _no one_.

  
*****

  
About an hour later, Sera was walking into a restaurant that served both levo- and dextro-foods from different cultures around the galaxy, and she could immediately see why John chose it. The restaurant was near the C-Sec offices where the Normandy was docked, and it was frequented by many C-Sec officers; in fact, it seemed that many of them were here on their lunch breaks right now. With some of the other Alliance docks also nearby, there were many marines about, so between the officers and soldiers, she and John at least didn’t look quite so noticeably out of place here in their full armor like they did up in the Citadel Tower or on the Presidium.

News of humanity’s two new Spectres already seemed to be spreading because as she entered she could see the heads of those sitting nearby turned eagerly towards John’s table, and even she garnered a few second glances and whispered comments herself as she walked through the busy seating area.

John was sitting at a table for four with Kaidan, Williams, and Wrex. Wrex was the only krogan in the entire establishment—and his very presence made it patently clear that this place wasn’t designed for krogans. Sera was impressed that the chair managed to hold together beneath the large warrior’s bulk, and his armored back was nearly pressed up against the table behind him, preventing anyone from sitting there or even just passing between the two tables. John, Williams, and Wrex were engaged in an animated conversation while Kaidan watched on, shaking his head.

“Hmph! Bastard didn’t even thank you,” Sera could hear Wrex saying as she got within earshot of their table.

“Figures. What do you expect from a politician?” Williams scoffed.

Kaidan noticed Sera first and waved her over to the table. As she reached the group, Williams greeted her.

“Congratulations, Spectre Shepard. You made the Alliance and humanity proud today.” At her words, John looked up to see Sera standing beside him.

Sera opened her mouth to thank the gunnery chief, but John cut in before she could get a word out.

“Wait,” he said, feigning confusion and turning back to look at Williams. “Which Shepard are you talking to, Chief?” he teased. Sera crossed her arms and cocked a hip, looking at the woman as well.

Williams looked between them both, then shrugged. “The badass one, of course.”

“I mean, that... doesn’t really clear things up, Williams,” Kaidan countered. Wrex chuckled darkly.

“Okay, the hot one?” Williams added, shrugging her shoulders again as if that settled things.

“What are you…” Kaidan trailed off, blushing furiously.

“Well,” John said with a smirk, “ _I_ think it’s very clear which one of us she’s talking about.”

“Oh, you wish,” Sera shot back, grinning at her brother.

“Okay, fine,” Williams relented, giving Kaidan a pointed look. “Clarification: the _pretty_ one. Does that clear things up, LT?”

“ _Williams_ …” Kaidan murmured under his breath, still blushing.

“I think that’s pretty clear,” Sera said with a laugh. “Thanks, Williams.”

“Of course, Shepard,” Williams replied, nodding at Sera.

“That hurts, Chief. Right here,” John pouted, tapping his chest. “Don’t you know anything about loyalty? _I’m_ your CO.”

“Sorry to break your heart, Skipper,” she replied.

Sera appreciated the lighthearted banter from John’s team. She had hoped things wouldn’t be awkward with them after last night, and she needed a bit of a lift after the briefing she’d just had with Kahoku. And anyway, today really was a day to celebrate, in spite of the seriousness of the missions she and John were both about to undertake.

Suddenly, everyone except John began to push themselves away from the table and started getting to their feet. “Wait, you all don’t need to leave,” Sera said quickly. “Please, stay.”

“It’s alright,” John assured her. “They knew I was meeting you for lunch—they were just keeping me company until you got here. And _anyway_ ,” he glared at Wrex, “our new crew members need to get their gear and settle themselves on the Normandy before we can leave.”

“I told you, Shepard,” Wrex said gruffly, “I don’t have any other gear to get, and I’m sure your cushy little Normandy will be fine.”

“Little is right,” John replied. “You’re so big we’ll have to find somewhere you can stay comfortably on the ship. Maybe down in the cargo bay. Make it happen, Staff Lieutenant.”

“Yessir,” Kaidan replied, giving John a quick salute. “Come on, Wrex. I’ll give you the Normandy tour. Garrus and Tali are meeting us on the docks with their gear shortly,” Kaidan added, beckoning for the large krogan to follow. Williams began leading the way out of the restaurant.

“Well, it was good to see you all again,” Sera said, settling down into the seat across from John that Williams had just vacated. “Good luck.” She gave the departing group a wave.

“See you all back on the ship,” John called, giving an informal salute to his Alliance crew.

Kaidan waved at Sera before turning to follow Williams away from the table. Wrex, however, paused after just a couple paces, then walked back over to them. John could see Sera’s gaze angled upwards, so he turned his head to see what she was looking at and found himself peering up at Wrex as well, who was towering over both of them as they remained seated.

“Is there something you need, Wrex?” John asked somewhat sternly.

“Yeah. I need to say something to the tiny human,” he replied dismissively, leaning down slightly so he could look Sera in the eyes. Sera stiffened. Was he still carrying on with this ‘tiny human’ shit? But before she could comment on it, the krogan surprised her by asking, “Is what your brother said true?”

Sera blinked, a bit unsure as to what Wrex could be talking about. She glanced at John, who was suddenly pointedly not looking at her.

“I—I don’t know. What did he say?” Sera asked hesitantly.

“He said you were on Akuze.” Sera’s breath caught in her throat as Wrex continued. “And that when you were on Akuze, you faced down a thresher maw. That you were grievously injured but survived it.” His tone was almost casual, as if he was only reciting facts and not also describing the most traumatic experience of Sera’s life.

She swallowed hard, trying to keep herself calm while being acutely aware that John was listening to every word. “I don’t know that I’d say I faced it down…” She took in a deep breath and then exhaled before continuing. “But yes. My squad and I were attacked by thresher maws on Akuze. I was badly injured, but I survived. I’m the _only_ one who survived.” She kept her voice steady as she spoke and tried to adopt a defiant look even as she felt like she wanted to bolt. If he was about to give her shit about what had happened to her…

But Wrex simply shook his head as if in disbelief and gave her a serious look. “On Tuchanka, facing a thresher maw is a rite of passage for krogan. Not all survive. That _you_ survived says a lot about you, tiny human. It might even make you one of us.” He reached out and clapped her heavily on her shoulder—her left shoulder, she thought gratefully. And this time, when he used the nickname he had given her, he said it with a tone of admiration, as if the fact that she was so tiny and a human made her survival all the more impressive to him.

“Um, thank you, Wrex,” she said, nodding at him. He nodded back to her, respectfully, then turned to follow after Kaidan and Williams, who had paused at the entrance of the restaurant and were waiting for the krogan with curious looks on their faces.

Sera pulled her gaze away from the departing group and looked back at John who had a bemused look on his face. “Well, that was weird,” she said, unsure of how else to characterize the conversation she’d just had.

“You’re telling me,” John said. “So are you an honorary krogan now or something?” he asked teasingly.

“Apparently,” she replied. “I’ll let you know when they send me my membership card.”

He let out a laugh, then suddenly fidgeted with the glass of water sitting in front of him. “Lunch should be here shortly. I gave the waitress your order,” he said, not looking at her.

“Thanks,” she replied. Sera shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “John, look, I’m—”

“You don’t have to say it, Sera,” he interrupted. “You don’t need to explain or justify or apologize for anything.” He raised his head and looked her in the eye. Sera held his gaze, then nodded.

“Thank you. I appreciate you saying that. But I do want to apologize. Or at least,” she paused, taking a moment to organize her thoughts before continuing, “I wanted to tell you that you were right.”

John raised an eyebrow at her but said nothing, letting her continue.

Sera sighed. “Last night, you said that I wasn’t ‘over it.’”

He winced. “Sera, I shouldn’t have—”

“John, please.” She leaned forward and reached out, clasping a hand over his on the table. “You were right. I’m not over it. I probably won’t ever be _over_ it, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be able to talk about. Or at least be around other people even mentioning topics tangentially related to it.” Sera gave him a pointed look, and then pulled away, straightening. “So I’m sorry about bolting last night. I hope I didn’t make things weird for you with your crew.”

John rolled his eyes at her—a gesture she probably deserved given how much she rolled her eyes at him. “Don’t worry about it. Joker apologized about fifty times—he can be an ass on a _good_ day and he didn’t realize what he had stepped in with that stupid game. Apparently Williams thinks you’re the hotter, more badass Shepard, so you’re good to go there. Tali was just worried about you. I think she’s really taken a liking to you. Even Garrus was concerned—I turned him down, but he offered to have one of his colleagues from C-Sec check on you and make sure you'd made it home okay. Alenko was practically tripping over himself to see how you were doing this morning. And I think Wrex just offered you a krogan marriage contract—actually, Alenko might also want to offer you a marriage contract. So I think everyone’s fine.” He was laughing by the last sentence.

“Gods, shut _up_ ,” she said, leaning forward again and punching John in the shoulder.

“ _You_ shut up,” he countered, swinging at her in retaliation just as she shifted quickly backwards out of his reach. She couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up when he missed.

“Ahem.” Both their heads turned sharply as they looked to the source of the sound of someone clearing their throat beside their table. It was a pretty blonde waitress holding two plates of food. Her eyebrows were raised and the expression on her face seemed to say that she couldn’t decide whether to laugh at them or scold them for misbehaving.

Sera’s face flushed red. Geez. She and John were just named humanity’s first Spectres and here they were acting childishly in a restaurant. “Sorry,” she murmured at the waitress as she placed their meals in front of them.

“No worries,” the waitress replied kindly, her eyes sparkling. “Enjoy your food.” The young woman gave John a lingering smile before walking away, a smile which he returned. Sera rolled her eyes at her brother as she slid her own plate closer.

“What!” he exclaimed indignantly when he caught her expression.

“Nothing,” she replied, shaking her head.

Silence fell over their table for a few minutes as they both dug into their food. John had ordered a cheeseburger; he always liked to order whatever hearty, unhealthy food he could since he usually couldn’t get it aboard ships. Meanwhile, Sera picked at her salad, deep in thought as her mind drifted back to the meeting she’d just had with Admiral Kahoku.

As she’d accompanied him back to the Alliance wing of the embassy, Kahoku had been extremely gracious and congratulatory about her Spectre appointment, to the point that Sera suspected he had also known she and John were going to be confirmed even before it had happened. He was her commanding officer, so it did seem reasonable that he’d been kept apprised of their status throughout the process. Though, again, it would have been nice if someone had clued her in to the whole situation with both her and John; she appeared to have been the only one mostly kept out of the loop.

He had kept their conversation fairly light until they’d reached his office, at which point, however, the tone of their meeting had immediately shifted. There was a desperation in his voice that she hadn’t heard from him before, and he sounded even more frustrated by the bureaucratic roadblocks he’d been up against than he had yesterday morning when he’d first talked with her. His efforts to track down the missing marine crew—including the meeting he’d managed to arrange with the Councilors' assistants, had proved fruitless.

Finally, Kahoku had laid it out for her—his own efforts had ultimately gone nowhere, but now that she was a Council Spectre and was no longer bound by the same jurisdictional restrictions he was as solely an officer of the Alliance, albeit a high-ranking one, the investigation would be turned over to her. While Anderson and Udina were working out plans for humanity’s other Spectre to chase down Saren, Sera would be given the task of tracking down the missing marines. Though she was glad for the opportunity to try and find the missing team, _of course_ , it seemed as though something more was going on here, otherwise she couldn’t see why the Council would give one of their two new human Spectres leave to pursue what seemed like an Alliance matter. Being given the reins to an operation for which she wasn’t yet privilege to the larger picture concerned her.

“Earth to Sera!” John said loudly, startling Sera suddenly out of her own thoughts. He was holding what remained of his burger in his hands while he stared at her, apparently waiting for her to notice that he’d been talking to her.

“Huh?” she mumbled dumbly. Had she been that mired in her own thoughts? “S-Sorry, just distracted by my briefing with Kahoku, I guess.”

“I gathered that,” John replied. “Can you talk about it? I get it, if not—your stuff with Kahoku is usually off limits. But since we’re both Spectres now…”

Sera pondered John’s question while she chewed a bite of salad. He had a point—the mission _was_ hers now and John was a fellow Spectre. Maybe he’d be able to help her somehow? She glanced around to see if anyone might be within earshot. Much of the restaurant had cleared out as the lunch hour had passed, and though there were still some other patrons seated at tables nearby, they didn’t seem to be paying them any mind.

“Well,” she began, lowering her voice and leaning forward slightly so they might have some semblance of privacy, “my last mission was with a small marine squad out in the Artemis Tau cluster. We recovered what we were meant to, but Kahoku sent the team back out there to collect more data and they’ve dropped out of contact.” John paused his chewing and gave her a concerned look. “His efforts to pursue the investigation were blocked, so we’re hoping I have better luck with my new Spectre status.”

“So what’s your first move?” he asked after swallowing.

She shrugged. “All I can really do is go back out there and start looking for them where our last mission ended.”

He set down the rest of his burger and gave her a serious look. “Sera… Those marines went back out there and now they’re missing.”

“I know! But what else can I do? I need to find them, and I don’t know where else to start other than to go out there and follow their footsteps until the trail runs cold.” She didn’t really like the plan either, having no idea what she might be walking into. But she had to try something.

John huffed a breath and ran his hand over his head. “Just be careful, will you? And please keep me posted on where you are? No going weeks without contact.”

“Aww, are you worried about me?” she said sweetly, grinning at him playfully as she poked at the remnants of her salad.

“Of course I am,” he replied, not replicating her teasing tone. Sera looked up at him and the smile slid off her face as she realized just how serious he was being. She set her fork on her plate.

“You know I worry about you, too, right?” she said. “This goes both ways. I know you’re on this fancy new stealth ship with Anderson and have this kickass crew, but this whole Saren thing… it’s dangerous, alright? He _killed_ Nihlus, John. I've seen Nihlus fight and Saren just killed him. Saren sounds like a real bastard. You need to be careful, too. I _know_ you—no taking unnecessary risks.”

“So we’re in agreement then,” John replied, winking at her. “Necessary risks only.”

“You’re an ass,” she chided, chuckling and picking up her fork again.

“I know. Hey—I should probably get going, but when do you think you might be heading out there?”

She thought for a moment. “I’m not really sure. I’m not already attached to a ship and crew like you are, so I need to see what sort of resources we have access to now that we’re Spectres. If Kahoku can’t get me some kind of temporary access to an Alliance ship, maybe I can catch a ride with a turian scouting frigate or an STG crew that’s headed out that way or something. I’ll have to see,” she said, shrugging.

John furrowed his brow at her. “It was kind of weird that Udina seemed eager to get me access to resources and not you. If I need a ship and crew, won’t you need one, too?”

Sera scoffed. “Yeah, well, I think he likes you better than me.”

“Why do you say that?” John asked, confused.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Sera said, tapping her chin and pretending to think for a moment. “Perhaps because you’re a man and I’m a woman. Or perhaps because you’re famous for earning the Alliance a victory at Torfan whereas all I did was not die from a thresher maw attack. Take your pick.”

“But we're both N7s and we were _both_ at Elysium..." He paused, then added, "Yeah, you're right. Udina’s a dick,” he replied.

Sera barked out a laugh. “Ha, yeah. It’s nothing I’m not used to.”

John gave her a strange almost sad look. “Hmm, well, like I said, please keep me posted? If I can support you in any way, please let me know. We’re humanity's first Spectres—we have to stick together.”

“Is that the only reason we have to stick together?” she teased.

“Nope, just the latest reason,” he clarified. After a pause, he asked, “So are we good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Good. I hate to leave you, but I should check in with Anderson. If I don’t get to see you before I leave, call me when you have any updates on your plans, yeah?” He pushed his chair away from the table and started to get to his feet.

“Of course. Good luck, John.”

“You know, the last time you wished me good luck, you knew before I did that we were being considered as Spectres,” he said, giving her a searching look. “Anything you want to tell me this time?”

She laughed, “Nope, I don’t know anything. I swear.” She held up her right hand and crossed her fingers.

“If you say so. Bye, Sera,” he said.

“Goodbye, John,” she replied, giving him a quick wave.

She watched as John took a few steps away from the table, then turned around, walked back, and pushed his chair in. Sera smirked at him, in response to which he rolled his eyes before turning and walking away again, this time without looking back. Sera almost laughed out loud after he was gone; he had only done that for her, knowing she’d be annoyed at his lack of consideration if he’d left the chair pulled out. She would have pushed it in for him before she’d left herself, of course, but he’d also known that, too.

Sera sighed and rested her elbow on the table, propping her chin on her fist while she picked up her fork again and jabbed at the last pieces of lettuce on her plate. She couldn’t help but feel she was standing on the precipice of something big, that something in her life had fundamentally changed today. There was the obvious change, of course, and the reality of her new Spectre position still hadn’t quite sunk in. But it was something more than that, just one of those feelings of monumental existential transformation that settled over you sometimes even if you couldn’t quite figure out what it meant.

Her omni-tool pinged a message alert, and she set down her fork _again_ so that she could pull up her omni’s display. Perhaps it was a congratulatory message from her mother? Or Admiral Kahoku with new information for her, maybe? Or possibly more news from the Council about her promotion to Spectre?

It was none of those, but the message did bring a soft smile to Sera’s lips when she saw who it _was_ from. Kaidan.

 **  
KAlenko:** _Start thinking about where I can take you on our date. Or maybe I should let you take me out, Spectre._

  
She audibly laughed, forgetting for a moment that she was sitting alone at a table in a restaurant and would probably garner a couple of strange looks for it.

 **  
SShepard:** _I’m sure I can come up with something suitable. See you soon, soldier._  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been quite a while between chapters, so a couple of excuses ::ahem:: explanations for the delay:
> 
> 1) This was going to be the last chapter tootling around the Citadel before we start jumping into more story missions around the galaxy, and I realized that I needed to stop and revisit my story outline and make some important changes/decisions about some of the upcoming missions regarding order, personnel, and outcomes. I now have it worked out that I think this first work will end up somewhere around 24 chapters, including the prologue/epilogue and I’ve already started drafting some of the future scenes so more progress has been made than it seems, even if it hasn’t all been in this one chapter.
> 
> 2) When I reaffirmed my decision that the Normandy would be handed over solely to John and not both Shepards (which I guess *technically* hasn't happened yet but was implied here), that meant that I needed to start doing some extra planning and research as I was going to have to get creative about how Sera would accomplish her future missions. John has a convenient ready-made stealth/recon ship and crew waiting to zip him around the galaxy; Sera does not. That means you may see some familiar faces, some unexpected ones, and some original characters joining her on some of her missions or at least helping get her to them. Should be interesting!
> 
> 3) Honestly, for this last one I am just chalking the extra delay up to stress and exhaustion. In between the last chapter and this one I was placed in quarantine because of a Covid exposure at work--a careless coworker came to work ill, and thankfully I didn’t get sick, but being in quarantine isn’t the bastion of unadulterated free time you might think it could be. This all happened right around Thanksgiving too, which made it all the more frustrating and stressful. So, needless to say, finding motivation to write has been difficult these past weeks. I started making daily and monthly writing goals for December, and so far I’ve been keeping to them, so here’s hoping that means less than 6 weeks before the next chapter gets posted!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me!


	7. Search and Rescue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For storytelling reasons, I’m making a couple of internal structural changes to the Normandy, blending a bit of elements of the SR-1 and SR-2—primarily relating to confusion I have around where the heck the crew lives (sleeps/preps food/showers/stores their personal effects) on the SR-1. The precise layout isn’t terribly important, but I may refer to crew quarters or bunks or showers or something being on the crew deck, so I just wanted to officially declare this Normandy modified from the original.
> 
> Also, as far as I can find, the exact system of the Artemis Tau mass relay is never specified, so I’m placing it in the Knossos system (or if it is specified in-game and I missed it… I’m moving it, ha ha).

Striding purposefully through the C-Sec atrium, John headed straight for the elevator that would take him to the Normandy’s dock above. Anderson had contacted him just as he was leaving lunch with Sera, and he didn’t want to keep the captain waiting.

He leaned against the side wall, settling in for the long ride up to the docking bay. John crossed his arms impatiently as he waited for the doors to close, and he found himself listening absently to the kitschy music being piped over the speakers. Despite John’s hurry, Anderson would have to wait for him to ride this damned slow elevator. _It_ certainly didn’t seem to care that it was ferrying one of humanity’s first Spectres, he mused.

Suddenly, the music cut away, and a cool male voice began giving a news report.

_“In breaking news, the Citadel Council has appointed Alliance Commanders Jonathan Shepard and Serafina Shepard, known throughout the galaxy as the Heroes of Elysium, to be humanity’s first Spectres. Their appointment has been lauded by some, while others see the move as controversial. Critics of the Council’s decision argue that humanity has not yet proven itself...”_

He stopped listening to the report and frowned to himself. They already had critics? What the hell? They’d been Spectres for all of an hour or two—he and Sera hadn’t even done anything as Spectres yet. These critics weren’t giving them a fair chance. He supposed it came with the territory, but it reminded him of how the media had reviled him immediately after Torfan and he hated it.

When the elevator door finally slid open, John almost didn’t notice for a moment, his mind was so caught up in his frustration over the content of the news bulletin. He finally looked up and caught sight of Anderson and Udina standing on the docking platform just a few meters ahead, the Normandy docked just beyond.

John walked over to the two men, who were deep in conversation but turned to him as he approached. “Captain,” he said as he saluted Anderson, who quickly returned the gesture. “Ambassador.” He hoped Udina would take being addressed second as the slight he intended it to be.

To John’s disappointment, the ambassador didn’t react other than to perhaps narrow his eyes at him for a moment before speaking to him. “I’ve got big news for you, Shepard. Captain Anderson is stepping down as the commanding officer of the Normandy. The ship is yours now.”

John couldn’t hide the look of surprise on his face as his gaze slid to Anderson, whose arms were now crossed in front of his chest. Anderson was stepping down? Voluntarily or…?

Anderson’s expression was unreadable, though he nodded once to confirm Udina’s pronouncement. He was still wearing his Alliance blues from their meeting with the Council earlier; it was clear that something quick and drastic that John didn’t understand had happened between the Council meeting and now.

“She’s quick and quiet and you know the crew. Perfect ship for a Spectre. Treat her well, Commander,” was all Anderson said by way of explanation, as if this were a simple and typical transfer of command. But there was a coolness in his tone of voice and a stiffness to his posture that belied his otherwise calm words.

“What’s going on, Captain?” John pressed. If Anderson was really giving up the Normandy, John deserved to know why. “I want the truth. Why are you stepping down, sir?”

Anderson didn’t miss a beat despite John’s prodding. “You needed your own ship. A Spectre can’t answer to anyone but the Council. And it’s time for me to step down.” But again, the way Anderson’s gaze drifted slightly downwards as he spoke suggested to John that there was more going on here. Udina’s presence aside, he just wanted an honest answer from his apparently former-CO.

“Come clean with me, Anderson. You owe me that much.” John crossed his own arms now and looked Anderson firmly in the eye.

This time, Anderson did pause, apparently considering whether or not to respond to John’s query. All at once, he seemed to come to a decision, his stoic expression giving way as he let his arms fall to his sides.

“I was in your shoes twenty years ago, Shepard. They were considering me for the Spectres.”

 _Well, shit_. John definitely hadn't been expecting that.

“What happened?” It was perhaps a bit unfair, asking Anderson to explain a decades-old failure of which he was undoubtedly not proud, but John felt he was owed an explanation about how it played into what was happening now.

Anderson waved the question away. “Ask me later and I’ll tell you the whole story. For now, all you need to know is that I was sent on a mission with Saren, and he made sure the Council rejected me. I had my shot. It came and went. Now you have a chance to make up for my mistakes.”

Well, well. That certainly explained why Udina had thought Anderson’s involvement in their investigation of Saren would hinder their success with the Council. He glanced at Udina, and the ambassador’s expression all but confirmed it.

“Yessir,” John replied. “Is there any word on Saren then? What kind of leads do we have?” Hopefully Anderson or Udina had something they could give him. Otherwise, he’d have nowhere to point this expensive new ship they’d given him.

“It’s not Saren you need to focus on right now, Shepard. He’s gone. Don’t even try to find him.” John was about to argue, but Anderson continued before he could. “But we _do_ know what he’s after: the Conduit. He’s got his geth scouring the Traverse looking for clues.”

Udina explained, “We had reports of geth in the Feros system shortly before our colony there dropped out of contact. And there have been sightings around Noveria.”

John was immediately suspicious. “Why hasn’t the Alliance already sent teams to investigate these reports?” he demanded.

Udina waved away his question. “Multiple reasons. So far we just have vague reports—nothing definitive. Resources and personnel are tight. But honestly the biggest reason is that both colonies are tightly controlled by certain corporate interests; the Alliance can’t just go barging in without a verified, legitimate reason.”

“But a Council Spectre has more latitude,” John said, finally understanding the ambassador’s angle. Udina nodded.

“And if you can find out what Saren was after on Feros and Noveria, maybe you can figure out where the Conduit is before he does,” added Anderson.

John rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He really hated the idea of letting Saren just run loose around the galaxy, but if these were the only leads they had right now… he had to start somewhere.

“Fine, Feros and Noveria. Got it. Anything else?” John asked.

There was a slight pause, then Udina spoke again. “We have one more lead, Shepard.”

He sounded tentative, like he wasn’t entirely sure this was a lead worth pursuing. John barely held back a scowl, wondering if he even would have mentioned this lead if John hadn’t explicitly asked. Was the ambassador always scheming?

“Matriarch Benezia… The other voice on the recording?” Udina prompted. John nodded, remembering the evidence they’d gotten from Tali. “She has a daughter—a scientist who specializes in the Protheans. We don’t know if she’s involved, but it might be a good idea to try and find her. See what she knows. Her name’s Liara. Dr. Liara T’Soni. We have reports that she was exploring an archeological dig on one of the uncharted worlds in the Artemis Tau cluster.”

John perked up at that. Artemis Tau? An idea immediately began to form in his mind, but he held off mentioning it for the time being.

“Okay, I’ll find Benezia’s daughter, see if she knows anything. I’ll do whatever it takes to chase these leads down,” John said.

“Just remember, Shepard. You may be a Spectre, but your actions still reflect on humanity as a whole. You make a mess and I get stuck cleaning it up,” Udina warned, his tone condescending.

Yep, Udina _was_ a real dick. Sera had definitely called it.

“I’ll take care of tracking down the Conduit and stopping Saren. You just take care of the political fallout. That’s your _job_ , isn’t it, Ambassador?” John caught Anderson’s smirk out of the corner of his eye. It was all he could do to keep his own expression blank as he stared down the ambassador.

Udina narrowed his eyes. “Not exactly the response I was looking for, Shepard. Remember: you were a human long before you were a Spectre.”

“I don’t think I could forget that, Ambassador,” John replied dryly. Politicians.

“I have a meeting to get to,” Udina said suddenly. “Captain Anderson can answer any further questions you might have.” John wanted desperately to call him on his bullshit excuse to get away, but he figured he’d make more headway talking alone with Anderson anyway so he let the man go.

Without another word, the ambassador stalked away towards the elevator. Once he was sure they wouldn’t be overheard, John turned to Anderson. “Are you sure you’re okay with all of this, sir?”

Anderson shrugged. “Honestly? This isn’t how I pictured my career coming to an end. I’m an N7 like you, Shepard. Pushing papers isn’t really my thing.”

“Your career’s not over, Anderson,” John assured him. Unless... “They’re not forcing you to retire, are they?”

“No, nothing like that. But this morning I had my own command and now this afternoon… I’m stuck on the Citadel serving as an Alliance liaison to Udina.” John was about to protest, when Anderson held up his hand. “It’s alright. You’re the one with the best shot of stopping Saren anyway. I believe in you, Shepard. If helping you means I have to step aside, so be it.”

“Thank you for this opportunity, sir,” John replied. “I won’t waste it.”

“You’ve earned it. You and your sister—I meant it earlier when I said I was proud of you both.”

John nodded, then paused, wondering how best to broach the topic of the plan that had been formulating in the back of his mind for the past several minutes.

“Anderson, what do you know about the Artemis Tau cluster?”

Anderson waved a hand vaguely. “Not much. I’ve never been there myself. A handful of systems with a few small uncharted worlds but no real colonies. Maybe some mining operations. It might not be easy finding Dr. T’Soni out there.” He raised an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, it’s just… Sera just told me she’s trying to find a way to get to Artemis Tau. It’s to do with her mission for Admiral Kahoku. And unless there’s a second prototype stealth frigate around here I don’t know about…”

When John didn’t say more, Anderson's expression shifted as he understood John’s implication. The Alliance had provided one of its Spectres with a ship, crew, and resources but left the other bereft. “You want her to join you on the Normandy. But you’re concerned it wouldn’t be allowed,” he guessed.

John ran a hand over his head. "Nothing permanent—just a short-term partnership until she can figure something else out. These Artemis Tau missions just happened to line up perfectly."

“Well, Shepard, you’re a Spectre and the Normandy’s yours now. Where your ship goes and who’s on board when she goes there is your discretion. You don’t answer to me or technically even the Alliance anymore, really.”

“Right. But the Normandy’s still an Alliance vessel with an Alliance crew. What about regs? Sera and I have never shared a posting before. We just happened to be on shore leave together during the Blitz.”

“I’d say this is a gray area, Shepard,” Anderson said, looking thoughtful. “Yes, typically the Alliance doesn’t post family members together, but it isn’t unheard of. You must know that your mother and father were posted together for a few years on the Einstein, until—”

“I’m aware,” John said quickly. Anderson narrowed his eyes slightly but didn’t press the issue.

“Look, frat regs are really about preserving the integrity of chain of command and avoiding partiality or impropriety between commanding officers and subordinates. You are Sera are both Spectres now. You have equal Alliance rank. You’re both running your own separate missions. She would defer to you regarding ship operations, of course, and if either of you was involved in the other’s mission, you’d defer to the mission leader. You partnered together fine tracking down the evidence against Saren yesterday, didn’t you? This doesn’t have to be any different. It's always a risk having people you’re close to on your team or even just your ship, be they sibling, parent, spouse, best friend, romantic partner—whatever—that’s why the Alliance prefers to avoid it. But, sometimes, it's unavoidable. Just make sure it doesn’t compromise your ability to lead and make sound, unbiased decisions. I trust you can do that?”

“Of course, sir,” John replied. “I’m certain it wouldn’t be a problem for Sera as well.”

“Then I don’t think your proposal would be an issue.” Anderson reached out and clapped a hand on John’s shoulder. “Results, Shepard. Ultimately, for better or worse, all the Council and the Alliance want is results.”

“Understood, sir,” John replied. The decisions he had made at Torfan should have proved he understood that well enough, as Anderson must realize.

“Alright then,” Anderson said. “Now I’m off to go figure out how to be a paper pusher. Wish me luck, Shepard.”

John held out a hand. “Good luck, sir,” he said.

Anderson reached out and gripped John’s hand in return. “You too, Son.” John flinched inwardly at the endearment but didn’t let his reaction show. He stood politely at attention while Anderson walked away, waiting until the captain had boarded the elevator and disappeared from sight. John let out a slow breath, then turned to face the Normandy.

The Normandy was _his_. He was still trying to wrap his head around it.

He was about to walk up the gangway towards the ship’s airlock, when he realized he should probably call Sera about his plan before he did anything else. John paused, then opened his omni-tool and dialed his sister’s comms. She answered after a couple of beats.

“John? Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey, Sera… Have you figured out how you’re getting to Artemis Tau yet?”

There was a pause before she replied. “No? I only just got home. I haven’t had a chance to even start thinking about how to tackle that problem yet.”

“That’s good, actually, because I have an idea. Anderson and Udina just gave me the Normandy, and I actually need to head to Artemis Tau to chase down—”

She interrupted him before he could finish. “They... _gave_ you the Normandy? That’s... That’s amazing, John. Congratulations.”

He shifted a little uncomfortably, realizing only now how she might take that news. He decided to press ahead. “Look, I have a few leads to chase down, but one of them is in Artemis Tau. I thought that you might come with us. We could help you search the cluster for your missing marines while we’re there. Are you in?”

There was another pause from her end, a much longer one this time. He was about to ask if she was still there, when she finally spoke. “Yeah, okay. Let me pack my gear, but I can be at the Normandy in about an hour.”

“Okay, great. I’ll let Joker know to look for you. See you soon.”

They exchanged farewells and signed off. John felt a renewed surge of excitement as he turned back towards the Normandy. He couldn’t help that Sera wasn’t getting the same support he was right off the bat, but he felt good about being able to help her with her first mission. Hopefully she could figure things out from there.

He finally approached the Normandy’s airlock, which opened for him just as he reached it. He listened for the now-familiar feminine voice of the Normandy’s VI as the airlock door slid closed behind him. “Stand by shore party. Decontamination in progress.”

The decon protocol cycled quickly, and within moments he was entering the bridge.

“Logged: the Commanding Officer is aboard. XO Pressley stands relieved.” Apparently the Normandy’s VI had already had its staffing roster updated. He couldn’t help the swell of pride that rolled through him hearing him referred to as the Normandy’s CO.

“Heya, Commander,” Joker greeted as John came into view. "Congratulations."

“What do you make of all this, Joker?” John asked, walking over to stand behind the pilot’s chair. He rested his hands on the back of the seat, leaning his weight on it.

“My honest opinion, sir?” Joker asked, shifting a little to look back up at John before continuing. “I heard what happened to Captain Anderson. To get taken down by backroom politics like that… it sucks.” He shook his head as he settled back into his seat. “But don’t worry. Everyone on the ship is behind you, Commander. One hundred percent.”

“That’s good to hear, Joker. I’m going to go get situated. We’ll leave for the Artemis Tau cluster in about 90 minutes.”

“Wait, 90 minutes? Why not right—”

“Joker, when my sister arrives, will you please let her aboard and notify me?” John asked before turning to walk down the bridge towards the CIC.

“Sure—wait, what?” Joker called from the cockpit as John walked away.

“You heard me!” John called back.

A few of the flight crew congratulated him as he moved through the CIC, and he made sure to thank each of them by name. They were now _his_ crew, after all; it was important that he make sure to acknowledge each one of them. Anderson’s mentorship on their shakedown run was being put to use much sooner than John could’ve anticipated.

Pressly turned from his terminal near the galaxy map to salute John as he approached, a gesture John returned. They shared a brief exchange where Pressly expressed his reservations about having non-human crew members on board, something John should have seen coming after Pressly’s concerns about having Nihlus aboard just the other day. He pressed the man on the issue until he felt certain Pressly's prejudices wouldn’t be a problem, then continued down to the crew deck.

John spent the next hour or so gathering up his personal effects and moving his stuff into Anderson’s old cabin. The captain’s quarters were sparsely furnished but had the benefit of providing the Normandy’s commanding officer with privacy, which was a luxury in space. It felt a bit strange taking over the cabin; everything had changed so quickly and Anderson left some pretty big shoes to fill.

A little while later after he'd gotten out of his armor and stowed everything away, John was sitting at his terminal looking through the Normandy’s staffing and duty rosters when Joker’s voice broke through on the ship's comms. “Commander?”

“Yes, Joker?”

“Commander Shepard, I mean Spectre Shep—for Christ’s sake— _your sister_ has arrived, sir.”

John let out a laugh. “Alright, I’ll be up in a minute.” He shook his head in amusement at the pilot’s struggle to differentiate them—it was something he and Sera were long used to by now. Being on board the same ship with his sister was certainly going to be fun.

When he reached the bridge, John found Sera standing already inside the airlock and chatting amicably with Joker. He was glad to see that they seemed to have moved past any potential bad feelings about what had happened last night. John was sure that Joker had certainly offered her repeated apologies, given how he’d felt after last night. Now, Sera was laughing pleasantly at something the pilot had just said, and when she turned her head and saw John approaching, she raised her hand in greeting. She was still wearing her armor from earlier, and she had a duffel bag slung over one shoulder and a long hard case that he knew must contain her prized Mantis rifle leaned up against the wall beside her.

“Glad you could make it, Spectre Shepard,” he said, grinning as he reached the cockpit.

“Thanks for the ride, Spectre Shepard,” Sera replied, returning his grin and crossing her arms.

“Of course, Spect—”

“Okay, guys, we _have_ to get this out of the way,” Joker interjected, rolling his eyes at them in a decidedly insubordinate gesture that John chose to ignore. He was getting used to Joker’s way of doing things by now; it was better to just go along with him most of the time. “We now have two Commander Shepards on board and you’re both Spectres. We need to figure out what to call you—or at least _I_ need to know how to officially differentiate between you since I run the comms on this ship. We can’t have any confusion during a mission or like an emergency or something.”

The pilot had a point. John crossed his arms, mirroring Sera’s pose. “Fair enough, Joker. Sera?”

Sera thought for a moment, then replied, “Well... since apparently we’re doing this... John uses his Alliance titles since the Normandy is technically an Alliance vessel: Commander or Commander Shepard. And then Spectre or just Shepard is me.”

“Works for me. Sound good, Commander?” Joker replied, checking with John.

John nodded his agreement. “Spread the word to the crew, Joker.”

“Yessir, Commander. Are we ready to leave? I’ve already run through the clearance process with the Citadel. Your new Spectre status gives us priority departure. We’re just waiting on your command.”

“Yeah, let’s head out, Joker. Get us out to the Artemis Tau cluster. We’ll work on getting you a more specific destination.”

“Aye aye, sir,” Joker said, turning and focusing on the panels in front of him. He began the process of programming their route and contacting the Citadel about final departure checks.

“If you show me where I can bunk and a locker I can use, I’ll get my stuff stowed and then we can come up with a plan? You haven’t really told me much of anything about what you need to do way out in Artemis Tau,” Sera said, shifting her duffel bag more securely on her shoulder and then picking up her rifle case.

John led Sera through the ship, pausing briefly to introduce her to Pressly, who seemed quite pleased to meet her. Not that John had really been worried about it, but he was grateful that all of the crew they encountered welcomed her and expressed their delight in having her aboard. John still felt a bit guilty that he had been given the Normandy and she had been given nothing; he at least wanted his crew to be welcoming towards her.

After making it through the CIC, he led her downstairs to give her a tour of the crew deck, where they came across a handful of the Normandy’s ground crew sitting around the table chatting and waiting for departure.

“Commanders!” Alenko startled to his feet, saluting John and Sera as they entered the mess. It took Williams a moment to register what was happening, but she quickly also climbed to her feet, imitating the lieutenant. Garrus and Tali were sitting at the table as well, but they remained seated, turning their heads to look at John and mostly appearing unsure about whether they should also be doing what the two human crew members were doing.

“At ease, everyone, _please_ ,” John said, waving Alenko and Williams down. “I don’t want you saluting every time I walk into a room. That will get real old real quick on a small ship.”

“Maybe _I_ want them saluting whenever _I_ walk into the room,” Sera quipped. He put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her away playfully. He realized then that they were all staring at them, slightly wide-eyed, likely wondering what the hell Sera was doing there.

He cleared his throat. “ _She’s kidding_ , of course. You all remember Sera, I assume? She is going to be joining us on this next run—she has a Spectre mission out in Artemis Tau, as well.”

“So two Commander Shepards on board? Oh, this should be fun,” Williams said, grinning wryly. She turned then to Alenko, who was still looking a bit starry-eyed at Sera, and elbowed him. “Right, LT?”

John almost laughed as he saw Alenko turn a delicate shade of red. Better put the man out of his misery for now. He announced, “We’re leaving shortly. Alenko, do the rounds and make sure everyone knows where they are in the duty rotation.”

“Yessir,” he replied, finally tearing his eyes away from Sera. Oh boy, the lieutenant had it bad for Sera. Well, good for them, John thought. His sister deserved some companionship in her life.

“Come on,” John said, turning away and beckoning for Sera to follow him, “I’ll show you where the women's bunks are.”

He led her to the currently empty crew quarters and found her an open lower bunk alongside an empty locker where she could store her effects. John leaned his shoulder against the locker while Sera set her rifle case on her bed and placed her duffel bag on top of it, unzipping it. “There are additional lockers for armor and weapon storage down in the shuttle bay near the workbenches. Just find a locker that’s unclaimed and it’s yours to use. Think you can find your way down there okay? You can go see Chief Engineer Adams over in engineering if you have any questions.”

“I’m sure I can manage.” Sera turned to face him and placed a hand on her hip. “This isn’t my first rodeo and the Normandy's not _that_ big. You’re sure you’re okay with this?” she asked, checking with him.

“Yeah. It kinda worked out perfectly, actually. I’m glad you’re here,” he replied seriously. He meant it, too.

“Me, too. So where should I find you once I get my gear squared away?” she asked, starting to reach into her bag and take out what he recognized was a set of standard Alliance BDUs.

“Galaxy map. Can’t miss it right there in the middle of the CIC.” John straightened, pushing himself off of her locker and opening it for her.

“Got it. See you in a few for mission planning, _Commander Shepard_ ,” she said teasingly as she reached into the locker and took out a hanger. His sister never failed to impress him for who she was; he admired how easily she seemed to balance her familiar good-natured disposition with her sharp mind and serious military efficiency.

“Yeah, yeah,” John said dismissively as he made his way toward the door. “Careful you don’t get yourself written up for insubordination, _Spectre Shepard_ ,” he called back over his shoulder.

When she didn’t reply, he glanced back and saw that she was reaching into her bag with one hand while her other hand reached up and was giving him the finger over her shoulder. She hadn’t even turned to look at him as she did it. He laughed. Oh, this was going to be fun, indeed.

  
*****

  
John was looking at a map of the Artemis Tau cluster that he zoomed in to study more closely when he heard the sound of the door to the CIC sliding open behind him.

Before he could even turn to see who it was, Sera was speaking to him. “So what is this lead you’re chasing down out here and where do we need to start looking?” She came over to stand beside him, and when he turned his head to look at her, he saw that she was _still_ wearing her armor. So she’d quickly stowed her effects and her rifle and come directly here then. Straight to work.

"Planning on seeing some action in the very near future?" he asked her, calling her out on remaining in her armor.

She shrugged. "Until I know what the plan is, it seemed pointless to get out of my armor. Figured it was more important to get up here and figure out the plan than waste time changing if I had to change right back."

Fair enough, he thought. To work, then. “Do you remember that there was a second voice on Tali’s recording—the one that Councilor Tevos identified?”

Sera thought for a moment. “An asari... Matriarch Benezia, right?” She folded her arms across her chest and looked down at the galaxy map, carefully studying the Artemis Tau map as well.

“Right. Well, apparently she has a daughter who’s a scientist—a Prothean expert, actually—and is possibly at a dig site on one of the uncharted worlds in Artemis Tau,” he said as he gestured vaguely at the cluster. “That’s basically all I have to go on.”

"Prothean... like that beacon that gave you visions on Eden Prime?" she asked casually.

Shit, he had forgotten to tell her about the visions, but he'd brought them up at the Council meeting today. "Uh, yeah. Like that."

Sera sighed, then walked over to a console and and began typing in some commands. Of course Sera would feel immediately comfortable accessing the Normandy’s nav charts and information databases.

“Sure, you can use that. Make yourself at home,” John teased. Sera looked up long enough to shoot him a cocky smirk, then went back to typing. He thought he heard Pressly hold back a snort of laughter.

He watched as the galaxy map zoomed in even more closely on one of four highlighted star systems.

“This is the Knossos System,” Sera explained. “It’s where the cluster’s mass relay is, so we may as well start there.”

“Is this where your team was last heard from?” John asked hopefully, looking over at her. It was convenient that Sera had just been out to this cluster rather recently; she already had a sense of the area.

Sera shook her head. “We’ll have to head over to Sparta System for that—that’s where my last mission with them was and where Kahoku sent them back to for follow-up recon. Since it takes about half a day to travel to Sparta from Knossos, we should check Knossos for your scientist first.”

Joker’s voice interrupted them as he broadcast over the Normandy’s ship-wide comms. “Attention Normandy crew, this is your pilot speaking. We will be departing the Citadel for the Artemis Tau cluster shortly. Make sure your tray tables are stowed and your chairs are in their upright positions. Please fasten your seatbelts and prepare for take-off.”

Sera paused and gave John a bemused look, her eyebrows raised in question. “ _Ignore_ him,” he told her. She laughed, shaking her head as she turned back to the console.

“Back to Knossos then. So this scientist is a Prothean expert...” Sera confirmed as she typed in some more commands.

“Yeah,” John replied, crossing his arms as he watched his sister do her thing. “Her name is Dr. Liara T’Soni.”

“Hmm, never heard of her,” Sera said, shrugging. “Okay. There are five planets and a couple of asteroid belts in Knossos. Give me a second—”

John watched as Sera leaned closer to her display seemed to be skimming through several database entries. He remained quiet, letting her focus on whatever she was reading.

“Alright,” she said finally, straightening and gesturing at the console. “I’d say planetary surface conditions rule out Archanes, Phaistos, and Zakros. And Armeni has apparently been listed by the Council as off-limits for archaeological excavations because of the presence of,” she read off of the display, “ancient zeioph grave sites. Zeioph? I’ve never even heard of them.”

“Me either. Nothing Prothean?” John asked. Sera looked down at the console, double-checking.

“Nope. Nothing about Protheans on Armeni. Therum, however, is another story.” She typed a few commands and John watched as the galaxy map zoomed in on a single planet. He looked at the projection of a large reddish-brown planet, and a database entry next to the image informed him that there was a small human-run mining operation on the planet despite its fairly high surface temperature.

“There are some unverified reports of Prothean ruins dotting Therum's surface—John, I mean, this is definitely your best shot in this system,” Sera walking over from the console to stand beside him in front of the galaxy map. “You have to check it out. I hope your scientist is there... if she’s not and we need to start checking moons, that’s going to take a little more time. And then there are three other systems just nearby...”

John began to pace as he formed a plan in his mind. While he wouldn’t mind taking Sera with him down to Therum, since he had a ground team at his disposal, her time would be better spent working with Joker on narrowing down her search for her own mission. She would want to come, but he’d take his own crew. “I’ll take a small squad down to Therum and see if we can track down this Dr. T’Soni. In the meantime, why don’t you work with Joker to see about locating your missing team. Once we’re actually in the cluster, maybe he can help you with some surveys or something that might turn up a lead.”

Sera raised an eyebrow at him, grinning. “'Some surveys or something'?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I obviously don’t know what I'm talking about. You know that recon's not really my thing; usually people just tell me where to go. Joker will help you with whatever you need.”

“Uh huh, fine, who are you going to take on your ground team then?” she asked. He could tell from her tone that he’d been correct in assuming that she had wanted to volunteer herself, but she was choosing not to comment on the fact that he’d ruled it out before she could.

He thought for a moment. They didn’t even know for sure if the doctor was down on Therum, but if she was, there was no way of knowing what they would find down there or how combative she might be; she _was_ an asari, which meant she was capable of using biotics even if she was a scientist and not a soldier. Perhaps everything would be fine, but what if she _was_ working with her mother? Or what if she wasn’t, but Saren had sent geth after her because of her Prothean expertise? They might have to fight their way both in and out of there.

“Alenko has proven himself in the ground and he’s also a medic. That could be useful; I don’t know what we’ll find down there or how cooperative Dr. T’Soni might or might not be. And he’s a biotic.”

Sera frowned. “This isn’t just a simple asset pickup then… You’re thinking you might have to fight to get her out of there? Or fight _her_? What do you expect to encounter down there—I thought she doesn’t know you are coming?”

“She _doesn’t_ know we’re coming—hell, I didn’t know we were coming to this cluster until less than two hours ago. But Saren knows we’re onto him now, and she’s Benezia’s daughter. I don’t know if she’s working with Benezia, but if she’s not, maybe Saren’s sent someone, even geth, after her.” John shook his head. “I just don’t want to take any chances. Alenko’s going. And I think Wrex, too—I could use a heavy hitter in case we do meet resistance, and I’d like to see what that old battlemaster can do when he really lets loose. I’d also like to make sure he can function as part of a team; he seems like a bit of a wild card.” John would rather find out sooner than later if having Wrex aboard as part of his crew wasn’t going to work out. “Plus, having two biotics along probably wouldn’t hurt.”

Without warning, John felt the Normandy shift as the docking clamps released and Joker maneuvered the ship out of its docking bay. It wouldn’t be long now before they made their first relay jump.

“Well,” Sera said once the sudden movement had ceased, “I’ll head up front and work with Joker then. Keep us posted while you’re on the ground. Let us know if we can offer you any support. I saw what you did there, by the way, specifically not including me on your ground team... I get it, but if you need backup, you know I’ll be down there in a second. _I’m keeping my armor on_ , John.” She gave him a serious look.

“Your time is better spent with working with Joker, but your offer is appreciated. We’ll keep in touch.” He raised his volume and hailed his helmsman on comms. “Joker?”

“A little busy here,” Joker replied tersely. Of course, the pilot probably needed to concentrate as he was about to take them through the relays.

“I’ll be quick. As soon as we reach Artemis Tau, head for Therum. Sera’s headed your way with more details. And have Lieutenant Alenko and Wrex meet me down in the cargo bay to brief in twenty; they’ll be on the ground team.”

“Got it, Commander,” Joker replied before ending the call.

“I’m off to see Joker, then—and I’ll make sure not to interrupt him because apparently he’s very busy just now,” Sera laughed. “Be careful down there. Good luck.”

  
*****

  
John and his ground squad were touching down on the surface of Therum in the Normandy’s Mako a little over an hour after arriving in Knossos. The thing was practically a tank, and while John didn’t like to admit it—he hated driving the damn thing. But the Mako was notoriously capable of handling practically any environment they’d be likely to encounter during their travels, so he grudgingly acknowledged that it was the perfect vehicle for the Normandy and whatever missions they’d be likely to undertake.

“Commander, I’m picking up some strange readings. Really strange. Like off the damn charts,” came Joker’s voice over the Mako’s radio. John was perched in the driver’s seat with Alenko riding shotgun. Crammed into the bench seat in the back was Wrex—a miscalculation on John’s part. The Mako really wasn’t designed for the krogan’s bulk; he couldn’t even strap into a seat harness. “It looks like it’s coming from an underground complex a few klicks away from the drop zone,” Joker added.

“Roger that, Joker,” John replied. “Send me the navpoint and we’ll start making our way there. Over and out.” He directed his next words towards Alenko. “Lieutenant, man the gun and make sure the cannon’s ready just in case. Wrex… just keep a wary eye out for me, got it?”

“Aye, sir,” Alenko replied, settling into position and readying the Mako’s artillery.

“What am I looking for, Shepard?” Wrex asked, peering at the monitors mounted on the interior of the Mako that displayed the surrounding terrain.

“I don’t know, Wrex. If we’ve got the wrong place, then nothing. Mining workers, I guess. But if Dr. T’Soni _is_ here? If Eden Prime taught us anything it’s to expect geth and worse than geth. Though I doubt we’ll run into Saren himself. We’d never be that lucky.” After a brief pause to check the data that was just sent down from the Normandy, he continued. “Alright, I’ve got the navpoint here,” he said, flipping several switches and adjusting several controls on his console. “Let’s go.”

John began to navigate the Mako over Therum’s uneven terrain, taking them along an unofficial ‘road’ that seemed to head in the general direction of their destination. The route was almost always flanked on one side—or sometimes both sides—by lakes of lava, requiring an additional level of focus on his part.

“What the hell are you doing, Shepard?” asked Wrex gruffly from the backseat after they had been driving for a short while.

Tense with concentration, John managed to spare a glance at the back seat to look at the massive krogan. “What do you mean?”

Wrex opened his mouth to answer, but was jostled by a sudden violent lurch of the Mako and thrown to the side, preventing him from responding. After Wrex had righted himself, he glared at John, then replied, waving a hand vaguely, “This. What is _this_? I assumed you knew how to drive this thing when I let you convince me to cram myself in here.”

John scowled, turning back towards the console in front of him and making a few adjustments. “It’s not _me_ , it’s this stupid—”

His own sentence was cut off when the Mako jolted vertically a few meters after he clipped a particularly steep embankment.

“It’s this stupid tank! And the terrain. Anyway, it’s not my fault you’re too big for a seat harness,” he snapped at the krogan.

“Krogan Tomkahs are better than this thing. Remind me to stay on your ship next time you ask me to join you on a mission,” Wrex grumbled. John chose to ignore him.

After a few more minutes of driving, they encountered their first evidence that they were indeed on the right track.

“Overhead, Commander. A dropship,” Alenko observed, pointing at one of the displays.

John halted the Mako and they all watched as a large dropship that was insect-like in appearance swooped low to the ground on the opposite side of a lava lake and unloaded several armature-class geth, which immediately began to fire upon them.

“And we have geth... I guess that’s a good sign, all things considered. Ready, Alenko?” John asked his lieutenant.

He had barely gotten Alenko’s confirmation before he was hurtling the Mako forward, swerving and dodging shots from the geth's thankfully slow-firing siege pulse cannons. John did his best to avoid the geth’s attacks while also remaining fairly level so that Alenko’s shots with the Mako’s own mass accelerator cannon could find their mark.

Just as the last of the geth fell, John felt the Mako shudder as it absorbed the impact of a final shot he had been unable to avoid.

“Everyone alright?” John asked.

“No worse than I was before the geth showed up,” Wrex complained from the backseat.

“The Mako’s shields are holding steady,” Alenko said, examining a readout panel closely. “We should be fine.”

Wrex piped up again from behind them, “Speak for yourselves.”

“God, Wrex,” John called back to him as he got the Mako moving forward along their path again. “I’ve served with new recruits who complain less than you.”

“Uh huh and were they riding in a Mako with you at the time? Because I find it hard to believe they did so without complaint.” Wrex let out a resounding grunt as he was thrown unceremoniously back against the seat as John swerved to avoid clipping yet another rocky outcropping.

“Pipe down, old man. Look, Alenko doesn’t have a problem with my driving, do you, Alenko.” John glanced over at his lieutenant when he didn’t immediately respond. “Alenko?”

“Uhh, sir?”

“Aw, dammit. Not you, too,” John groaned.

“Sorry, Commander,” Alenko replied. He at least sounded somewhat apologetic.

“Come on. I even introduced you to my sister.”

“What’s going on between you and his sister?” Wrex asked with interest from the back seat.

Alenko immediately turned around and glared at the krogan. “Absolutely nothing.”

“If you say so, Lieutenant,” John said, grinning. “Fine—fuck, okay. At the top of this incline our path is blocked by what looks to maybe be a refinery complex, which wouldn’t be a problem, except the scans are showing that the area is full of geth and defensive turrets.”

“Only a fool punches a nathak in the mouth, Shepard. We should sneak around and pull its tail,” Wrex advised, indicating a route on the nav display that seemed to curve around the complex.

“Uh, sure,” John said. He didn’t know what the hell a nathak was, but the krogan’s meaning still translated. “We’ll drive around back and take out what we can with the Mako, then hit the rest on foot.”

The geth ended up not putting up much of a fight, being little match for the Mako’s cannon and gun. The geth rocket troopers were the most annoying, but Alenko was able to take them out with several well-placed cannon shots.

“Nicely done, Alenko. Now let’s clear out these guardhouses and open these gates so we can keep moving,” John ordered.

They stayed together as a squad, moving efficiently through the small buildings and encountering only several geth shock troopers, which they easily handled.

“All clear,” Alenko called when they’d taken out the last of them.

“Why was this complex fortified?” Wrex wondered aloud, peering out the window of the gatehouse and watching the gate lower so they could proceed with the Mako. “There’s nothing here.”

“I’m not sure, but I’m convinced Dr. T’Soni must be somewhere nearby. Why else would all these geth be here?” John replied.

They climbed back into the Mako, Wrex still grumbling about the tight fit, and then proceeded to make their way towards the map navpoint Joker had sent them. They met small pockets of resistance from geth squads along their route, which included several tunnels that had been constructed to cut straight through mountains. John was grateful for the tunnels because it meant he didn’t have to try to navigate over the mountains in the Mako. Wrex was already pissed enough at him as it was.

Before long, they came to an impassable portion of the road. A large pile of boulders blocked their path and the terrain sloped upward at a nearly vertical incline.

“Don’t even think about it, Shepard,” Wrex warned.

“What?” John huffed indignantly. “I wasn’t thinking about it.” Okay, so he had been, but the krogan was right. Between the lava pools nearby and the verticality of the terrain, even the Mako wasn’t going to be able to help them here.

“I could see you trying to plot a route over that,” the old krogan grumbled.

“Something is jamming our systems, Commander,” Alenko pointed out, and John flicked through several comm channels and scanners to confirm.

John rubbed at his brow as he considered their options. He didn’t particularly want to leave the Mako behind; if they came up against more geth armatures, they’d sorely miss the Mako’s cannon. On the other hand, he felt more convinced than ever that they were on the right track. Turning around now was not an option.

“Alright, we’re going to go ahead on foot. Proceed with _caution_ —we’re essentially flying blind without our navigation or combat sensors.”

They exited the Mako and began to cautiously make their way through a winding pathway that slowly climbed up into some foothills. They encountered more geth, including a small force protected by a geth manning sniper’s perch, but it was nothing they couldn’t handle, particularly with Wrex along. The krogan battlemaster was a tank made flesh, easily throwing geth aside with his biotics and dominating the field of battle through sheer size alone.

“I thought you didn’t want to be here, Wrex?” John quipped as he secured his assault rifle after watching the krogan take down a geth shock trooper simply by charging straight at it.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to be _here_ … I just didn’t want to be crammed in that damned Mako any longer than I had to be.” Wrex tilted his head from side to side, as if stretching out a kink in his thick neck. “I doubt even a volus could be comfortable in that thing.”

John snorted a laugh, then beckoned for Wrex and Alenko to fall in behind him as he led the way up and over a pass.

“We’re almost to the navpoint Joker sent us,” John warned as they approached what looked to be another small refinery complex. “Stay alert.”

They seemed to have arrived at the base that housed the entrance to further mining operations below the surface. The complex appeared to have been abandoned, so John waved the team forward.

“What the hell was that?” Alenko asked suddenly, at the same moment John spotted movement in the corner of his own vision. Something leapt, lightning-quick, from a spot overhead to a perch off to their left.

“I don’t know. Find cover!” John hissed. He and Alenko moved swiftly to crouch behind a shipping container just ahead of them while Wrex took cover behind his own large crate several meters away. They all looked up as another dropship passed overhead, pausing to unload a squad of geth, including one of the giant geth armatures in their path.

“Shit,” John cursed under his breath. That armature was going to be a pain in the ass to take down on foot. He glanced over at Wrex and could see the large krogan practically trembling with anticipation for the upcoming battle; he looked ready to burst out from behind his cover and take on the entire geth squad single-handedly. Maybe he could use the krogan battlemaster's enthusiasm to their advantage.

“Wrex!” he called to the krogan through their comms. It took a moment, but Wrex finally glanced over at John, indicating that he had indeed heard him. “I need you to focus on taking out the infantry units and try to draw as much of their fire as you can. If one of those rocket troopers gets close to us, they’ll rip through our shields. Alenko and I will worry about the armature.”

The malicious grin on Wrex’s face told John that he was plenty satisfied with his orders, so when he turned to start firing at the approaching geth, John shifted his attention to Alenko. “Is there something you can do with your biotics? Then we hit it with all the firepower we’ve got.”

Alenko nodded, then held up his hands and closed his eyes for a moment, as if centering himself. He peered around the corner of their cover, then glanced back at John, waiting for his command.

“Now!” John yelled and leaned out to take several shots at the armature while Alenko worked his biotics. A moment later, Alenko began to glow a vibrant blue as he stood up and thrust his arms forward. Then, John watched in awe as the massive armature unit began to Lift off the ground and float several meters in the air, its legs slowly flailing. It seemed to be completely disabled as it floated within Alenko’s mass effect field and wasn’t returning John’s fire. “Alenko! Yes!” he shouted, taking aim as Alenko pulled his own pistol and joined him in firing at the massive geth.

The other geth seemed to falter somewhat, caught between maintaining their focus on Wrex, turning their attention to this new threat, or falling back and protecting the armature unit. Once John and Alenko managed to finish off the armature, they aided Wrex in taking out the last of the rocket and shock troopers that had managed to entrench themselves around the complex.

“Great work, team,” John said as they paused to catch their breath after the fight had been won. Alenko didn’t respond, only nodding wearily before reaching for one of the protein bars John noticed that he carried with him at all times. It was a battlefield habit he’d seen in all of the biotic soldiers he’d ever served with, and he knew that overexertion—for L2s like Alenko in particular, according to Dr. Chakwas—could lead to intense migraines or worse. For Wrex’s part, he looked immensely pleased with himself and none the worse for wear, save for some blast marks on his armor from some enemy fire that had apparently made it through his shields and barrier.

While they rested a moment, John surveyed the area and found the entrance that led down a long shaft deep into the mountainside, likely where they’d find any buried Prothean ruins and therefore also Dr. T’Soni. “I’m going to update the Normandy on our status before we head underground. I don’t know what our communication capabilities will be like down there.”

He walked several paces away from the others and hailed Joker over his comms. “Normandy? Come in.”

A few moments later, Joker’s voice crackled, “I hear you, Commander. What’s your status?”

“We encountered some geth resistance on the surface, but we’re about to follow the trail underground where I believe we may find Dr. T’Soni.”

“—John,” Sera’s voice cut in, “is everyone alright?” He figured she must still be sitting with Joker in the cockpit and keeping an eye on his mission from there while she did her own recon work.

John also suspected that she was concerned about the well-being of one individual on his team in particular, but he decided not to call her on it in the middle of an op. “Everyone’s fine, Sera. Wrex sends you his love.” Okay, maybe he’d tease her a little.

He heard Joker snort a laugh on the other end of the comms. “We’re awaiting further instructions, sir. What do you need?”

“Joker, we had to leave the Mako a little ways back from our current position and proceed on foot. Will you mark its location? If we need a quick extraction or if Dr. T’Soni really is here, I don’t really want to have to trek all the way back there to get it. I may just have you bring the Normandy down to nab the Mako and then pick us up here.” John hoped they would find the doctor here and wouldn’t need to resume a wider search on Therum’s surface.

“Aye aye, sir. I have the Mako’s and your current positions marked. We’re ready to assist when needed.”

“Good. We may lose communication temporarily as we’re headed underground. If we do, I’ll at least send someone back up to check back in with the Normandy in thirty.”

“If we haven’t heard from you in _thirty-one minutes_ …” Sera’s voice said with a mix of warning and concern.

“You’ll come down here and rescue us yourself?” John finished for her. “Got it, Sis. Ground team out.”

  
*****

  
“Protheans sure build things homey,” Wrex commented sarcastically as they stepped off of a freight elevator after descending down into what appeared to be some excavated underground ruins. They had taken out several geth and geth drones on their way down the cavernous underground site, but otherwise, they had mostly found their path unobstructed.

“Uh, hello? Could somebody help me? Please?” a soft, tentative voice called up suddenly from somewhere just below them. John shot Alenko and Wrex a quick look, then hurried to clamber carefully down some collapsed scaffolding until he was standing next to what looked like a force field of some kind. Behind the barrier hovered a woman—an asari, actually—who was held aloft and trapped in some sort of stasis field. “Can you hear me out there? I am trapped! I need help!” she cried.

John approached the barrier and studied her carefully for a moment. He knew next to nothing about Dr. Liara T’Soni, besides the fact that she was Matriarch Benezia’s daughter. This asari both sounded and appeared to be quite young, though given how long asari lived, that wasn’t saying much—she could be his and Sera’s age or she could be 100. He thought this asari was rather attractive, too, as most asari were, but in a way that was somehow softer than most he had seen, perhaps a further indication of her relative youth. His mind momentarily flicked back to his recent encounter with Sha’ira, reminding him that he had agreed to help the Consort solve a problem. Not really the best time to be thinking about the Consort, he scolded himself.

Focusing his attention back on the asari in front of him, John pondered the one other fact he know about Dr. T’Soni—that she was a Prothean scientist. The clothing of this asari was more befitting to that of a scientist rather than a soldier, and she did appear to be unarmed. She may be a biotic as all asari were, but she was certainly no asari commando—of that he was absolutely certain. He decided this must be Dr. T'Soni.

“You're Dr. Liara T’Soni, I presume?” he called up to her.

“Thank the Goddess! I did not think anyone would come looking for me,” she replied. Despite her initial cries for help, John thought that she actually seemed rather calm, given her current predicament. “But how did you know who I am? Who are you?”

“I’m Commander Shepard. I'm with the Systems Alliance and a Council Spectre,” he explained as he crossed his arms. He didn’t see any harm in giving her their names. What could she do with that information while trapped in a stasis field anyway? “This is Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko and Urdnot Wrex.” He gestured to the rest of the team.

“Goddess, a Spectre?” Dr. T’Soni replied. She seemed to be considering whether that was good or bad news for her, but then she asked, “I don’t know how you knew to find me or what it is you want, but can you help me get out of here? This thing I am in is a Prothean security device. I cannot move, so I need you to get me out of it. Alright?”

John paced the length of the barrier, looking for its source and finding nothing. He paused and looked up at the asari. Before they helped free her, he needed to make sure she wasn’t working for Benezia.

“Dr. T’Soni, your mother is working with Saren. Whose side are _you_ on?” he asked bluntly.

She appeared genuinely surprised by the information. “What? M-My mother? Saren? I don’t know what you are talking about—I am not on anybody’s side! I have not spoken to my mother in years. Please. Just get me out of here! I promise I will answer any questions you might have about my mother to the best of my ability.”

“Alright, we’ll find some way to help free you. How’d you end up in there?” John asked. Perhaps knowing how she came to be trapped would help them figure out how to release her from the field.

“I was exploring the ruins when the geth showed up, so I hid in here. Can you believe that? Geth! Beyond the Veil!” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, we’re just as surprised as you,” Alenko muttered from John’s side. 

Dr. T’Soni surveyed the three of them before continuing. “They were also accompanied by a krogan I did not recognize,” she said, letting John know that even though he had brought a krogan of his own, she knew they weren’t with the geth. “I activated the ruin’s defenses because I knew the barrier curtains would keep them out. But when I turned it on, I must have hit something I wasn’t supposed to. I became trapped in here. You must get me out. Please.”

“Any ideas how we get you out of there?” He was growing slightly irritated. She had asked them to get her out several times and given zero clues as to how they were supposed to go about doing so.

“There is a control in here that should deactivate this thing,” she explained. _Finally_. “You’ll have to find some way around the barrier curtain, though.”

John sighed. “Okay. We’ll have a look around. Just wait here.” Realizing what he’d said might have come across as a little insensitive, he quickly looked up at the asari, who did not look particularly amused. “Right, sorry. Just… we’ll be back. Come on,” he added to Alenko and Wrex, turning back towards the excavated area behind them.

They fought their way through a small contingent of geth that had been hiding among some abandoned mining equipment but found little in the way of an alternate route around to the other side of the Prothean ruin.

“Hey, Commander, take a look at this.” When John turned, he found his lieutenant hovering over a control panel that had been hooked up to a large piece of mining machinery. “It’s a mining laser,” Alenko explained. “And look where it’s aimed. The control panel is currently locked down, but if we can figure out how to override the lock, we may be able to activate it and blast our way through to the other side.”

John considered. It seemed slightly dangerous as the cavern and the scaffolding around them didn’t seem particularly stable; hell, half of it was _already_ collapsing. But he didn’t see any other immediate options, and the sooner they got out of here the better. And anyway, they didn’t have much time until he needed to check back in with the Normandy or else Sera would be charging down here after them with a rescue team.

“Can you do it?” he asked Alenko. He knew sentinels had tech training, but he wasn’t sure whether hacking into a private corporation’s mining tech fell under the man’s area of expertise. He could always bring Sera down to do it, but that would take even more time and he was impatient to free Dr. T’Soni and get everyone back above ground.

Alenko glanced at the panel again, studying it for a moment, then nodded. “I think so.”

“Okay. Do it.”

John watched as Alenko keyed in several commands and then proceeded to decrypt the override key, unlocking the control panel’s display screen. He then initiated the device, which whirred to life before the laser activated and began carving its way through the rock in front of it. The whole process took less than two minutes.

“Nice hack, Alenko.” John clapped the man on the shoulder. “You might be able to give my sister a run for her money—uh, don’t tell her I said that, of course,” he joked. When he glanced at the lieutenant, he could have sworn the man was blushing. Apparently, he took compliments about as well as Sera did, which was to say not at all.

John led the way towards the newly blasted hole in the ground. It seemed to have opened an entryway that passed through to an interior vertical chamber within the center of the ruin. They followed the passageway and boarded a lift platform that, once activated, brought them up to the level where Dr. T’Soni was still trapped.

“Dr. T’Soni?” John said as they approached her cautiously. He wanted to make their presence known since she was held in place facing the opposite direction.

“How… How did you get in here? I didn’t think there was any way past the barrier!” she said, craning her head around to try to see them.

“My man here activated the mining laser. Now, focus—we have to get you out of here before more geth arrive,” he said, striding over to one of the consoles that seemed to be the source of the stasis field that was holding the asari in place.

“Yes, you’re right. I’ve seen enough of _them_ to last a lifetime. That button should shut down my containment field.” She tilted her head in the direction of the console.

He pressed the button she indicated and instantly the field surrounding her dissipated. Dr. T’Soni fell to the ground with a soft grunt, then quickly got to her feet. She turned around, brushing herself off, and faced them.

“Do you have any idea how we get out of this place?” Alenko asked her.

She pointed back the way they had come. “The lift that brought you to this floor should be able to take us out of here. Come on!” She led the way, striding quickly past them and towards the waiting platform. “I—I still cannot believe all of this. Why would the geth come after me? And you think my mother is involved?”

“A rogue Spectre named Saren is looking for something called the Conduit with your mother’s help. You’re a Prothean expert. He probably wants you to help him find it,” Alenko explained.

Dr. T’Soni looked puzzled. “The Conduit? But I don’t know—”

Suddenly, the chamber around them began to shudder, and a shower of rock and debris fell down from the ceiling above.

“What the hell was that?” growled Wrex. He had been uncharacteristically silent up to this point.

“These ruins aren’t stable,” Dr. T’Soni replied, a concerned look passing over her face. “That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event. We have to hurry. The whole place is caving in!”

“Nice one, kid,” Wrex grumbled at Alenko. Alenko crossed his arms, but didn’t rise to the krogan’s baiting.

“Get this elevator moving!” John ordered as he went for his omni-tool, hoping they’d be able to contact the Normandy from this far underground. Perhaps being in a chamber that led almost all the way up to the surface would help enable communications. “Joker?”

“We read you, sir,” Joker replied after a short delay.

“We need an immediate extraction, Joker. We’re still in the underground ruins, but we’re making our way back up to where you marked our position before. We’ll meet you on the surface,” he said quickly. The lift rumbled as it began its slow ascent. “Oh and pick up the Mako for me on the way, will you? We need a few minutes to get topside anyway.”

“Aye, aye, Commander. Secure and aweigh. ETA eight minutes.” Joker signed off.

“Not much margin for error,” Alenko observed quietly.

John glanced at the lieutenant. “Eight minutes is plenty of—” He was cut off as the whole elevator shaft shuddered again, and he had to throw out a hand to catch himself on the console to prevent himself from being knocked off his feet. “Let’s, uh, hurry, shall we?”

“Shepard, if I die down here while we’re waiting for your pilot to pick up that goddamn tiny tank, I’ll—” Wrex snarled.

“Understood, Wrex,” John said through gritted teeth.

A minute later, the platform slowed to a halt as it reached the highest level of the underground structure. John turned towards their way out but paused when he saw that several figures were approaching, blocking their route. A large krogan warrior, rivaling Wrex in size, flanked by three geth came into view, and John held up a hand, signaling his team to hang back.

“Surrender,” the krogan demanded as he came to a halt before them. “Or don’t. That would be more fun.”

“There a reason you’re in my way?” John barked menacingly. He had a feeling this krogan wasn’t going to be easily intimidated, but he wasn’t going to make things easy for him.

“The same reason you’re here: the asari,” he growled. John watched as the krogan’s gaze slid to the side and focused on Dr. T’Soni. A vicious grin appeared on his face. “Thanks for getting rid of those energy fields for us. Now hand the doctor over.”

Dr. T’Soni stepped forward so that she was standing beside John, her head held high in a defiant pose. “Whatever it is you want,” she said, her voice steadier than John would have expected it to be, “you’re not getting it from me.” He glanced at her; the doctor was braver than he would have guessed, facing down a krogan battlemaster like that. Maybe the asari wasn’t as timid as she seemed.

“You heard her. She’ll stay with us, thanks,” John said, making his tone as casual as possible.

“Not an option. Saren wants her. And he always gets what he wants.” The krogan chuckled darkly. “Kill them. Spare the asari if you can. If not, it doesn’t matter.”

The firefight that ensued was short but fierce—the imminent threat of the ruins crumbling down around them adding to the intensity and urgency of the battle. Both sides were evenly numbered, and even with Dr. T’Soni helping out solely defensively, John had three talented biotics fighting on his side. In the end, it was really no contest.

“Let’s go!” John yelled the moment they took down the battlemaster, Wrex having delivered the final strike against the enemy krogan. “On the double!”

They took off running, pausing only for a moment when it seemed like another energy barrier was going to prevent them from progressing. But as soon as they approached the barrier, it collapsed, allowing them to continue unimpeded. John led them racing across walkways that led the way back up and out of the ruins through the tunnel they had used to enter.

Just before the final stretch, they reached a place where a section of catwalk had been taken out by a falling piece of debris. John stopped himself just before the gap and turned to the others, gesturing for them to go ahead of him and make the leap. “Jump! Alenko—get to the Normandy!” John shouted, waving them forward.

Alenko took over the lead position and leapt first, easily making the jump and sprinting on ahead to get to the surface and make contact with the Normandy, which was hopefully already waiting for them. John wasn’t sure whether he was more concerned about Wrex or Dr. T’Soni clearing the gap, and he readied himself to intercede however he could if either of them had difficulty—though he wasn’t exactly sure how he could help the several hundred kilo krogan if he failed to stick his landing. To his surprise and relief, Wrex managed to heave his warrior’s bulk across the gap unaided, and Dr. T’Soni showed unexpected agility for an academic, leaping gracefully to the other side.

As soon as Dr. T'Soni had made it, John wasted no time following her across the gap and then up the ramp through the tunnel that would lead them to the surface.

When John at last emerged from the mine’s entrance, he was greeted by bright sunshine and the sight of the Normandy hovering just overhead. Thank god, John thought, coming to a halt and bending over slightly, resting his hands on his knees for a moment as he caught his breath. The ground rumbled menacingly, and he thought he could hear the tunnel they had just raced through collapsing behind them.

They waited as Joker maneuvered the Normandy into position. The shuttle bay door was already lowered into a ramp, and he could see several of the crew waiting to assist them, including his sister. Even from the ground he could see worry etched on her face as she hung onto the handhold on the side of the bay door and readied to help them aboard. When the ramp was close enough, John and his team leapt and Sera, Garrus, and Williams were there, reaching out hands to make sure they were pulled safely aboard. Wrex grunted as he barreled his way into the shuttle bay on his own, but John let Sera pull him in while Garrus assisted Liara and Williams secured Alenko.

Then he heard his sister calling to Joker, “We’ve got them, Joker! Go!” The shuttle bay door had barely begun to close before Joker was urging the Normandy up and away from the unstable surface below.

“Ten more seconds and we would have been swimming in molten lava, Commander,” Joker called to John through his comms, his voice tight. “Cutting it a little close there.”

“Just get us out of here, Joker,” John replied. “You can scold me later.” He turned and looked at the assembled crew, his ground team looking a little weary but overall in good shape. “Let’s take twenty and then meet for a debrief up in the comm room.”

“Aye aye, sir,” Williams and Alenko replied together, and most of the crew walked over towards the locker and armory area to begin getting out of their armor and gear as they all chatted about the mission. Dr. T’Soni lingered back awkwardly, clearly unsure of what she should be doing in the strange new circumstances she now found herself in.

John gestured her over and introduced her to his sister. “Sera, this is Dr. Liara T’Soni. Dr. T’Soni, this Commander Sera Shepard. She is also a Council Spectre.”

Dr. T’Soni looked between them both, clearly confused. “You’re—also Commander Shepard? And also a Spectre?” she asked.

Sera let out a delighted laugh. “It’s a little confusing, I know. We’re twins. He may be the older one, but,” Sera lowered her voice conspiratorially, “I’m the smarter one.” Dr. T'Soni's eyes widened slightly, not quite sure whether Sera was joking or not.

John resisted rolling his eyes at his sister. “Yeah, okay. Dr. T’Soni, please ignore her. I’m going to have one of my crew show you up to where we’ll do our debrief, and then afterwards we’ll get you settled.” When the asari nodded, John called out, “Williams! I need you to show Dr. T’Soni to the comm room. Please wait with her there until the debrief in twenty.”

Williams looked over at him and then at the asari, a slight frown passing over her face. “But Alenko handles the—” she began.

“Alenko’s not even two minutes back from a ground mission. I need you to handle it, Chief. Is there a problem?”

“No, sir,” Williams replied quickly, stiffening and giving him a quick salute. She walked over and gestured to Dr. T’Soni. “Follow me please, ma’am.”

John stayed back with Sera, watching the two head over to the lift, Dr. T’Soni somewhat reluctantly following in the gunnery chief’s wake. She glanced back over her shoulder at John, and he nodded encouragingly at the asari.

“That was… awkward?” Sera observed.

He sighed, rubbing at his neck. “I believe Williams needs to work on her interspecies relations. I don’t necessarily fault her for it, but that just can’t fly if she’s going to stay on with a crew like this.”

“Hmm,” Sera murmured. “How’d things go down there really?” she asked quietly, turning to him.

“Well, we secured the doctor, obviously,” he replied, gesturing with his chin towards where Williams and T’Soni were boarding the elevator. “I don’t think she’s working with her mother and Saren, so that’s good news for us. Oh, and Alenko performed a pretty quick field hack that really got us out of a bind. I thought I was going to have to call in the big leagues, but he handled it,” John joked.

Sera laughed. “Well that’s good. If you’d had to wait for me to get down there, you might not have made it out in time. Apparently you were 'moments from being burned alive in an underground lava flow.'”

“Thanks, Sera. I feel loads better.”

“Joker’s words, not mine,” she quipped, shrugging.

When she didn’t say anything more, John glanced over at Sera and could immediately tell from her expression that she was bursting to say something but had been holding back in the aftermath of the mission. He knew her far too well for him not to be able to decipher that look.

“Walk with me?” he asked, beckoning for her to join him as he moved towards the elevator, which had probably had enough time to deposit Williams and T’Soni up on the CIC by now. He needed to get ready for the debrief, but one of the perks of being captain of your own ship meant having a locker and bathroom in your own private quarters. They could talk up there. “You really look like you want to tell me something.”

“I do,” she said, following him over to the lift. After a pause, she leaned in close to him and said, “Joker and I think we may have already found a lead on my missing team.”


	8. Search and Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay… despite my efforts to keep the word count down, this is the longest chapter yet. I’ve trapped myself a bit with a commitment to an alternating John/Sera POV in this work, but there we are. Some of what’s included here involves setting up things that will pay off in later chapters, so it felt important to set up what I could while Sera is on the Normandy. Also, the timeline on Hannah Shepard's rankings/postings is not entirely clear (just that she serves as XO during ME1), so she has the rank she does here because I just couldn't resist having THREE Commander Shepards on one phone call, ha ha. I'm reasoning that she's a Commander and not a Lt. Commander like her children and so technically is still higher ranked than they are (this was already established part of her service history in the prologue of this work).
> 
> CW: A character experiences a panic attack triggered by an extreme situation (this occurs in the 4th section of this chapter).

Sera accompanied her brother up to the Normandy’s captain’s quarters, but she paused at the threshold instead of automatically following him into the room.

“My intel can wait until you’re done, John,” she said, crossing her arms and leaning her shoulder against the door frame. She watched as John removed his weapons and carefully laid them down on his workbench alongside his helmet. He looked tired and maybe even still a little winded from what had been an obvious sprint to the surface as the underground Prothean ruins had become unstable.

“I can multi-task. Talk to me while I get cleaned up—just come inside and close the door.”

Sera gave a resigned sigh and stepped into the room, letting the door slide closed behind her. She moved towards a small table just inside the door and took a seat that was angled towards the corner of the room to give John some privacy while he removed his armor.

“That really was a close call,” Sera said after a moment. “You had Joker pretty freaked out. You should have heard him going on about volcanoes and lava and how ‘the Normandy’s hull isn’t made to handle this shit.’” She laughed softly, remembering the pilot’s grumbling over her comms as he’d navigated the ship down to Therum’s surface. 

As John worked on unfastening the clasps that held the pieces of his armor in place, Sera could hear the soft clang of metal against metal. Then, each time a piece was removed, there’d be a louder clank as he set it on his workbench. Even though she couldn’t see what he was doing, the sounds were intensely familiar to her—Sera had heard them hundreds of times as she’d gotten in and out of her own armor.

“Yeah, well,” John huffed out his own laugh, “racing like a varren outta hell to avoid being trapped in a collapsing underground ruin and melted by lava isn’t my preferred way to end a mission, either.” There was a pause before he added, “I assume you were the one who grabbed the Mako? Thanks for that, by the way. It would have been a shame to lose it on my first run as the Normandy’s CO.”

Sera waved her hand dismissively, even though John likely wouldn’t see it since his back was probably still to her. “It was the least I could do. It was a bit of a rush job, though, since _someone_ had to go and order a rapid pickup. You should probably look it over and make sure I didn’t scratch it.”

“Har har. I'll put Garrus right on it. Now did you follow me up here just to bust my chops or are you going to tell me what you and Joker found?” While he was talking, Sera heard the sounds of a door sliding open and then closed, and John’s voice became slightly muffled as he entered his bathroom.

Sera leaned forward and crossed her arms, resting her elbows on the table. She spoke a little louder so John could still easily hear her through the closed door. “While you guys were down on Therum, Joker and I started scanning the rest of the system for ship signatures, distress calls—anything that seemed out of the ordinary.” When John didn’t comment, she continued, “We didn’t find anything, but then Joker had the brilliant idea to try tapping into the system’s comm buoy. The buoys facilitate communication from all the nearby systems by collecting data packets and sending them out in bursts. And, anyway, we found something.”

“I’ll bite. What did you find?” John called through the door.

“Okay, first, if anyone asks, I legitimately obtained and definitely didn’t hack into and download a copy of the current data cache from the comm buoy.”

“Uh huh, got it. And?” he replied.

She heard him running water in the sink, so she spoke even louder. “I decrypted the cache and when we scanned it, something popped. It was a low-priority distress signal the buoy picked up out of the Sparta System. We traced the signal to its source—it came from Edolus. I checked and there’s no record of any settlements or activity on the planet. I have no idea why the marines would go there specifically; we didn't go their on our last mission. There’s no way to tell who activated the distress signal, but either it’s my team or it’s someone else calling for help. We have to check it out either way.”

The water shut off, and a moment later, she heard the sound of the door again. John’s footsteps approached her, and Sera turned her head to see that John had put on a clean uniform and washed the dirt and grime from his face. “So we’ll head to Edolus then. Joker’s got the coordinates?” he asked as he came to a stop beside her.

“Yeah. He was just waiting on your approval. We can be there by late tomorrow morning.”

John placed his hand on her left shoulder and squeezed gently, though she couldn’t feel it through her armor. “I’ll talk to him before the debrief and get us underway. Okay?”

Sera let out a breath as she nodded. She was still overcome with worry over the missing marines and what they’d find when they reached Edolus, but it felt good to at least have a lead to chase down. Just a few hours ago, she’d still been wondering how the hell she was even going to get off of the Citadel. They had made unexpectedly good progress. “Thank you.”

“Of course. Come to the debrief? I’d like for you to be there,” he said.

“Sure.” Sera paused then added, “Uh, maybe I could go change out of my own armor first? I’ve been wearing it since this morning and all I’ve gotten to do is pick up the Mako.”

John laughed. “I’m not expecting an assault on our debrief, so I think you’re okay to change. Don’t be late, though”—he glanced over at the time on his terminal—“you’ve got ten minutes.”

“Perfect,” she said as she pulled up her omni-tool to set herself a timer. “Be there in nine.”

  
*****

  
Precisely nine minutes later, Sera was slipping into the comm room just as John was about to begin his Therum mission debrief. The rest of the crew was seated in a circle of chairs, but instead of joining them, Sera chose to remain near the door, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. She was just here as an observer; she wasn’t really part of the Normandy’s crew and it was easier to remind herself of that fact if she made a point of keeping herself somewhat apart.

The debrief hadn’t yet begun, and John dipped his head to acknowledge her when she entered. Several of the others glanced in her direction at his gesture, including the asari scientist, Dr. T’Soni. Kaidan also looked up and smiled at her. She gave him a small smile in return, letting him know she had seen his greeting but hopefully not drawing too much attention to their brief exchange. That Williams seemed to have a sharp eye.

“Okay, now that we’re all here,” John began, causing the quiet conversation in the room to die down, “let’s start with some introductions. Everyone, this is Dr. Liara T’Soni.” He continued by going around the room and giving the name and rank of each individual present.

While John talked, Sera observed the doctor with curiosity. She’d not met many asari before, and there was a certain amount of mystique around them. This one was pretty with lighter blue skin and freckles dotting her cheeks. If Sera had to guess, she’d wager that this asari was rather young, despite apparently already being an accomplished scientist. Her eyes were bright and attentive, and she focused intently on each person as John introduced them.

When John finished, he looked expectantly at Dr. T’Soni, who recognized the invitation for her to speak. “It is lovely to meet you all. As your commander said, I am Dr. Liara T’Soni, but please, call me Liara. I’ve never really been one to stand on formality.” She smiled shyly, then continued, “I am extremely grateful to you. You saved my life back there. And not just from the volcano. Those geth would have killed me or dragged me off to Saren.”

“What did Saren want with you? Do you know something about the Conduit?” Kaidan asked.

“Only that it was somehow connected to the Prothean extinction. That is my real area of expertise. I have spent the past fifty years trying to figure out what happened to them.”

“Fifty years?” John interjected. “How old are you exactly?” Sera noticed that all eyes in the room were suddenly trained on Liara as everyone waited for her reply.

“I hate to admit it,” the asari said a little reluctantly, “but I am only a hundred and six.”

“Damn! I hope I look that good when I’m your age,” Williams remarked. Sera had to agree. While human life expectancy was longer than it once was, 106 was still rather old for a human. For an asari, though? Liara was barely into her maiden years, if Sera recalled correctly. She might live for another nine centuries yet. It was mind boggling to even think about.

Sera focused her attention back to Liara, who had begun explaining about her research into the Protheans.

“My research has not received the attention it deserves,” she was saying. “Because of my youth, other asari scholars tend to dismiss my theories on what happened to the Protheans.”

John crossed his arms and looked down at the floor. “I’ve got my own theory about why the Protheans disappeared,” he said quietly, though still loud enough to be heard by everyone in the room.

Liara turned to him. “With all due respect, Commander, I have heard every theory out there. The problem is finding evidence to support them. The Protheans left very little behind. It is almost as if someone did not want the mystery solved. It’s like someone came along after the Protheans were gone and cleansed the galaxy of clues.”

Sera frowned. She hadn’t studied wider galactic history extensively, so what little she knew about the Protheans related to the Prothean technology humanity had been able to salvage, particularly the Mars discovery which had led to humanity developing mass effect technology. She hadn’t realized how scant the records of Prothean civilization there actually were, though; the small Prothean data cache she’d recovered with Nihlus on one of her recent missions had apparently been exceedingly rare. No wonder he had insisted on helping her recover it.

“But here is the incredible part,” the doctor continued. “According to my findings, the Protheans were not the first galactic civilization to mysteriously vanish. This cycle began long before them.” 

“Where did you come up with this theory? I thought there wasn’t any evidence,” Williams challenged.

“Williams,” John said, his tone warning.

“It’s alright, Commander.” Liara looked at Williams and smiled; it was clear that she was used to explaining herself and defending her research, though she seemed to have missed the underlying xenophobia driving the skepticism in Williams’ words. “I have been working on this for fifty years. I have tracked down every scrap and shred of evidence. Eventually, subtle patterns start to emerge, patterns that hint at the truth. It is difficult to explain to someone else. I cannot point to one specific thing to prove my case. It is more a feeling derived from a half century of dedicated research. But I know I am right, and eventually, I will be able to prove it. There were other civilizations before the Protheans. This cycle has repeated itself many times over.”

“If the Protheans weren’t the first, then who was?” John asked.

“The zeioph,” Sera murmured aloud, thinking about the database entry she and John had been reading just a few hours ago. Every head in the room swiveled to look at her.

“Yes!” Liara exclaimed excitedly. “They are likely not the first, but they _are_ one of the known civilizations that predates them. There is barely any evidence on the Protheans. Even less on those who came before them. I cannot prove my theory. But I know I am right!”

“The galaxy is built on a cycle of extinction. Each time a great civilization rises up, it is suddenly and violently cast down. Only ruins survive. The Protheans rose up from a single world until their empire spanned the entire galaxy. Yet even they climbed to the top on the remains of those who came before. Their greatest achievements—the mass relays and the Citadel—are based on the technology of those who came before them. And then, like all the other forgotten civilizations throughout galactic history, the Protheans disappeared. I have dedicated my life to figuring out why.”

John spoke then, his voice full of surety and confidence. “They were wiped out by a race of sentient machines. The Reapers.”

Silence settled over the room as everyone absorbed his words. This is what John had been talking about at the Council meeting earlier today, Sera realized. Whatever it was he saw in his visions from the beacon must have told him this.

“The—the Reapers? But I have never heard of… How do you know this? What evidence do you have?”

“There was a damaged Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It burned a vision into my brain. I’m still trying to sort out what it all means.” He gave a shrug that might have looked casual to most observers, but Sera knew John better.

 _Gods_. Sera hadn’t yet heard John state so plainly what had happened with the beacon on Eden Prime. Having a vision of an entire civilization being destroyed by these Reapers burned into your brain sounded quite awful.

Liara thought for a moment, then replied, “Visions? Yes… that makes sense. The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the mind of the user. Finding one that still works is extremely rare. No wonder the geth attacked Eden Prime! The chance to acquire a working beacon—even a badly damaged one—is worth almost any risk.”

John uncrossed his arms and began to pace the room. He seemed agitated, even as Liara continued speaking.

“But the beacons were only programmed to interact with Prothean physiology, Commander. Whatever information you received would have been confused, unclear, yes? I am amazed you were able to make sense of it at all. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the process. You must be remarkably strong-willed.” Her tone was one of awe and admiration.

Sera's eyes flicked suddenly to Kaidan, who was leaning in and listening closely to the asari's words and looking a little sickened by what he was hearing. If what Liara was saying was correct, John really had saved Kaidan's life by pushing him out of the way of the beacon.

She didn't have more than a moment to reflect on that when Williams cut in sharply, "This isn’t helping us find Saren. Or the Conduit."

Liara apologized immediately, again seemingly oblivious to the rudeness of Williams’ tone. “Of course. You are right. I am sorry. My scientific curiosity got the better of me. Unfortunately, I do not have any information that could help you find the Conduit. Or Saren.”

John paused his pacing and turned to the asari. “I don’t know why Saren wanted you out of the picture. But I think we’ll be a lot better off if we bring you along.”

Liara got to her feet. “Thank you, Commander. Saren might come after me again. I cannot think of anywhere safer than here on your ship. And my knowledge of the Protheans might be useful later on.”

“And her biotics will come in handy when the fighting starts,” Wrex chimed in.

“Agreed. Good to have you on the team, Liara,” John said, holding out a hand to the asari. She looked at his hand curiously for a moment, then tentatively reached out her own. They shook.

“Thank you, Commander. I am very gratef—whoa. I am afraid I am feeling a bit light-headed.”

Kaidan, ever ready to slip into his role as crew medic, asked, “Liara, when was the last time you ate? Or slept? Dr. Chakwas should take a look at you.”

“It is probably just mental exhaustion, coupled with the shock of discovering the Prothean’s true fate. I need some time to process all of this. Still, it could not hurt to be examined by a medical professional. It will give me the chance to think things over. Are we finished here, Commander?”

“We can talk again after you’ve seen the doctor. The rest of you… dismissed,” John said.

Sera remained leaning against the wall as the crew passed by her on their way out of the room. Kaidan made eye contact with her as he passed by, and she gave him a quick nod. Here they were, currently serving on the same ship, and they’d not yet had a moment to speak a single word to each other. Though maybe that was for the best until they set parameters for working together. Or maybe she'd be off the Normandy before it even came up.

Once the room was cleared out, Sera pushed herself away from the wall. She was about to speak, when Joker’s voice filled the room.

“Commanders,” the pilot called over the comms, “there’s an audio call for you both.”

Sera gave John a puzzled look. Who would want to talk to both of them—or even knew that Sera was on the Normandy?

“Who is it, Joker? Captain Anderson?” John asked wearily. He was rubbing his temple with one hand; he had seemed alright other than a being a little exhausted after the Therum mission, but perhaps he wasn't feeling as well as he'd been letting on.

“Actually…” The pilot trailed off without answering.

“Uh, Joker?” John pressed.

Joker finally answered, though somewhat reluctantly. “There’s a Commander Shepard on the line?”

“Wha—” John began before swinging his head in Jane’s direction. “ _Our mother_ is calling?”

“Is your mother Commander Hannah Shepard of the SSV Kilimanjaro?” Joker asked.

“Uh, yeah, Joker,” Sera replied, rolling her eyes even though the pilot couldn’t see her.

“How the hell did I end up arranging comms between a trio of Commander Shepards?” Joker muttered. “So can I patch her through?”

“Yes.”

“Wait—”

They had spoken at the same time, causing Sera to glare at John. “ _Yes_ , Joker,” she repeated.

Joker paused, clearly waiting for permission from his commanding officer.

John sighed, then relented. “Fine, Joker. Patch her through.” John collapsed in the nearest chair, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands. Either he’d developed a headache that was really getting to him, or the prospect of talking to their mother threatened to bring one on.

“John, I’ll talk to her if you want to go to see Chakwas—” Sera offered, but he just waved her off.

“John? Sera?” came their mother’s voice a moment later.

“Hi, Mom,” Sera replied, figuring she’d take point in handling their mother. “How are you?”

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“We’re good,” Sera answered for both of them.

“I should imagine so. You've apparently had quite a day. You know, I had been hoping I’d hear from you about today. But instead I had to hear about your Spectre promotion from one of my engineers.”

Sera opened her mouth to reply, but John spoke up before she could. “We’ve been busy.”

“Oh, John. You _are_ there.”

Sera’s eyes were trained on John, who remained in the same position as before, leaning forward and cradling his head in his hands. She could see him tense at their mother’s words, his fingers clutching at his temples and his jaw clenching.

“Sorry, Mom. We’ve essentially been on mission ever since it happened,” Sera explained, then frowned. “How did you know to call us on the Normandy? ...I mean, how did you know _I_ would be here?”

Even that made John raise his head as they both listened intently for the answer.

There was a pause before their mother replied. “I spoke with Captain Anderson, of course. We go way back; you know that I served under him on the Tokyo. He wanted to make sure I knew where to contact you both in case I wanted to tell you how proud I am.”

“You haven’t,” John cut in sharply.

“What?” Her mother’s tone was equally sharp. Sera could just imagine her mother narrowing her eyes at John.

“You haven’t told us you’re proud,” he said through gritted teeth. Oh boy.

Their mother paused again before responding, “Well, I’m telling you now. You know, your father would—”

John got abruptly to his feet. “You know what, Commander, this really isn’t a good time for me. Feel free to stay on and talk to Sera, though.” He turned and looked at Sera then, and when she met his gaze, she could see both his frustration and an apology written there. He mouthed the words _I’m sorry_ at her, and then hurried from the room, leaving a gaping silence in his wake.

After a moment, Sera crossed her arms and spoke. “He’s not feeling well, Mom. After effects of the mission.”

Her mother huffed. “You don’t need to make excuses for him, Sera. Rebellious teenager or CO of his own ship—it doesn’t matter. He’s the same headstrong boy he always was.”

“Is there a particular reason you’re calling?” Sera asked a little impatiently. She didn’t really feel like rehashing a decade and a half of complicated family dynamics right at this specific moment.

“Like I said, honey, I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. Two Spectres in the family. I never would have dreamed it.”

Her words reminded Sera of something she’d been wondering about. “Hey Mom, did you already know that John and I were chosen as Spectre candidates?”

There was silence on the line, and that silence told Sera everything she needed to know.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was told in confidence as a courtesy by Hackett. He wanted to warn me that our family might reenter the public eye for a little while.”

Sera blinked. “ _Admiral Hackett_ told you?” She knew that her mother had worked for a couple of years under Hackett on Arcturus, but she hadn’t been aware that they were close enough for him to reach out to her about something like this. Sera herself had only met the admiral a couple of times over the years, though he had been the one to personally recommend her and John for ICT after Elysium.

“Well, if I’d known that you already knew, I might have mentioned something when we talked yesterday,” Sera said.

“I’m glad you didn’t. You were told not to say anything, as was I. We were both following our orders.”

“Right,” Sera said, rubbing at her own temple. She loved her mother, but sometimes she needed her to be more of a mother than a soldier. “Okay, well, Mom, I should probably let you go. I’m sure you’re busy.” Her mother had been the one to call her, but sure, she’d go with that.

“Yes, of course. I still have to meet with Captain Lindholm before the night cycle gets underway. You stay safe out there.”

“We will, Mom. Love you.”

“Goodbye, Sera.”

“Bye, Mom.”

The line went silent, and Sera sat down heavily in the chair she had been standing beside. “Well, shit,” she breathed.

“Shepard?” Joker’s voice projected into the quiet room and Sera jumped.

“Jesus, Joker! ...Were you listening to all of that?”

She could practically hear the man shrug. “Well, yeah. I run the ship’s comms.”

“Note to self: There’s no privacy on this ship,” Sera said flatly.

“Sorry, Shepard. And no rest for the weary either, I’m afraid. There’s another call.”

“For me?” Sera asked. Who else could possibly be calling her… Admiral Kahoku, perhaps? “Now who is it?”

“It’s the Council, ma’am. They called while you were on the line with your mom… The commander is down in the medbay with Dr. Chakwas. Do you want to take it or should I summon him?”

She thought for a moment. John wasn’t feeling well and he was still with the doctor; however, this was technically his ship and his mission, she didn’t want to step on his toes by speaking on his behalf to the Council. On the other hand, she was a Spectre, same as him, and if the Council really didn’t want to talk to her, they didn’t have to. Maybe she could spare John another stressful call tonight.

“Joker, who did they ask for, specifically?”

“You know, I believe they asked to speak with Commander Shepard.”

“Perfect. Patch them through, Joker.”

“Yes, ma’am. Setting up the link now.” She imagined the pilot grinning conspiratorially as he connected the Council to the comm room. If they wanted to speak with a Commander Shepard, then they would get to speak with a Commander Shepard. It wasn’t her fault they weren’t more specific than that.

Sera turned towards the FTL comm and waited for the councilors' holos to appear. When the three figures flickered into existence, she smirked to herself, knowing they couldn’t see her and wondering how they were going to react. She anticipated the moment she would speak and they realized they weren’t meeting with the Commander Shepard they were expecting.

“We received your brief, Commander,” Councilor Tevos began as soon as the three councilors appeared. “I understand Dr. T’Soni is on the Normandy.” When had John had the opportunity to send any sort of report to the Council? He’d barely been back from Therum for half an hour, though he did have a few minutes before the briefing. She supposed rapid communication between Spectres and the Council was to be expected.

The turian councilor spoke next. “I assume you’re taking the necessary security precautions?”

This was it. Now she’d get to find out how easily she could piss off the Council with this little deception. “Good evening, Councilors,” she said. She figured she’d at least try to start out on a polite note. “I can confirm that Dr. T’Soni is safely on board the Normandy. John has spoken with her, and he's convinced she’s on our side. The geth were trying to kill her.”

There was a moment of silence while the councilors seemed to be deciding how to respond to Sera’s presence. They decided to play along and not address it, much to Sera’s delight.

“Benezia would never allow Saren to kill her daughter,” Tevos said eventually.

Councilor Valern chimed in. “Maybe Benezia doesn’t know.” Sera shrugged, even though the councilors couldn’t see her.

“Or maybe we don’t know _her_ ,” Councilor Sparatus growled. “We never expected she could become a traitor.”

“At least the mission was a success,” Valern added.

“Apart from the utter destruction of a major Prothean ruin. Was that really necessary?” Sparatus asked accusingly.

Sera replied, “I was not down on Therum, sir, but it seems to me that it was unavoidable. The geth were crawling all over those ruins. My brother and his ground team were lucky to have made it out alive.”

“Speaking of… Where is Commander Shepard?” Sparatus asked. “We had thought we would be speaking with him.”

Sera crossed her arms and glowered at the holos. It took them a little bit, but they got around to it eventually. “He is currently in the medbay. I didn’t think you’d want to be kept waiting for the ship’s physician to finish attending to him.”

“Of course, Commander,” Valern replied matter-of-factly. “It is important for Spectres to attend to their health and well-being on missions. However, we trust that you haven’t forgotten that you have a mission of your own? Your admiral was very insistent that locating the missing Alliance crew is a very high priority.”

 _Well maybe someone should have fucking given me my own ship and crew then_ , Sera wanted to spit at them. She held her tongue, however.

“I have not forgotten, Councilor. We picked up a signal from a distress beacon originating from the Sparta System and are en route now. We will be arriving there tomorrow.”

“Very good,” Valern replied.

“Have Commander Shepard contact us at his _earliest convenience_ ,” Sparatus said, his voice finally dripping with the ire he apparently felt at being slighted by having to talk to her instead of John.

“Of course, sir.”

“Good luck, Commander,” said Tevos, before ending the call.

Sera barely had a moment to reflect on how her first debriefing with the Council had gone when Joker was chiming in. “You handled them pretty well, Shepard. I think the commander probably would have ended up hanging up on them. I mean, he walked out of the first call and that was with your _mother_.”

Sera sighed. “Yeah, well, there’s a lot more history there than with the Council.” She continued quickly before Joker could comment on that. “Will you please let John know that I spoke with the Council on his behalf? And that Sparatus requested he contact them? It’s been a long day and I really just think I’d like to find my bunk right now.”

“Sure thing,” Joker said. “I’ll tell the commander. Good night, ma’am.”

“‘Night, Joker,” she replied.

When Sera climbed into her bunk a short while later, she was an anxious and exhausted mess. Today had been a wild day. It was hard to believe that it was just this morning that she’d woken up to her nightmare of Akuze. That it was only this morning Kaidan was standing at her door with pastries and coffee. _Kaidan_.

Sera rolled onto her side, reaching up and brushing a stray lock of hair out of her face. Truthfully, she had been sort of avoiding him since coming aboard the Normandy. Talking and flirting while on the Citadel seemed like one thing; the lines had been a bit blurry the past two days. But this was a warship, an _Alliance_ vessel. And even if Sera was a Spectre now, Kaidan was still an Alliance marine. The Normandy was his posting for the foreseeable future, and she didn’t want to compromise that for him in any way by being caught acting inappropriately.

Relationships in the military were always a challenge, which was largely why most soldiers didn’t pursue them, beyond shore leave flings, anyway. Her parents had been a rare exception, however, and because of them, Sera clung to a desperate hope that whatever might be growing between her and Kaidan might have some chance in hell of surviving. But it was hard to see something other than a relationship doomed from the start now that the reality of their military service was starting to interfere and it had only been a couple of days. Everything was just moving so quickly.

But Sera had meant it this morning when she’d agreed to go on a date with Kaidan; she wanted to figure out if they could make this work. And now she felt a bit guilty that she’d been keeping her distance from him. Since they hadn’t spoken about how to handle this new situation of both of them being aboard the Normandy, he probably thought she was sending him all kinds of mixed signals. This morning she’d agreed to go on a date with him; this evening she hadn’t even checked in on him to see how he was doing after Therum. Guilt flashed through her, and she made a sudden decision.

Sera glanced at the time on her ‘tool, then decided that if it was too late to be messaging him, he just wouldn’t respond. She dimmed the display and pulled up the blankets around her shoulders, shielding as much of her omni-tool’s light as possible in the utter darkness in the room. It wasn’t unusual for soldiers to be up late into the night cycle reading on their omni-tools or datapads, but she didn’t want to inconvenience anyone if she could help it.

 **  
SShepard:** _hey_

  
Her omni-tool was muted, so she kept the display open while she waited a few minutes to see if he would reply. She yawned and her eyelids began to droop a little as sleep threatened. The sleep she’d gotten last night hadn’t been exactly restful, and lying for a few minutes in bed had exhaustion crashing in.

A sudden flicker on her display told her that Kaidan had responded, so she angled her ‘tool closer so she could read his reply.

 **  
KAlenko:** _hey_

  
A few seconds later, another message popped up.

 **  
KAlenko:** _You know, when you said you’d see me soon, I didn’t realize you meant literally on the Normandy in two hours_

  
She chuckled silently to herself before writing back.

 **  
SShepard:** _I didn’t realize it either when I sent that, I promise!_

 **SShepard:** _Are you doing okay after today’s mission?_

 **  
KAlenko:** _Yeah. A bit of a headache, but nothing I can’t manage._

 **  
SShepard:** _Well, I don’t want to keep you up, but I just wanted to say hi_

 **  
KAlenko:** _hi_

  
Sera smiled as she typed in a final message.

 **  
SShepard:** _Good night, Kaidan_

 **  
KAlenko:** _Good night, Sera_

  
*****

  
When the morning cycle arrived, Sera’s military training had her waking up before her alarm. She sat up on her bunk and quietly stretched, determined not to wake any of the still sleeping crew around her. After checking the time—it was still a few hours before Joker had expected them to arrive in the Sparta System—she slipped out of bed and got a few things from her locker before heading to the crew bathrooms to get ready for the day.

A few minutes later, she was pouring herself some coffee and grabbing a breakfast ration in the Normandy’s mess. When she approached the table, she found Garrus, Wrex, and Kaidan already there.

“Good morning, gentlemen,” she said pleasantly, taking a seat next to Kaidan.

Garrus’s mandibles twitched in amusement as he turned to look at the krogan. “I don’t think anyone’s ever called Wrex a gentleman before,” he remarked wryly.

“Gentle _krogan_ , then?” Sera quipped as she tore open her ration bar.

“I like you, tiny human, but be careful,” Wrex warned as he leaned towards her imposingly, but his smirk told her he wasn’t being serious. After what Wrex had said to her yesterday on the Citadel, she was feeling more comfortable with the old rough-around-the-edges krogan rather than annoyed by him.

“My apologies, sir gentlekrogan,” Sera teased. Wrex narrowed his red eyes, then let out a bellowing laugh.

“Alright, I’m heading back down to the shuttle bay. It’s more my size and the humans down there still have a healthy amount of fear of me,” Wrex said once he’d finished laughing, maneuvering himself out of the seat at the table he’d crammed himself into. “If Shepard wants me for a mission today, tell him that if he expects me to climb into that damn transport of his two days in a row, he’s going to have to double my pay.”

Sera frowned and watched Wrex amble a little stiffly towards the elevator. “What was that about?” she asked the others.

“He, uh, doesn’t fit in the Mako very well,” Kaidan said, hiding a laugh by taking a drink from his cup. Of course, the Mako was designed for humans and the krogan was far bigger than even the bulkiest marines. Sera was actually kind of impressed he’d managed to squeeze himself in there at all.

“So you’re okay with him calling you ‘tiny human’ then?” Garrus asked, leaning back in his chair. “It—rightly—seemed to piss you off the other day.”

Sera swallowed the bite of food she’d been chewing before answering. “We talked; I’m fine. And anyway, Wrex is right. I _am_ pretty tiny—‘specially compared to him.” She paused, then shrugged and added, “I’ve definitely been called worse.”

Garrus raised one of his brow plates questioningly but didn’t press the issue. Sera was relieved; she didn’t particularly feel like elaborating further.

“Well, I told Joker I’d bring him some coffee and sit with him for a bit,” Kaidan said, standing from his seat beside her. He looked down at her and asked, “Maybe we could talk later?”

Knowing full well Garrus was watching the two of them closely, she kept her face expressionless. “Yeah, sure. I might have some time later, Alenko.” He furrowed his brow, looking a little hurt, then nodded before walking away. Sera felt a twinge of guilt, but she reminded herself that keeping things professional in front of the Normandy crew was for Kaidan’s own benefit. She had slipped up using his first name in front of people the other day, but now that they were aboard a working Alliance vessel, she needed to be more careful about that. Flirting during their off hours or when it was just the two of them was one thing, but she would never forgive herself if she jeopardized his posting or career in some way.

Garrus didn’t seem to be in any particular hurry to go anywhere and since Sera had some time to kill before they reached Sparta, she struck up a friendly conversation with him. They had quite a bit in common, in fact. Like her, Garrus was a trained sniper, and they agreed to test their skills against one another at a shooting range on the Citadel sometime. He had served in the turian military for several years, as all turians did, and he admitted that he had once been selected to join some sort of elite turian Spectre candidate training program, though he hadn’t followed through with it.

Sera asked him about his time working with C-Sec, and she learned that his father was a detective, too, though they didn’t seem to have a good relationship and he was reluctant to talk much about it. Garrus seemed glad for the opportunity to be doing something that permitted a little more initiative than the largely regulated and bureaucratic Citadel Security force had allowed for.

It turned out they had a couple acquaintances in common, too, including a turian detective named Chellick whom Sera had once briefly helped out on a weapon smuggling case and a human officer named Bailey whom Sera had befriended soon after arriving on the Citadel. Garrus also knew Harkin, of course, whom Sera had the great displeasure of meeting the other day, and Garrus happily filled her in on the sordid details of the man’s downfall and disgrace within the department.

Garrus then told her about some of the cases he’d worked, including the one he’d never gotten to close and probably never would. Shepard listened closely as he explained about an investigation into a salarian geneticist who it turned out was cloning organs _inside_ his living victims and then removing and selling the spare organs on the black market. It was a grim case, and when Garrus had gone to arrest Dr. Saleon, he managed to escape, taking some hostages with him.

“You know, I could do a little digging around for you. See if I can turn anything up with my Spectre access,” Sera offered. She wasn’t sure how he would react, but he accepted, grateful for any chance at finding a lead on his escaped quarry.

Garrus looked up then, and when Sera turned to see what he was looking at, she found that after a moment, John walked around the corner from his quarters and into the mess. She glanced back at Garrus, one eyebrow raised questioningly.

He lifted a shoulder and cocked his head to the side in a turian shrug. “I have good hearing,” was all he said by way of explanation, a slight tone of amusement in his flanged voice. Garrus stood then, dipping his head towards Sera. “It was nice talking with you, Shepard. If you see Chellick or Bailey before I do, tell them I say hi.”

“I will. Good talking to you, too, Garrus. I’ll let you know if I find anything about Dr. Saleon,” she said as the turian picked up his mug of whatever dextro-caffeinated beverage he was drinking and then disappeared out of sight as he headed towards the elevator.

A moment later, John was sitting down in the spot Garrus had vacated. He didn’t have any food, only a large cup of coffee that he sipped from as he looked at her with bleary eyes.

“Didn’t sleep well?” she asked. He looked like shit, truth be told.

John shook his head.

“How come?” she pressed. Someone here had to make sure he was taking care of himself. She figured it might as well be her.

“I don’t know,” he said a little testily, causing Sera to raise her eyebrows at him. “Sorry,” he apologized quickly. “Headache? Stress? Family drama? Mind racing with a million thoughts? Take your pick.”

“Yeah, I get that,” she replied sympathetically.

“What about you? How are the crew bunks?” he asked as he sipped at his coffee.

She shrugged. “They’re fine; I slept fine.” It was true. They were standard military bunks and she had slept fine in hers. Most importantly, though, she hadn’t dreamt of Akuze.

He set down his mug and nodded his head towards the direction Garrus had just left. “What was that about? Who’s Dr. ...Salon?”

Sera leaned back in her chair. “Saleon. Garrus told me about this old case of his from C-Sec that was never resolved. It sounded pretty terrible, John. I offered to use my Spectre access to do some digging around for him when I get back to the Citadel.”

“Huh,” John said, frowning a little. “Why did he come to you? Why didn’t he ask me to use my Spectre access?”

Sera shrugged. “He didn’t ask me; I just offered. We were talking about his C-Sec work because we know a couple of the same people is all. Don’t worry,” she leaned forward and put her hand on John’s arm, “I’m not stealing away any members of your crew. Not today, at least.”

John smirked. “Garrus isn’t the crew member I’d be worried about anyway.”

Sera pulled back as she felt herself blush. “That’s—that’s just—” she spluttered.

“Just what?” he asked, his blue eyes bright with mirth as he took another sip of his coffee.

“Ridiculous,” Sera finished lamely. “Is this why you sat down? To tease me?” Sera narrowed her eyes at her brother. “Is this payback for harassing you yesterday about the lava yesterday? Because I told you that was Joker, not me.”

“Oh, no. I wanted to know what you were thinking for a ground crew today.”

Sera frowned. “I wasn’t thinking of one at all.”

“Out of the question,” John replied, crossing his arms.

“Why’s that? You know I run solo ops on my own all the time, right? Recon and infiltration is kind of my thing.”

“Okay, but there is absolutely no reason you need to do that here. I’m going with you, that’s a given, but who else—”

“Hang on,” Sera interrupted, “why is that a given?”

“Wait, you don’t want my help?” It surprised her when John looked a little hurt by her hesitation about bringing him on her ground team. It seemed all her attempts to protect the people she cared about were coming off wrong this morning.

“I’m not saying that. But you didn’t want my help on your mission yesterday. I thought maybe… you didn’t think I could hold my own on your team,” she finished a little lamely. She had been a little hurt herself that he hadn’t asked her for her help. Did he think she couldn’t handle herself in a firefight?

“What? That wasn’t it at all. I thought I was doing you a favor by letting you do your recon thing with Joker.” He paused, then conceded, “I should have given you the option instead of just assuming. It wasn’t anything more than that. Promise.”

Sera let out a breath, feeling a little lighter. “Okay. Sometimes I think you forget that I’m an N7, too, John. I may not have the exact same skills as you, but I’m not completely useless.” She grinned at him. “Or do I need to remind you which one of us is the better shot?”

He laughed. “No, you don’t need to remind me. I know you’re not useless, Sera. We were together on Elysium, remember? Even though that was years ago, I know firsthand what you’re capable of. So… am I on your ground team?”

“ _Fine_ ,” she agreed with only a slight roll of her eyes. “If we’re taking a small squad… then maybe Williams? This really is as much an Alliance mission as Spectre and we’re going after a team of marines, so maybe it’d be good to take an all-Alliance team.”

“Why not Alenko then?” Sera narrowed her eyes at John, but his expression gave nothing away.

“Well… I figured that he was just on your ground team yesterday. Maybe he’d want to rest today.” Sure, she’d go with that reason. Not that she was worried about what complications might arise going on a real, potentially dangerous out-in-the-field mission with him before they'd had a chance to talk. This wasn't the same as tracking down Garrus on the Citadel.

“Well, I can guess what Alenko would want,” John said, “and it isn’t to stay on board the Normandy to ‘rest’—not when it comes to you.”

“John…” she warned. Her tone wasn’t harsh, though, more like a plea to not go down that road just now.

“Fine, fine.” He raised his hands placatingly. “He’s a medic, though. And what if the marines need help? Plus, if we take Williams, we won’t have any biotics along and it seems foolish not to bring one since we have several on board. Feel free to ask him whether he’d rather rest today... but I think he should go and I think he’ll agree with me.”

  
*****

  
John had been right about Kaidan, of course, so a few hours later, Sera found herself strapped into the Mako alongside John and Kaidan as they made their way across the surface of Edolus. Joker had dropped them a little ways away from the source of the distress signal, and Sera was already on edge after they’d passed a smoking, abandoned Grizzly a few minutes ago. It didn’t bode well for finding the marine team alive and well.

John parked the Mako just as they reached the crest of a ridge that overlooked a wide, flat plain. They’d been driving in silence ever since passing the Grizzly, but now John spoke.

“The signal is coming from just ahead,” he said, pointing to the display in front of him. Sera’s breath caught as she looked at the screen and could see something in the center of the plain; it looked to be another vehicle like a Grizzly or a Mako.

“Let’s get out and take a look before we rush down there,” Sera said, already reaching for the door latch. Her heart was starting to pound rapidly in her chest at the prospect of possibly having found her missing team, but she wanted to assess the situation before proceeding. If something had happened to them, there was no way of knowing whether the danger had passed yet without checking first.

Without waiting for a reply from the two men, Sera got out of the Mako and then grunted a little as she pulled herself up and climbed on top of it. She could hear John and Kaidan getting out of the Mako as she laid herself prone along the vehicle’s flat front section. She squinted a little against the planet’s bright sun that shone brilliantly just above the horizon to her left, and she adjusted the solar visor on her helmet. Carefully, she reached for her Mantis and positioned herself so that she could look through its scope and study the open plain ahead.

Near the center of the plain, she could see clearly now the remains of another M29 Grizzly. This one wasn’t smoking like the first abandoned one they’d passed, but it was clearly damaged. As she angled her scope down slightly, she could see several shapes on the ground, and her heart ached as she realized they were indeed human figures.

“Oh my god,” Sera said sadly, “I can see bodies on the ground. They—I don’t think—” She broke off suddenly as her throat tightened around the words. They had gotten here too late to save the team.

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she tried not to think about Corporal Jeffries and his penchant for crude jokes or Private Lansing and her crooked smile whenever she laughed at them. It hadn't even been two weeks since Private Schultz had been showing her that picture of his girl that he always kept tucked in the outer pocket of his uniform. Sera had caught him pulling it out and looking at it just before a mission, and when she’d asked him about it, he’d smiled shyly before telling her all about Amanda. _Fuck_.

“Sera?” John said tentatively, calling up to her from the ground below and lifting her out of her memories. Sera lifted her head and looked down at him, glad that her face would be obscured by her helmet and visor. “What’s the situation?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. That’s a Grizzly alright, and it looks damaged, though I can’t tell by what. There are bodies—half a dozen that I can see. That’s how big the squad was, but there’s no way to know for sure if it’s the marines without going over there.” She hoped they hadn’t been able to hear the anguish she was currently feeling. “I don’t see any enemy combatants or any obvious threats, but…”

“But _something_ did this to them,” Kaidan finished for her when she trailed off.

“Yes,” Sera agreed. “I can see the distress beacon, as well. So they called for help, but… none ever arrived.” Dammit. If only they could have gotten here more quickly. It was no one’s fault, but shit, it still hurt.

“Until us,” Kaidan said solemnly.

“And too late,” she added.

“Let’s get down there, then,” John said. Sera nodded, but she didn’t make to climb down off of the Mako right away. Instead, she just raised her head from her scope and surveyed the area with her own eyes. Something didn’t make sense about all of this. What the hell had happened here? It felt like they were missing some vital piece of information, and a subtle warning flared in the back of her mind.

“Come on, Sera. Let’s go,” John said a little more forcefully. She furrowed her brow at his impatience, but when one last scan of the plain didn’t reveal anything that could explain her sense of unease, she finally clambered down the side of the Mako until her feet were on solid ground again.

Kaidan stopped her just as she was about to climb into the passenger side, placing his hand on her shoulder. It was her right shoulder and she reflexively flinched at the contact, even though she couldn’t really feel anything through her armor. Kaidan jerked his hand away.

“I’m so sorry,” he said quickly, taking a step back from her.

“No, I’m sorry. You just startled me is all. I’m fine.” She sighed and placed her hands on her hips, looking down at the ground. She kicked at a rock with her boot. “I just… I had just been holding out hope that we would get here in time, you know?”

“Of course, I get it. Let’s go see if we can find out what happened to them. Get some closure for their families, at least.” Sera raised her head and looked at him. She couldn’t see his face, but she could imagine compassion in his gaze behind his visor and it comforted her.

“Yeah,” she replied.

They loaded back into the Mako, where John was already waiting for them. Sera propped her gun between her knees, resting the butt of the rifle on the ground and being careful not to jostle her scope.

John started up the Mako, checking over some of the dials and displays again before shifting the vehicle into gear.

“Let’s go in slow, John. There’s not a clear route down, and we still don’t know what happened down there,” Sera warned.

To Sera’s dismay, John scoffed. “It’ll be fine. The Mako’s scans are clear. Plus, you said it yourself—there’s nothing down there except a broken Grizzly and some dead marines.” Sera tried not to wince at her brother’s harsh words. What the hell was his problem? And anyway, this was her mission—he should be deferring to her, not dismissing her concerns.

However, she decided not to press the issue for now, instead just pursing her lips and tightening her grip on her rifle as John began to drive the Mako down the uneven slope towards the flat plain below. Actually, _drive_ was a generous word. They were jostled roughly from side to side as John guided the Mako carelessly over the rocky embankment, not bothering to look for an actual route down.

“What the fuck, John?” Sera grumbled after one particularly significant lurch that would have had all three of them tumbling out of their seats if the Mako hadn't had seat harnesses. She could see why Wrex had had such a terrible time if John had driven anything like this yesterday. She’d nearly lost hold of her rifle despite her tight grip on it.

They finally reached the bottom of the slope, and the Mako leveled out on the flat ground. John looked over at Sera and said gruffly, “You know the Mako has shit suspension.”

“Right. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that we just drove straight down a mountain. Maybe if we had taken our time and found a smoother route down like I’d suggested, we—”

“Jesus, Sera. It’s fine,” John said, turning back to the controls in front of him. He began accelerating the Mako forward at a rather quick clip.

Sera held her tongue, opting to ignore her brother and swipe through several readouts on the display ahead of her. The last thing she and John needed to be doing was bickering like children on a mission. Kaidan remained silent from the backseat, but she felt slightly embarrassed that he was witnessing their little quarrel. What was John’s problem this morning, anyway?

John sped the Mako directly towards the blip marking their destination on the map and Sera felt her anxiety ratcheting up with each passing moment. Something just didn’t feel right. What could have happened to the marines in the middle of an open plain? Why had they gotten out of their vehicle and deployed a distress beacon? And what could have killed them?

“John, wait. Slow down, something’s not—”

“Sera—” he said sharply, cutting her off, but before he could say more, one of the Mako’s sensors began to flash and emit a high-pitched beeping sound.

“What the hell?” John said, slamming on the brakes and skidding the Mako to a halt. Before any of them could react, movement on the Mako’s camera display drew all of their attention. What appeared on the screen doused Sera in a cold wave of terror, causing her breath to seize up in her chest.

Bursting from the ground just beyond the damaged Grizzly amidst an eruption of dirt and rocks was a monster literally out of Sera’s nightmares: a massive thresher maw. And John had driven them right into the middle of the open plain where it had apparently made its nest.

They watched in horror as the thresher maw surged upward and reached its full height, extending more than 30 meters above the ground before letting out an ear-piercing shriek that drilled into them even through the Mako’s hull.

“Holy shit…” she thought she heard from the back seat. John or Kaidan, she couldn’t tell which, was shouting then, but Sera couldn’t comprehend what they were saying as the Mako lurched forward.

Sera could barely think, barely move, barely _breathe_ as crippling terror threatened to overtake her. It was as if a clawed fist had taken a firm grip of her heart and was squeezing tighter and tighter, crushing, piercing. Her brain was short-circuiting, and the same thoughts kept circling over and over in her head. _No. It can’t be. Not again. Not again._

She clutched at her chest and suddenly bent forward, one hand bracing herself on the dash in front of her. Her harness was all that was keeping her in her seat as the momentum of the swerving Mako jostled her roughly back and forth. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to catch her breath, gulping down air like a person drowning.

“Sera!” Her eyes flew open as she registered someone yelling her name over their comms. She thought it had been John. He had asked her to do something, but she hadn’t registered what he’d said. “We need to kill it!” he shouted again.

What? ... _Kill it_? Kill a thresher maw? Sera would have laughed out loud at the idea if she was remotely capable of processing it.

Sera forced herself upright in her seat as she struggled to try and compartmentalize her terror, and she was at least able to conjure a passing thought to be grateful for the Mako’s harnesses as John continued veering from side to side, attempting to steer them out of the thresher maw’s nesting area. But each time they approached somewhere near the edges of the flat plain, the maw would burst through the ground ahead of them, causing them to have to swerve back.

“It’s fucking herding us,” John growled beside her after a few failed attempts to escape the plain. “We have to try to kill it before it kills us.”

“What? How?” Kaidan asked from behind her. Finally, a good fucking question, Sera had the presence of mind to think.

“Sera, you need to man the Mako’s artillery,” John said, his voice sharp and deadly calm. He spared a moment to look at her. “You can do this.”

Sera was frozen, eyes fixed on the weapons console in front of her. _Could she do this?_ This wasn’t the same as the last time she’d faced a thresher maw, she tried to convince herself. She knew what she was up against. She was inside a Mako, not on foot. And she wasn’t alone this time.

She wasn’t alone.

 _She wasn’t alone_. If she did nothing, not only would she die, but John and Kaidan would die, too. She couldn’t let that happen, not when she could do something about it.

Sera pushed down her fear, forced it back, locked it up behind a wall. The wall was temporary, fragile, and it would likely crumble the moment she stopped consciously holding it up. But right now, in this moment, _for them_ , she could do it.

Sera nodded, then reached forward and activated the console that guided the Mako’s gun and cannon. She wrapped her hands around the controls that would allow her to swivel, aim, and fire the coaxial-mounted guns. The actions were automatic, reflexive. She knew how to do this without even thinking.

“Keep as steady as you can,” she said through clenched teeth as she focused in on the gun’s targeting system.

“I mean, I’ll fucking do my best,” John replied, and when she glanced at him, he was sporting a cocky grin.

So they did it. John proceeded to drive in a slightly erratic but circuitous route that would keep the maw above ground and give Sera time to take aim and fire, alternating shots from the Mako’s mass accelerator cannon with bursts from its machine gun. If they got too far from the maw, it would dive into the ground and reappear closer to them, continuing to herd them back towards the center of the nesting plain.

Sera felt almost outside of her own body, as if she had slipped into an instinctual state and was watching herself work. It was like she had separated her conscious, terrified self and locked it safely away from the part of herself that had the ingrained training and innate skill to do what needed to be done. She knew when the two halves of herself crashed back together, it wasn't going to be pretty.

For one heart-stopping moment, John misjudged where he thought the thresher maw was going to burst from the ground and the Mako was nearly upended when the maw clipped the tank as it emerged almost directly beneath them. Sera’s heart leapt into her throat as she hung on for dear life, and her teeth rattled as they crashed down, the Mako’s right side hitting first before the left side followed.

“Oh, shit!” John yelled once all six of the Mako’s wheels were on the ground and they shot forward after gaining traction again.

Sera ignored him, the act of firing the Mako’s mass accelerator cannon alternately with its machine gun consuming all of the conscious thought and focus she could spare.

The battle was long and hard fought, but after a Sera landed a well-aimed cannon shot at the thresher maw’s open maw, it gave a final shriek and crashed to the ground with a seismic shudder that rumbled through the Mako. John drove the Mako towards the beacon at the center of the plain as they stared at the displays, watching as the thresher maw thrashed in its final death throes and then finally remained motionless, lying across the sand while its bottom third remained buried beneath the dirt.

Sera pulled her hands back from the artillery controls barely able to process what she was seeing. They’d done it. They’d killed a thresher maw. And then, that temporary wall she had been holding up through sheer force of will began to crumble.

The moment the Mako screeched to a halt, Sera was scrabbling blindly at the release on her seat harness and fumbling for the latch on her door. She heaved her weight against it and practically fell out of the Mako, managing only a couple of steps before stumbling to her knees.

In the back of her mind, she thought she could hear someone shout something, but she was numb to everything except the icy terror that was gripping her heart. Now that the immediate danger had passed, it was as if the reality of what had just happened and all of the overwhelming fear she had been holding at bay came crashing down, and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

Sera found herself on her hands and knees, head down, gasping for air. Her chest felt tight and tremors wracked her body. She couldn’t breathe.

She felt the pressure of someone’s hand pressing against her small of her back, and the person’s other hand tugged at her shoulder. Sera resisted, her head still down and palms firmly planted on the ground, fingers curling into the dirt. There was another shout, the sound abrasive and incoherent to her ear. As the seconds passed and she still couldn’t catch her breath, the edges of her vision started to darken.

Then a blurred figure got onto their knees in front of her. The figure voiced a sharp word and the pressure from her back disappeared and the pull on her shoulder ceased. Her mind registered everything but comprehended none of it. 

“Sera.”

Finally, a word broke through the encroaching darkness, spoken by a husky, sweet voice she recognized. Her name. He was saying her name.

Sera squeezed her eyes shut and tried to latch onto that word that had somehow managed to get through to her amidst her roiling panic.

“Sera, I need you to breathe for me or you’re going to make yourself pass out. Breathe.”

She knew the voice was right, but maybe that’s what she needed. To pass out so that her panic could finally release its hold on her.

“Take a deep breath. I’ve got you.”

Gentle hands were there then, grasping the sides of her helmet and tilting her head up slightly. She opened her eyes and saw that Kaidan was there, the front of his helmet pressed to hers. She couldn’t see his face behind their solar visors, but she imagined that she was staring into those calm honey-brown eyes, and it gave her something to focus on. _Kaidan was here. And he had her._

“Kaidan?” she whispered between gasps.

“Breathe with me, Sera. I have you. Breathe in.”

Sera brought up one one hand and wrapped her fingers around his arm. He was an anchor, and she clung to him as she tried to regain control of herself. She tried to focus on the sound of his breathing over her comm.

Sera took in a long shaky breath.

“That’s it. Now let it out slowly. Through your mouth and count to five.” 

A clear, simple command. Her mind had cleared enough that she could follow easy instructions. So she did, exhaling and picturing each number in her mind until she reached five.

“Good, Sera. In and out again, nice and slow for me.”

He held her like that for several minutes, calmly talking her through her panic and helping her to reclaim control over her breathing. As her breathing normalized and the darkness at the edges of her vision receded, Sera felt a wave of exhaustion flood through her. She felt as if both her body and mind had been put through the wringer; her soul ached right alongside her muscles.

“Is she going to be alright?” a concerned voice asked from behind her. John.

Kaidan pulled away from her, and she let him go, even though everything in her wanted to pull him back to her. “She had a panic attack. Has she ever had one before?”

Sera resisted the inclination to point out that she was right there and they didn’t need to talk about her as if she wasn’t, but her mind was too wrung out to put up any sort of fight.

“I… don’t know,” John replied.

Yes, she wanted to say. Since Akuze? _Yes_. And nightmares. But she remained silent, focusing on keeping her breathing under control. In and out. Nice and slow.

Sera let herself shift backwards, settling onto her haunches and resting her hands on her knees now instead of the rocky ground.

She could hear John’s footsteps recede as he walked away and around the Mako. Kaidan remained kneeling before her, watching her carefully with his trained medic’s eye.

“Sera, I’m going to do a quick medical scan, okay? I want to check your vitals readout, make sure your heart rate and your blood pressure are coming down.”

She nodded weakly, still focused on her breathing. He held up his omni-tool and scanned her, then skimmed through some data on the display.

“Are you feeling okay to try standing up?” he asked, closing his ‘tool. His tone wasn’t condescending; it was kind and full of concern. It helped. From anyone else it might have made her feel weak and helpless, but from him it honestly helped. She nodded again, and he got to his feet before reaching out a hand for her.

She once again found herself in the position of being helped to her feet by Kaidan, though this time Sera was more shaken up than she had been outside of Chora’s Den. He remained close to her as she swayed a little, keeping a hand on her arm and preparing to catch her if she fell.

John came back around the front of the Mako and Sera turned her head to look at him as he approached. “I ran a sweep with the Mako’s scanners, and I don’t think there are any more thresher maws around. Still, I don’t know that we want to linger here.”

His expression was unreadable. Did he think less of her for what had just happened?

“Sera?” At the sound of Kaidan’s voice, she turned back to face him. It was like her thoughts were moving through molasses; her brain felt sluggish.

“I’m okay.” She couldn’t see his face, but the tilt of his head told her enough about what he thought of her reply. “Fine, I’m okay enough to do this.”

He released her arm, stepped back from her, and gave her a sharp nod, slipping back into a more professional mode.

She placed her hands on her hips and looked down at the ground while she gathered her thoughts. Alright, she could deal with the after effects of the thresher maw later, collapse into a dark corner somewhere on the Normandy and figure her shit out. For now, she had to deal with her actual mission, the whole reason they were here in the first place. She built a little bit of that wall back up so she could make it through this.

“Kaidan, will you help me check the bodies?” Shit, she’d forgotten that she’d decided to only use his last name if others were around. But after what had just happened, she supposed it didn’t matter at this point. Not in front of John, anyway. “We need names and tags so we can confirm that it’s the missing marine team. John, can you examine the beacon? I want to know exactly when it was activated.”

John crossed his arms. “You know that I’m the person here least qualified to examine that beacon, right?”

She rolled her eyes, then winced at the slight dizziness the action caused. Damn. She brought her armored hand up to her helmet, wishing she could put her actual fingers to her actual temple to try and relieve the headache that was forming.

“Okay, please help Kaidan then. _I’ll_ look at the beacon.” When she glanced at Kaidan, she still couldn’t see his face, but he still seemed to be watching her carefully. Probably just being a vigilant medic keeping an eye on his patient.

Sera walked past them and over to the beacon before circling it, studying it. It did appear to be of Alliance origin, which made sense given the presence of the Grizzly and the marines. But there was something… off about it.

She reached for the beacon’s system access panel, then paused, leaning in closer to examine the beacon more closely. Her hand trembled, and she tried to ignore the shaky sensation that was still somewhat in control of her body. Just breathe, focus, and get through this. She could crash later.

The beacon’s outer casing was worn and slightly damaged; apparently being subjected to the incessant dust storms of Edolus for even just a couple of days was taking its toll. It seemed unlikely it would have sustained this level of damage in just a couple of days, but what did she know? The base of the beacon was slightly buried by dirt and sand, and a quick glance over at the Grizzly, which was also slightly buried by dirt but to a much lesser degree, told her that the beacon had been here for longer.

“Guys, something’s not right here…” she said over their comms. How could the beacon have been here longer than the Grizzly?

“Sera,” John called to her, “do the names Schultz, Adler, or… Lansing mean anything to you?”

She felt her eyes burn as tears threatened again. “Shit. Yeah, that’s them.” _Fuck_ , she needed to get off of this planet before she lost herself again.

Opening the panel, Sera found a small screen and keypad. She activated the display and followed the prompts to pull up an access report. She frowned at what she read on the screen.

“This beacon was activated six days ago.”

There was a pause, then John asked, “So?”

She turned around and saw that John had stood and was looking at her while Kaidan still knelt next to a body. She tried not to focus on the fact that the bodies that were strewn around them were men and women she had known. She had to hold it together until she could get out of here.

“So,” she pointed at the beacon, “this has been here for at least six days. But the team only only dropped out of contact _three_ days ago. They weren’t the ones who activated this beacon.”

There was silence as they all pondered the implications.

“Then… who?” Kaidan asked, standing.

“I don’t know. This _is_ an Alliance beacon, so someone familiar with Alliance tech and protocols…” Sera shook her head and looked back at the beacon. “These marines responded to the beacon’s distress signal—just like we did. But look around. This beacon was activated in the middle of a thresher maw nest, but there’s no one else here. Whoever deployed it is gone. It’s almost like… like this beacon was meant to lure people here.”

“That’s sick,” Kaidan said, sounding disgusted.

“It worked,” John observed. “Twice.”

“Well, I’m deactivating it,” Sera said, walking back over to the beacon. When Kahoku sent the recovery team, they could retrieve the beacon, too. Then maybe some Alliance techs could trace the beacon and figure out where it came from.

“Joker, we’re ready to be picked up. Come get us,” John said over their comms.

“Aye aye, sir. The Normandy is en route,” the pilot replied.

When Sera turned around to walk back over to the Mako, she finally let herself look at the bodies of the marines strewn about on the ground. Her heart ached leaving them here, but she knew that Kahoku would recover their bodies as soon as she sent word to him. She had always known that finding the team dead was a possibility, maybe even a likelihood, but actually seeing these men and women lying here was a painful indictment of what she saw as her own failure on this mission.

She could feel herself getting worked up, panic starting to blossom in her chest again, so she forced herself to turn away and climb into the Mako with John and Kaidan. She settled heavily into her seat and didn’t speak as John drove them to their pickup point. Instead, she closed her eyes and focused again on keeping her breathing under control. It was the one thing she could try to remain in control of at this moment.

All she wanted was to get back to the Normandy where she could seek out a tiny corner of the ship with some semblance of privacy and deal with her thoughts and feelings on her own.

  
*****

  
She managed a whole thirty minutes of privacy before someone found her.

Sera startled as the door hatch to the Mako cracked open. It was Kaidan. She hurriedly wiped at her cheeks, brushing away her tears.

“Can I come in?” he asked tentatively.

Sera huffed out a mirthless laugh. “This is your ship. You have more of a right to be in here than I do.” Not exactly an answer to his question, but she didn’t stop him when he pulled open the door a little wider. As Kaidan climbed into the Mako, she turned her head away from him in the vain hope that she could perhaps hide just how much of a mess she was.

He slid onto the bench seat beside her, leaving about half a meter of space between them. She could hear him moving around as he settled, and a moment later, the sound of the Mako’s door being pulled closed was all that filled the small space. Then a heavy silence fell between them.

After taking several slow breaths, Sera decided to break the silence first. “Did John send you to find me?”

“No. It was Garrus, actually.” That made her finally look over at him. Kaidan rubbed at the back of his neck before continuing, “He came down here a little while ago to run some diagnostics on the Mako but found you climbing in here instead. He didn’t want to bother you but, uh, when you didn’t come out for a long time, he thought you might need to talk to someone.”

She gave a nod then turned her head forward again, noting that he had said _need to talk_ and not _want to talk_ , which was accurate. She didn’t really want to talk to anyone—that’s the whole reason she was hiding out in the Mako. It was the only place on the Normandy she could think of to find any privacy. Though apparently she’d even been wrong about that. So much for being a stealth expert; she couldn’t even infiltrate the Mako unobserved.

Kaidan cleared his throat. “So I know this is a stupid question, but I’m going to ask it anyway because I’m not sure where else to start... Are you okay?”

Sera pulled her left leg up onto the bench seat and wrapped her arms around it, resting her chin on her knee. She continued to stare at the back of the seat in front of her and sighed. “I… don’t know,” she admitted.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked suddenly.

She waited a beat, then replied flatly, “Sure.”

“That was terrifying down there.”

After a moment, she lifted her head from her knee and turned to look at him again. Kaidan seemed to be serious—she thought he did still look little shaken even.

“Yeah,” Sera agreed, choosing to stick with basic, simple responses. She wasn’t sure she could say much more without losing it right now.

“And Akuze,” he asked as he studied her face carefully, “was worse than that?”

She turned her head away and stilled, closing her eyes instead of responding as she felt tears threatening.

“Sorry,” he said sorrowfully. “I already know the answer to that. It was stupid of me to ask.”

Sera kept her eyes closed and chose her words carefully when she replied. “It wasn’t stupid, Kaidan. If my psychiatrist were here, she would probably say something like, ‘When people ask a question they already know the answer to, it’s usually because they’re seeking the answer to an entirely different question that they’re too afraid to ask’.”

Then she waited. She waited to see if he would ask her the question he had been too afraid to ask. A question she’d been afraid of him asking her, if she were being honest. But if he asked her right now, she thought she would answer it. After what they'd gone through today, together, she would.

Kaidan was quiet for a long moment, and she guessed he was debating whether or not to ask. She didn’t know whether she wanted him to. Finally, though, he spoke. 

“Sera, what happened on Akuze?”

She exhaled softly, not even realizing until just then that she'd been holding her breath. " _Kaidan_..."

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me anything you're not ready to," he said quickly. She appreciated that he wasn't pressuring her to talk, but if not now, when? What better time was there to tell him her story than now?

"No, it's not that. I want to tell you."

So she did. She told him about their mission, how they’d been sent to investigate the disappearance of a pioneer research team. She told him how they hadn’t found the missing researchers, only their abandoned base—the first of the tragedies on Akuze. And then she told him how, after night fell, their own camp had been set upon by thresher maws, though they hadn’t known at the time what exactly was attacking them.

She wasn’t sure when it happened, but at some point while she was talking, Kaidan slid closer and reached for her. Sera hesitated for only a brief moment before she found herself turning towards him and letting him wrap his arms around her. Her head fit comfortably against his shoulder, tucked beneath his chin, which he rested gently upon her head. He didn’t say anything, didn’t interrupt her as she spoke—he only offered her comfort to help her get through her story. And she gratefully accepted it, savoring his warmth and the security she felt in his embrace.

Finally, she reached the point where she could no longer give a firsthand account of things. She told him then what she had learned after the fact from various doctors and officers about her injuries. She told him about her grueling recovery and about what had been found when the Alliance recovery teams had gone in to salvage what information they could from the site. She told him about the panic attacks she'd had early on, in particular. And she told him about the vivid nightmares she still had, almost six years later.

“They all died, Kaidan. The Alliance couldn’t even recover all of the bodies. Not a single person made it off of Akuze alive except for me.”

When he didn’t speak, she continued softly, starting to recite a list of names she had memorized during her months of recovery. “Avery, Adam. Garcia, Antonio. Sanders, Betty. Toombs—”

“Who are—” He interrupted her, which was probably good since she would have continued on reciting names for a long time. “Those are the names of the marines?” he asked, reframing his question.

“Yeah. Fifty-seven names. The marines and scientists all lost on Akuze.”

“But _you_ didn’t lose them. It wasn’t your fault,” he said eventually. As he spoke the last words, she felt him tighten his hold on her.

“I mean, I objectively know that. They would have died whether I was there or not.”

“So then… why?” She wanted to pull away instead of answering, but she resisted the temptation to move away from him.

“Why did I memorize their names?” she said finally. His chin was still resting on her head, so she felt it when he nodded instead of vocalizing his reply. “Because I still feel guilty. What if I could have done more? Why did I survive and not any of them?" She sighed, then finished, "Someone has to remember them, Kaidan. _I_ have to remember them.”

“You’re a good person, Sera,” Kaidan told her.

She scoffed. “I’m a _lucky_ person.”

“Okay, well, those aren’t mutually exclusive.”

“I suppose not.”

A silence settled over them, and Sera let out a shaky breath. She couldn’t believe she had made it through her whole story without breaking down into tears again. Perhaps she had expended all her tears before Kaidan had arrived. Whatever the reason, she was grateful for it. She had needed to talk, even if she hadn’t wanted to, and she felt—not better, exactly, but maybe lighter, for having done so. And at least now he knew.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked finally.

Sera huffed. He had asked exactly the same question a few minutes ago—a few minutes? An hour? She wasn’t sure how long it had been since he’d first joined her in the Mako.

She decided to answer him in the same way as before, too. “Sure.”

After a pause, he said, “I’ve been out in the Mako with your brother now twice in the past two days—and he is a shit driver.”

Kaidan’s comment was so unexpected that Sera couldn’t help the burst of laughter that bubbled out of her.

“Ha! You’re right. He’s absolutely terrible,” she agreed. He chuckled and his chest shook beneath her, causing her to laugh harder. The comment wasn’t _that_ funny and she was laughing harder than she should, but it felt good just to feel something... different for a minute.

When her laughter died away, she shifted, twisting a little so she could look up at Kaidan, and she was met by a pair of warm, honey-brown eyes gazing back at her.

“Kaidan, I—” she trailed off, not really sure what she had even been about to say to him. He was looking at her so intently, but his expression was unreadable.

He brought a hand up and brushed a stray lock of hair out of her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. His fingers lingered, his thumb resting on her temple and caressing it gently. _Oh_ , his face was so close to hers. All she could think about right now was how she hadn’t even really cleaned up after stripping off her armor after the mission; as soon as she’d detached herself from the others, she’d chosen to hide out in the Mako instead of heading straight to the showers. So she was dirty. Her hair was a mess. Plus, she had been crying, so now her eyes were certainly red and puffy. And how many hours had it been since she’d brushed her teeth?

That’s why Sera was so surprised when the next words Kaidan murmured were, “So beautiful.”

She wasn’t even sure how to respond, she was so caught off-guard by his words. When was the last time someone had told her she was beautiful? She couldn’t even remember.

“Sera, can I—”

He hadn’t even finished his question before Sera was shifting again, raising her head and pressing her lips to his. She brought her own hand up to cup his cheek, finally feeling the rough scruff on his jaw against her skin—she had been wondering for days what it would feel like against her palm.

Sera closed her eyes as their lips met, and a soft noise escaped her as he slanted his mouth against hers. The kiss was simultaneously tentative and needy, and she could feel his fingers thread through her hair as his hand slid backwards to cradle her head. His lips were warm and seemed to fit perfectly against hers, and oh gods, she wanted—

A loud ping from Kaidan’s omni-tool suddenly had them breaking apart. Startled, Sera’s eyes flew open and she could see that the sound had surprised Kaidan as much as it had her. He let out a soft laugh, then leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers.

The ping sounded again and Sera asked breathily, “Are you going to answer that?”

“I’m busy. They can call back,” he replied. When he spoke, his voice was rough and husky.

When his omni-tool pinged a _third_ time, Kaidan groaned.

“It might be important,” Sera insisted. Kaidan sighed, then pulled away slightly so he could look down at his omni-tool and activate his comms.

Joker’s annoyingly cheerful voice filled the Mako’s interior. “Finally! I thought you’d never pick up. Where are you, man?”

“I’m in the middle of something, Joker. What do you need?” Kaidan replied, clearly trying to keep his voice level.

“Right, yeah. The commander’s looking for his sister, and she’s not answering her comms. Have you seen her?” Kaidan’s eyes darted swiftly back to hers, and it was all Sera could do not to burst out laughing at the expression on his face. She glanced down at her own ‘tool—which she had silenced when she’d hidden in the Mako so no one could find her—and quickly checked the display, finding several missed calls from John and one from Joker.

When she looked back up at Kaidan, he was nervously running a hand through his hair and giving her a lopsided grin. “Umm,” was all he could say, unsure of how to answer the pilot.

“Kaidan? You must have cut out there. I didn’t hear your answer,” Joker said insistently a moment later.

Sera didn’t want Kaidan to have to lie for her, so she finally spoke, giving away her presence. “Joker, it’s Sera. I’m here,” she said, loud enough so that the pilot could hear her through Kaidan’s ‘tool. “Tell my brother I’ll meet him in the comm room in a minute. I’m on my way.”

“Kaidan, she’s with you? Wait... What were you guys—”

“Bye, Joker,” Kaidan said, ending the call and cutting off the pilot before he could complete his question. Kaidan moved his hand to the back of his neck and looked at Sera nervously. “Uh, he’s probably going to assume…”

“I am so sorry,” Sera apologized quickly, sitting up and moving to put some space between them. When she’d kissed him, she hadn’t been thinking about the possible consequences for either of them, she’d only been thinking about how his lips would feel against hers and how safe she’d felt in his embrace.

Kaidan’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean? Why are _you_ sorry?”

“Kaidan, I shouldn’t have kissed you—and in the _Mako_ of all places! I'd been trying to keep my distance while we're on the Normandy.” She ran a nervous hand over her own hair, smoothing it down. Mixed feelings of longing and regret roiled in her gut. “You _work_ here.”

“Sera,” he said, “I—”

“No, please. We need to talk about this. I might be a Spectre now, but you—you answer only to the Alliance.” Her words and thoughts felt frantic as she rushed to explain; she was terrified of pushing him away and she was terrified of ruining things for him, even though all she wanted was to pull him close again. “I don’t want to do something that would jeopardize your career in any way. I’d never forgive myself.”

“ _Sera_ , listen—”

“Kaidan, this is your ship. I wouldn’t want whatever this is—” she gestured between them “—to affect your career. I’m going to be back on the Citadel soon, but the Normandy is your posting for the foreseeable future. We _can’t_ here.” She knew she kept cutting him off, but she needed him to understand. Her mind was still in a messed up place after today, but she had enough clarity to know she didn’t want to do anything that could hurt him.

Sera turned away from Kaidan and reached for the door, but she felt his hand gently grasp her elbow before she could push it open.

“ _Wait_ ,” Kaidan said, insistent. “You said we needed to talk about this, but now you’re running away...” She paused at that, turning back to look at him. His eyes looked so earnest as he searched her face. If she looked into those golden brown pools any longer, she’d fall right in. She had to walk away before she did.

“Thank you for earlier, Kaidan. Down on Edolus. You pulled me back when all I wanted in that moment was to lose myself. _Thank you_.” Then she slipped out of his grasp and exited the Mako to answer her brother’s summons.

  
*****

  
The next evening, Sera disembarked alone back on the Citadel while the Normandy quickly refueled and restocked and then headed out for its next mission. There had been no temporary shore leave or Citadel excursions for any of the Normandy crew, other than Dr. T’Soni who hadn’t been able to bring a single item of her gear or personal effects aboard the Normandy and had to make some rapid purchases on the Citadel during the few hours the ship was docked.

During their course back to the Citadel, Sera had managed to avoid any one-on-one interactions with Kaidan or anyone else on the Normandy’s crew except for Dr. Chakwas, whom John had insisted Sera pay a visit to after what had happened down on Edolus. It was his ship and she knew he was just looking out for her, so she felt like she couldn’t refuse. 

Chakwas had access to her Alliance medical and psych records and had pretty easily figured out what was going on. She hadn’t pressed Sera too intently, but Chakwas had offered her a place to sleep that night, a gesture that Sera appreciated. She had been worried about having a nightmare while sleeping in the very public crew quarters, so she’d gratefully accepted a bed in the medbay. It had turned out to be the right choice as she’d startled herself awake in the middle of the night with a panicked sob and had only been able to get back to sleep after Chakwas had given her a sleep aid.

Sera had spent most of the rest of her time aboard the Normandy camped out in John’s quarters. He’d let her use his private terminal to send off her report to Kahoku and make a series of difficult calls. She had informed Kahoku that she wanted to be the one to notify next of kin. Sera knew she’d be a fucking mess afterwards, but their families deserved to know why they’d died and she felt like it was her responsibility to make those calls. Kahoku had acquiesced to her request, and after six of the most difficult conversations she’d ever had, Sera had just curled up on John’s bed and cried. Some big, tough Spectre she was turning out to be.

When she met with Admiral Kahoku the day after arriving back on the Citadel, he informed her that he’d read over her report and assured her that she wasn’t to blame. It didn’t help. She was feeling so down that she didn’t even complain when he tossed her some simple tasks, Council and Alliance paperwork and reports to be reviewed and filed, then let her spend the rest of the day working at one of the spare desks outside of his office.

“Excuse me?”

Sera startled at the sudden question, her head flying up to identify the speaker. She had been reading a report about some unusual energy readings reported by an Alliance patrol out in the Argos Rho cluster so intently that she hadn’t noticed that a woman had approached and was standing just on the other side of her desk. Glancing around quickly told Sera that Petty Officer Cohen, who was normally sitting out here manning the reception desk, had gone to lunch, so she would have to deal with the visitor herself.

“Good afternoon. Can I help you with something?” Sera asked, putting on a professional air. The woman standing before her looked to be around the same age as Sera; she had olive skin and dark brown hair that hung long and straight down to her hips. She was strikingly beautiful, Sera thought, handsome and exotic, and she had a brilliant smile complete with attractive dimples. She was finely dressed, and Sera couldn't help but wonder what in the galaxy a woman like this was doing here in the reception area of the Alliance military’s Citadel offices.

“Hello, yes, I am trying to track down someone… He’s a marine, and I was hoping someone here might be able to help me do that,” she said. She spoke perfect English, but her voice was soft and had a pleasant, lilting accent.

Sera again quickly surveyed her surroundings—yep, she was definitely here alone. She wasn’t really sure what the proper protocol was for something like this. It certainly wasn’t something to go bother Admiral Kahoku over, but she hadn’t expected she’d find herself alone and in charge of the whole reception area. When had Cohen even left?

“I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m afraid I can’t help you. Perhaps you could come back later or”— an idea occurred to her—“you might want to try the embassy? I’m sure someone there would be able to help you find a missing person.”

The woman clasped her hands together, undeterred by the fact that Sera either couldn’t or wouldn’t help her. “Oh, thank you, but he’s not missing. I just—wait, I recognize you!” she said, her eyes widening. “You’re her, Commander Sera Shepard.”

 _Oh, perfect_. Sera tried not to let her familiar discomfort at having been recognized show, instead forcing a gracious smile on her face. “Yes, ma’am, that’s me.”

“Oh, see then you _can_ help me! I spotted the marine I’m trying to contact in the news vids of your Spectre ceremony. He was there—it’s how I know he’s been on the Citadel. You might even know him.”

Sera frowned. This woman sure was persistent. “Ma’am, I’m not sure that would be approp—” she began, but the woman interrupted her.

“Please, this man was once a very close friend of mine, but we've fallen out of contact. I live on the Citadel now, and when I saw that he was here recently, I just knew I had to reach out. You would be doing me a great favor if you could help me get in touch with him.” Her tone was pleading and accompanied by a brilliant smile; it was clear that this woman was used to charming people into helping her.

Sera almost groaned aloud. She was _far_ too nice, letting this woman persuade her into helping so easily, though she still wasn’t going to give out a marine’s contact information to a stranger. No way. “Alright, how about you give me your contact information, and I will try to get it to him? That’s the best I can do.”

“Thank you!” The woman nodded agreeably and began reaching around in the fashionable bag she was carrying. Sera peered at her curiously, wondering what she was doing until the woman pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. She watched as she jotted down a few sentences, then folded the note several times. On the outside, she wrote a couple of words, then held the paper out for Sera.

“What is the marine's name and who should I tell him is trying to reach him?” Sera asked perfunctorily as she took the note.

“My name is Rahna Bayar. I wrote my contact info on the outside of the note.” Sera glanced down at the paper in her hand and saw a name, email, and phone number written in elegant script. “If you could get this to Kaidan Alenko, I would be eternally grateful.”

**Author's Note:**

> This story won't have a regular posting schedule for the time being, but my goal is to try and have a new chapter up every few weeks. The chapters are on the longer side rather than the shorter, so hopefully that helps!


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